The Adventures of Tim and Bethany

A snowy day....oh wait...I meant 'a snowy WEEK'!

2012-01-18T09:25:00.000-08:00

our stairs on Tuesday morning.
Promise eating the "cold"
Toby learning to walk in snow....until he couldn't! By Tuesday afternoon, he was buried and could no longer move in it!

Greetings! It has been an adventurous week! It started with a light snowfall on Friday and included a WONDERFUL visit from our friends, Amber, Kayla and Jenna. We met these three precious ladies in the Philippines about two years ago. They have been on a little bit of a visitation tour of the West before heading out on the field again. Amber is headed to India and Kayla and Jenna are headed to Sierra Leone.

We were so blessed with their company on Saturday and were so thankful they made time in their busy schedules to visit us....despite driving all the way up from Oregon and hitting snow here in Abbotsford!

Then Sunday night, the snow decided to show itself more powerful and a few more inches fell. We were able to get outside to play on Monday (Daddy's day off) as a family and even try to drive the highway towards Richmond to get Tim's camera fixed....alas, we only made it to Langley and had to turn back towards home as the snow was too thick to see through....

Tuesday, Tim had to take my van to work as his van has stinky tires on it and would likely end up in a ditch, so we cancelled two doctor's appointments and our women's bible study was cancelled....we got some time outside....it took well over 30 minutes to get the kids "suited up" for snow for less than 10 minutes of snow fun....

so, here we are, Wednesday morning and it's still snowing.... -11 degrees Celsius and the wind is blowing so hard you can only see about 5 feet in front of you. :) It's an inside day.

I measured the snow this morning.... 11 inches and still falling. The drifts get up to an upwards of 18 inches....this isn't sledding snow...Toby gets buried too fast now....and it's too dry and soft to make snowmen....

However, we did get some sledding and snowball-throwing in before the snow took its blustery, cheek-burning turn. Tomorrow is supposed to be light snow and moments of sun....then rain on Friday afternoon through Sunday....ewww....slushy and flooding?

For now, it's beautiful.

Please be praying for Tim....he is heading up to the next level of responsibility at work and with the addition of being short-staffed, he is a busy dude. He is taking on the role of assistant manager in so many areas, but still has to maintain the role of answering phones and customer relations all while interviewing for new positions. It's amazing and wonderful that they trust him with such responsibilities after only being employed there for 9 1/2 months, but it is also daunting!

Thank you for your prayers. He is doing a great job, but certainly feels inadequate....which I guess is good because it means that the Lord can be mighty in his weakness.

Be blessed.

Happy New Year

2012-01-06T13:46:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year! 2012 is sure to be rich with growth if it was anything like 2011!

Here's the last of 2011....pictured above is promise and me getting ready to blow out the candles on my birthday cake the day after Christmas....no, I am not turning 2 years old, but I did have two candles....notice that one of the candles is the number 3. I am 31. Just so there's no confusion. :)
Promise and daddy made that cake for me. And thanks to my dear friends, Arnica and Liv, I even got 3 princesses and two dwarves on my cake. :)
Yes, Promise and daddy were very careful to measure everything perfectly...and the cake was magnificent! While they made the cake, I took down all the Christmas cheer from our house....yes, the Bedford Falls cityscape was demolished and put into boxes.....the garland removed, the Christmas tree de-christmassed. Got it done in one day! WAHOO!
Christmas day yielded a grand and wild party with all the Stewart cousins pictured above. :) Micah, Hope, baby Grace, Toby, Promise, Lila and Justice played so very well together and the noise level was deafening....just the way we like it. Promise got very special pjs from Grandmastina and other precious treasures...

Toby and Promise got new slippers on Christmas Eve....they NEVER take them off....Promise is convinced they are "ballet slippers" and claims that they make her dance. :)
Just before Christmas, we got a surprise visit from Promise and Toby's favorite person in the world!....TEAGAN, babysitter-extraordinaire. She and her boyfriend, Leighton, came over for some pre-Christmas festivities....it was so much fun!
And the Monday before Christmas yielded a very precious gift....Tim's best friend, Paso, and my friend, Laurenn, and their son, Zeke, welcomed a beautiful baby girl into their lives...Amelia was born perfectly and beautifully into her daddy's waiting hands (and midwife) on the morning of the 19th. Laurenn's labor was amazing and though very difficult, Laurenn was a champ and after having a cesarian section with her first child, had many prayers answered with this normal vaginal delivery. She was a labor QUEEN!

And all the more special....I got to be her doula. :) This was my first birth since being back from the Philippines and I was so honored to be a part of it.....so grateful to take part in Laurenn and Paso's joy and thrilled to be in a birth room again.

But I was also reminded as to why I am not a practicing midwife right now! Being on-call is tough when you have two toddlers dependent on you and a hubby that work 6 days a week for 12 hours a day! And 36 hours without sleep is just not right in my world. And the muscle and back pain! I had forgotten about THAT! Sigh....perhaps midwifery is still supposed to be on the back burner for a few more years.

My parents made a surprise visit to us for New Years...Promise went ballistic and Toby was in utter shock. We had a wonderful meal together and then Toby and woke up the next morning with strep throat and the flu. So my parents became nurses for two days as they took trips to Walmart for meds and Promise out for lunch to give Toby and me some much-needed rest. They took off Sunday morning, much to our disappointment....perhaps another trip is due in the near future.

Tim is loving his job and working hard...Promise is lovely....Toby is just now getting a bit better from his awful flu/strep virus and I am seeking.

May 2012 be full of transformation from the inside out.

Be blessed.

Christmas fun....more pics!

2011-12-16T11:22:00.000-08:00

Toby's "What'cha talkin' 'bout, mom!?" look.
Handsome 18-month boy...
And my pretty bird.
Elton John?
Foamies stick!
Promise, a true foamie artist!
Our finished gingerbread house....

Building...
Icing....

Ahhh.....the sights and sounds of Christmas.....Promise and Toby even re-enacted the Christmas story....of course Promise was Mary and Toby was (reluctantly) Joseph. The baby Jesus? Well, He was several Dora dolls. :)

I love Christmas.

Be Blessed.

Christmas!

2011-12-13T14:52:00.000-08:00

Greetings! Sorry....things have been so hairy that I haven't had much time to sit...

In a nutshell....

Promise is no longer wearing pull-ups to bed. :)

Toby is walking....no, RUNNING everywhere....tantrums abound....as does God's mercy and grace....I am going nuts and I love my husband....

Oh, is that snow I see?

And Promise is singing Jingle Bells! Here are some pics of her very first Christmas production at church! She LOVED being on stage and sang well. I love her. And the last pic is of her in front of our very first REAL LIVE Christmas tree in 9 years of marriage! :) I like trees.

Happy Christmas, everyone and we'll update later!

Be Blessed!

Hand, foot and mouth....eww, yuck!

2011-11-17T14:02:00.000-08:00

Toby learned two new words this past week..."Ewww, Yuck!"

This was in response to his latest adventure....Hand, foot and mouth disease. Yes, Toby contracted this nasty virus that attacked his whole body from head (especially mouth) to feet from church nursery. Painful blisters, high fever, diarrhea, and lethargy sent me with him to hospital. I came home with tylenol. Poor kid...nasty virus and all we could do was wait it out and hunker down into quarantine mode. That's right....stuck in the house for well over 7 days. Then Promise got it, but thankfully, she only got two spots. :) So with our stuck days, we decorated the house for CHRISTMAS! Yes, we know it's early, but it's the most wonderful time of the year! We're just attempting to make it LOOOONGER. :)

And here is our fairy princess now! She LOVES her princess crown from her cousin's birthday party and her girly sunglasses from her friend, Shiloh. And the dress....from our friends Sandra and Wendy...they blessed us with a bunch of beautiful clothes for Promise. This is Promise's favorite outfit...she says that she is beautiful in this dress. I agree....with or without dress....my daughter is beautiful.

When the kids and I finally reached total meltdown, cabin fever, get the heck outta the house feelings this weekend, we decided that Daddy should take us to Grandma Con and Papa Jim's house in Oregon for Remembrance Day weekend. :) Tim thought that was the perfect way to spend a 3-day (that turned into 4!) weekend! Tim has very few days off, so this was quite a surprise and a welcomed treat!

So we surprised my mom and dad arriving Friday afternoon and invading their peaceful house and weekend with Hand, Foot and mouth disease remnants. They didn't mind!

We had an amazing time.

It was what we needed. I find that spending time with my parents is like getting hooked up to a Holy Spirit IV of encouragement, truth and eternal perspective. We all needed it.

One night on a whim, while doing some much-needed laundry (Toby still had horrible diarrhea), I found my wedding dress from almost 10 years ago! I also found my mom's wedding dress, my grandmother's and my GREAT grandmother's wedding dresses! So the thought goes through my mind, "I wonder if I could still fit in that!?"

And guess what!?

I DID! And my mom put hers on, too, just for fun! Although 10 years have changed my shape dramatically (partially from having kids), that dress fit me almost better than it did 10 years ago. It was somewhat encouraging.

Toby showed off his new tricks...he has this little flirtatious evil eye he does (the picture doesn't do it justice, but it's AWESOME!)...he had my parents in laughing fits with this move. What a character...even when sick!
My little man.
And His sister likes him, too! She's very affectionate and he is just waiting for the right moment to take her affection and sink his teeth right into it...literally...we often have to say, "TOBY, NO BITING!"

And once again, my precious girl. She is just so very smart and growing so well. Ya know, she still remembers her friends from the Philippines.....she often asks for Eliana and Zoe, her very first friends....she was less than 2 when she made those two friends and still draws them pictures and makes them "presents" weekly.....so, Heather Boswell and An-An, if you are reading this, please tell your kids what an incredible blessing they have been and continue to be to Promise....she remembers them with great love.

With Christmas on its way, we have been reading treasured stories to Promise about the birth of Jesus and the true meaning of Christmas. We will not be doing any Christmas presents this year, so we are planning on doing some kind of service project or creative blessing activity instead. Promise is still young enough that she does not expect gifts on Christmas (at least we don't think she does), so we will start the tradition of blessing eachother in other ways....giving thanks first and foremost to Jesus, for it is HIS birthday and HIS celebration.

With all the bombardment of "give the perfect gift" and the pressures of "bigger and better", I am so thankful that we are broke and haven't any money to buy gifts this year! It certainly takes the pressure off AND gives us more time to focus on BEING the gift rather than BUYING it. I am committing to BEING a gift to my family in order to honor Christ and I hope to teach Promise the same....THAT is pressure enough! Ha ha ha! I will need Christ to accomplish that, too!

Enjoy the season of blessing.

Warm colors, cold wind....

2011-11-04T14:41:00.000-07:00

Greetings! Promise, Toby and I (mommy) went out this week for a autumn photo hunt for fall colors and WOW! we found some! Above is our little Mum plant that was dying from slug attacks last year and after some loving care, behold! What a pretty color.

Grandma-Stina, as Promise calls her (Tim's mom), and Papa Steve bought a lovely maple tree for the backyard that Tim planted...Promise loves that the leaves are falling off it....she had to strike a pose.
One of my favorite plants this time of year is the chinese lanterns....love their colors and love their shape.
I planted a passion flower vine in the yard this year and despite the nursery telling me to bring it inside for the winter, I planted it in the ground....with plenty of winter warmth...underneath Promise's painted rocks is a fleece blanket, styrofoam, newspaper, and finally, the plastic planter....I am sure it will survive. :)
Next we have my favorite fall colors.....
And our walk to the park, under our favorite fall tree, with our house (the blue one) in the background (though you can't see our basement suite from this angle).

Sorry it took me so long to post...Tim was gone in Vernon, BC for two weeks for more Kal Tire training, so getting to the computer was like going to Disneyland....it never happened.

But Tim has returned and life is just starting to get back to normal.

I have been thinking a lot about what it means to be a "true Christian" amidst a society that is self-seeking, self-sufficient, self-actualizing, and SELF-selfing. You know what I mean?

Our search to make ourselves happy is a constant rat race....while we don't always admit it, but just about everything we do comes down to our need to feel happy....we buy certain foods because they taste good, thus making us feel good while we eat them...we buy certain cushy chairs to make our bums feel happy....we plant flowers to enjoy their fruit, which makes us happy....etc.

Now, I know I am leaving out a large component here, as I am fully aware that enjoying God's creation and His provision is not always self-serving....however, I am finding that there is also an "unhappiness" in life that is to be expected, is healthy and certainly "holy".

Like I shared about in the last post...we ARE sojourners here....aliens in a weird, fallen, pain-ridden world....and because of this, we groan. Our spirits groan....creation groans....we groan for the coming of Jesus when pain, suffering and sin will be no longer part of our daily lives.

In Freedom Session, a class I am currently taking, one of the repeated phrases is "the only way through the pain is THROUGH the pain"....you can't jump over it, cover it up, ignore it, medicate it, or go around it....we are MADE to experience pain. It's good...it's necessary and it will always be there....a reminder of the fact that this world is not what we are living for....it's the next....until Jesus comes, pain will be a part of this life....yes, I know I am stating the obvious, but how often do we run from pain because it is uncomfortable and we feel we should not feel discomfort? Or even SHOW discomfort..."a GOOD Christian is living in a constant state of VICTORY and it should show!" Yes, I am being VERY facetious.

Jesus came to rescue us from the pain and consequence of sin and death and He HAS!....but until we are in His Presence.....face to face....beholding His complete glory in the Place He has prepared for us, we will feel a lack...we will feel pain....our spirits will groan. Do we not believe that the Trinity feels pain as He watches another divorce, another starving child, another person refuse Him? Of course He does! When we feel pain, we identify with Christ. Did He not feel the utmost pain on the cross? Why do we run from pain? What if Jesus had run from the pain? Mmmm.

My friend, Naomi, had a beautiful baby boy on Tuesday....she is one of those people who smiles broadly while in labor...singing, swaying and dancing....moaning, grunting, and IN PAIN....seriously...she will say loudly, "I am in PAIN" and yet, she continues to smile through tears of pain and joy....and her pain lasts but a couple of intense hours and her reward is nestled in her arms....isn't that how we are? With our lives as a moment, a breath compared to eternity...we smile and groan through tears of pain and joy knowing that our pain will not last much longer and will give way to precious life with Christ.

I long and groan for Heaven....and I smile through tears.

Be blessed.

Happy Canadian Thanksgiving!

2011-10-10T14:17:00.000-07:00

What's Promise thankful for?

"Baby Grace!" she says emphatically. Baby Grace is her cousin. :)

What's Tim thankful for?

"All sorts of stuff....the Cross!"

Me?

"His faithfulness!"

Toby?

"Mommy" Ha ha ha.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Be blessed!

Peeing Refrigerator.

2011-10-03T14:11:00.000-07:00

So, greetings! And HAPPY FALL! I am writing this as I listen to Tobias cry as he is falling asleep.....and next to me is the sound of our refrigerator tinkling....not sure where the water is going, but it's a very similar sound to peeing in a metal drum. Sorry for the awesome visual.

As Fall is here, we thought it a good idea to enjoy the last few days of a rain-less existence. Here in Abbotsford, it rains about 6 months out of the year, starting today. :) Tim, Promise, Toby and I ventured down the street from our house to the local dairy farm this weekend to enjoy some farm animals and smells.

This great NutriBarn Dairy farm is open to the public without cost! We like free entertainment! So when Daddy is at work, Promise, Toby, and I go there often to visit Darla the Donkey, the turkeys, Emmy the goat and her "sisters", the two piglets, and two new baby cows. They also have a few miniature horses, two stallions, and a llama....or maybe it's an Alpaca? I dunno, but it's ugly. :) Promise wanted to show her daddy all the awesome animal friends she had made, so we got to go as a family on Saturday.
Here's Promise with her new friends, the sleeping pigs.
The ugly llama....alpaca? Serious underbite....apparently the farm has not invested in an animal dentist....
Tim and the Stallion....both studs. :) Getting friendly, aren't they!?
Mommy and Toby making friends with Stallion #2
Toby was not at all frightened of this massive and beautiful creature. He LOVED it!

As I shared last post, Promise, Toby and I have been getting very active in our church during the week. I started a class called "Freedom Session" every Wednesday while Promise attends their preschool Bible Study and Toby enjoys new toys in the nursery. :)

Then on Tuesdays and Thursdays, we get to "workout" or "dance" to worship music with a bunch of other ladies and their kids....that's our Phys Ed for the week! Ha ha ha! Promise and I started home-preschooling and we are having a gas! Promise is so very smart and eager to learn. She is getting great at identifying the letters of the alphabet in the stories she reads as well as making their phonetic sounds. :) She LOVES being read to and is picking up on patterns of letters, words and paragraphs. She also seems to be very good at entry-level elementary math! She can count to 20 without help and has already been adding and subtracting with raisins, marshmellows and chocolate chips. Smarty-pants.

On Monday night, Tim and I joined a Pastorate group from church and are looking forward to the deep, authentic relationships that will develop through that fellowship. Promise and Toby have the privilege of attending, as well.

I continue to be blessed through serving on one of the many worship teams at church...not just because it's an opportunity to do something I love, but moreso because of fellowshipping with the amazing people on the team. I have been humbled and encouraged hearing the stories of the team members and the way the Lord has challenged and blessed them through trials, pain, joy and crazy experiences.

Toby continues to astound me with his ability to communicate....He now plays "Peek-a-boo" randomly on his own and has learned how to open and close doors...that has been a bit of a problem in our world, but I am glad that he is trying new things...he has also discovered how to quickly empty the dishwasher for me....much to my chagrin. His main job, though and his greatest talent is bugging Promise.... What a monkey.

Tim's job is going great and it appears as though he will be on the fast track to management. His level of wisdom and integrity has gone noticed by his superiors and they are very happy with him. He seems to have a very positive relationship with everyone there and comes home super excited about work....for that, we are so grateful. The Lord has been giving him favour and equipping him for the future!

It has been almost a year since returning home from the Philippines. We have undergone an intense time of healing and are continuing to seek redemption and restoration from our Lord. Tim has said that this has been the very best year of his life....rich and full of God's grace. For me, I think this year has been full of internal struggle and pain. Ha ha ha....yet, if had not been for Tim's positive perspective and changed spirit and for God's grace, I think I would've shut down and checked out a long time ago. God has been good and faithful. I have never heard the Lord speak so clearly through His word than in this season. I am so grateful for His continued faithfulness in that.

I have been pondering a bit more about the state of our Christian existence....how we are just sojourners in this life and our home is really someplace else....How I long to be there now....I'll share more about that side of things next post. :)

Be blessed.

Blueberries, Balloons, and Birthdays....

2011-09-07T14:01:00.000-07:00

Greetings! As promised....here are the pics of our Summer silliness. I read this silly quote today and could totally relate:

"You know you're fatigued when you find yourself licking the bottom of your coffee pot."

So above and below are pics from our frantic beach trip a few weeks ago with my side of the fam....

Promise loves going to any park and discovering all the "hiding places"...
We played a bit of volleyball, though there was little "volleying".....
Gramma Con and Papa Jim, Greatgramma Thelm and Papa Phil got Promise a beautiful, old doll house for her birthday and Uncle Andy did some modern renovations to get it up to code. :) Promise LOVES it....and much to her dismay, so does Toby. :)
We spent a bit of time on the Oregon beach...very windy!
But we found some shelter in our beach-grass bunker. :)
Then we returned home and had a small family birthday party with Promise on her actual special day of August 24th complete with cake and TONS of blueberries! (Thank you, Bea, for the wonderful candle!)
Toby enjoyed the cake, too. And we made Tim a Birthday Berry Pie....
Then Tim and I went on our Anniversary Balloon ride! Here's Tim holding the balloon open while the crew blows it up! You can actually walk right inside!
But then, they start the hot air and you REALLY don't want to be inside when they turn the fire on! It's HOT! Tim might've singed a few nosehairs just holding the balloon open!
But then we climbed into the basket along with 3 other couples and our pilot.
And got to 500 ft....no wind....so we dropped to 400 ft. and we were SAILING!
It was so peaceful....breathtaking. The only sounds you could hear up there were the occasional blast of hot air and the barking dogs attempting to chase you!
All the Mum plants in bloom down below....incredible scenery!
Then we landed in a park's parking lot missing a power line by about a foot! Awesome. So much fun!
Then we all helped deflate the balloon and pack it all into this small bag! Incredible!
Then we came home to our handsome boy....
What a HAM!
And our precious girl's birthday with the Stewart side and friends. We had a lovely tea party....
Got instructions for bashing pinatas.....
Bashed Dora and Promise's cousin, Justice, decapitated Dora with her guts of candy flying everywhere!
So we moved on to the homemade pinatas....
And of course, the homemade cake.....the end!

It was utter chaos with kids running everywhere, but my dear friend, Heather, who visited from Seattle and Tim helped to decorate and create a party atmosphere unlike I've ever seen! It was a GAS! Everyone had a great time and we all crashed into bed after cleaning up the post-party hurricane. Thank you, everyone for coming and making her day so special!

Up ahead, Promise, Toby, and I will be joining our church's weekly bible study and a few other classes during the week starting this month. She is so excited to be going to church more than just on Sunday. Pretty cool. I am thankful to be joining a community of women to learn and grow from. Exciting. We're also going to be hunkering down in our financial journey while Tim continues to work hard....he is LOVING his job and we are so proud of him.

God has blessed us this summer. I am so utterly humbled by His mercy. I love my kids and I am so grateful for my husband. God is faithful.

Be blessed.

2011-08-30T14:40:00.000-07:00

Greetings! I haven't emptied all of Tim's camera, so we're stuck with just these few pics of the last couple of weeks. I will update next week with more photos. We had a Saturday at a funny little adventure park in Harrison Hot Springs that could have gone terribly wrong except for the fact that our kids are so well behaved! First the mini "choo-choo train" we were supposed to ride (and paid for) derailed WHILE WE WERE ON IT! and they proceeded to usher us out of the haunted house where it skipped tracks. We were grateful, however, that it did not jump track over the many trestles slamming into the people below! Ha aha ha! Promise totally thought it was part of the ride and didn't complain that her train trip was only 1 minute and 20 seconds long. Good girl.

So that was the first hiccup. Then there was "gold-panning" for mysterious gold that we, *ahem*, found as tiny specks on a few rocks. Promise LOVED looking for treasure....and getting wet. :) Gotta love her "glass-half-full" mentality.

Then we headed to the mini-golf...Promise's first time! High on the ice cream we had after lunch, Promise bobbed from green to green whacking her ball with grace and style even getting a hole in one! I was so impressed. Toby was a keen observer to all the goings on and had a gas! We had a great time together as a family....and then we finished it off by picking up mass quantities of fresh blueberries and raspberries from a local farm...eating most of them in the car on the ride home. What a blessing. It's hard to believe that was at the BEGINNING of August and here we are at the very end!

We've had quite the events around here. The 18-20th, we headed down for a freak visit to the Oregon Coast meeting up with my parents, grandparents and my brother's family. We arrived at the little beach house my parents borrowed at 1:30 am with a very excited and AWAKE Promise and a crabby, tired Toby. One by one, each family member got up to pee about the same time greeting us sleepily and pouring more adrenaline into our sleepless bodies. :) We had a great weekend, though tired. We flew kites, celebrated birthdays and went for lots of walks in the two short days. It was such a pleasure to be with my family. Pictures to come!

Then we had Promise's birthday the 24th and Tim's on the 25th! Promise and I had a lovely tea party and had some time with my dear friend, Rebecca, and her daughter, Annalyn. Then we headed to a local farm for berries and ice cream for Promise's birthday dessert. Daddy picked up a tiny cake and we had the evening with mac 'n cheese, berries, cake and ice cream...every toddler's treat.....Promise is 3! I can hardly believe my precious girl is so big. Toby enjoyed the festivities, too, making sure we gave him ample attention and plenty of blueberries.

Then, poor Tim had to work on his birthday, so I did what any responsible wife would do....I called his co-workers and told them to embarrass the heck out of him.....I also made him a fresh berry pie and filled his lunch at work with treats. :) Then I abandoned him with the kids when he got home for the evening so that I could go to worship practice at church! Ha ha! But I made it home in time for pie and fellowship with him and his parents. :) He's been such a champ and an encouragement.

We had a busy weekend, as I had the privilege of singing on one of the worship teams at our church requiring me to be gone much of Saturday and Sunday. Tim was so great with the kids and the kids thoroughly enjoyed having Daddy time without mommy. To be honest, it was a great blessing for me, too, as it has been AGES since I have done anything musical let alone done it with a group of passionate people for the Lord. I was truly humbled and blessed by the experience and so grateful....

This week started off with the kiddos getting run down and getting fevers. Tomorrow is our anniversary....I guess I can tell you the surprise now that I mentioned in last post...I made him a wedding album. :) Don't tell him, though, because he won't receive it until tomorrow!

You see, we've always wanted a wedding album, but couldn't afford one. Through the awesomeness of apple and the pics we have on file, I was able to finally put together a book of our wedding....this anniversary is paramount for us for a number of reasons, so I am thrilled to be able to present to Tim something that speaks to our journey together. We have a counseling appointment tomorrow night for our anniversary! HA HA HA! But then on Friday, we get to get into a hot air balloon!!!!! YAHOOO!

Saving up for such lavishness and couponing paid off. However, starting this month, we go into financial shutdown mode...our budget has been nutso since arriving home from the Phils and learning how to buy, when to buy and what to buy has been a challenge as food prices skyrocket and the cost of running two cars is overwhelming. No doubt everyone is feeling the squeeze and we are definitely looking into the possibility of me looking for a second income, too....though we know that God has called me to stay home with the kids while they are young. We have saved some money on diapers by potty-training Promise and buying local....we're still searching for other avenues. September will be a teaching month for me.....thankfully there are few birthdays in September, which broke the bank this month. We'll see how we do. God has been so faithful to provide even the simplest things....like yesterday, I went to the grocery store that listed yogurt on sale (Toby goes through a litre of yogurt every 2 days!) so the sale price was decent, but still a bit expensive...as I am comparing labels, the yogurt food rep comes up to me commenting on how cute my kiddos are and we get to talking.....one thing leads to another and she hands me a stack of fabulous coupons on the sale priced yogurt good until 2013 as well as a few tips on how to make my yogurt go further! WAHOOO! I was so grateful!

I used to make my own when in the Phils, but in order to get the greatest amount of milkfat in it for Toby, I have to buy it....so I was so thankful for this angel of yogurt. God provides....

Okay...enough...writing...that's the update. I will share more next post post ballooning.

Be blessed.

Summer-ing

2011-08-05T07:53:00.000-07:00

Greetings~ Summer is finally here in Abbotsford.....after a "summer" full of rain, we are getting 3-4 days of sun in a row! Time to pull out the camera and take some outside shots of the kids...
And some indoor shots, too! Toby is growing faster these days....loves to climb in and out of things, open all cupboards and empty contents on to the floor....I love this stage. He cracks me up. Almost walking, he is in constant motion....even when sleeping.

He is addicted to blueberries and I think he may be turning a pale shade of purple as a result....oh well, there are worse things to be addicted to. :)
Promise is POTTY-TRAINED! Yeah! We are accident-free for 5 days now! We started over Canada's long weekend and Tim and I were as consistent as possible rewarding Promise with a sticker and a chocolate chip with each pee or poo in the potty. She strutted her bare-bottom for 4 whole days until VOILA! She stopped fighting the potty and has now graduated to Dora undies (as seen above)....her reward for a diaper-free existence. Now we are trying to figure out how to get her out of Pull-ups during the night and nap time. I am sure that will take some time. WAY TO GO, my big girl, Promise!
We got a bit of time with the Stewart side of the family the last few weeks heading to the nearest park and playing with all the cousins.
Toby loves the park....and Grandmastina (Grandma Christina), too.
We had the kids dedicated at our church, Northview, on Father's Day and was really blessed by the richness of the ceremony and the commitment to strong accountability in our parenting in the ways of Christ. I love our church.
So these are my typical days, as of late....we bathe in the sink for fun and make messes all over the house. I love my two monkeys.

I have been processing a lot these days. I finally went to the doctor last week because my brain and body were so overloaded I was feeling as though I was losing my mind. I couldn't get a sentence out right, was forgetting the simplest instructions, got lost while driving to normal locations, could barely get myself out of bed, had trouble engaging in any conversation and just generally felt an enormous pressure in my head....almost like I had overdosed on nighttime cold meds. I was due for a physical anyways, so I thought I would just get checked out.

She asked if I was under any stress....I think that would be the understatement of the decade! HA HA HA! She quickly took my blood pressure....I am generally healthy....though overweight (what else is new!) and she prescribed a massive dose of fish oil and vitamin D. Yeah, I could've told you that! So we'll try it. I hear that it has some positive effects....lots of my friends are currently on it, too. I take my vitamins, but have never had to OD on these two helpful supplements before. We'll see.

Despite my giant brain farts and inability to communicate (sorry if I am all over the map!), God has been sharing His heart for me. I was reading John 20 this week and was touched by John 20:24-29. Remembering the sacrifice of Jesus and His resurrection, I was amazed at Jesus' continued compassion on His people. Remember doubting Thomas? He's the disciple that said to his buddies, "I won't believe that Jesus has been raised unless I feel the nail scars on his hands and the scar on his side." Even though the other disciples saw Jesus, Thomas was just not convinced.

So, a WEEK LATER, Jesus appears to the disciples out of nowhere and the first things out of his mouth are "Peace be with you!" and the second? Directly to Thomas...not in rebuke, but in compassion and love, "Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe!"

Thomas does so and says, "My Lord and my God!" Jesus had every right to disregard Thomas, as he was just being a doubter. But God HEARD Thomas' request even though Jesus was not even present in the room when Thomas made that request to touch Jesus' scars! God HEARD him and not only proved to Thomas that He loved him enough to take his request to heart, but to appear to him in full humanity again making His first conversation in front of the disciples about proving to Thomas that He was indeed, the Lord. Whew. That hit me hard this week. Blessed are we who believe when we do not see! That's what this chapter ends with, and yet, God still shows His 'face' when we need to see Him...His humanity and His sovereignty all at the same time. How much care and grace our Heavenly Father has on us to show Himself when we are doubting. I am humbled. "Oh Lord, I need to SEE You."

This month, Tim and I celebrate our 9th Wedding Anniversary. I am taking him on a hot-air balloon ride over the lower mainland. :) The Lord provided that in a miraculous way. We have always wanted to do something like this, but it's WAY above our pay-grade and yet, God provided a half-off coupon and provided the funds....miraculously. This anniversary is unlike any other for us for a myriad of reasons...I have another gift planned, too....I can't tell you what it is, yet. :) I thank the Lord everyday for His faithfulness and redemption in even the hardest of circumstances. So, in gratefulness to God, I share with you two photos from 9 years ago this August 31st. Be blessed.

PS. I will share "balloon" pics in early September. :)

Time passing....

2011-07-18T12:26:00.000-07:00

Greetings! I tore a ligament in my thumb last month rendering me useless with my left hand for 6 weeks, thus, typing is slow....sorry for the delay. My writing hand is healing and thanks to my mother-in-law being there when I injured it, taking me to the hospital right away and helping me care for the kids the following days, I will be able to use my thumb again soon. :)

In the meantime, my mom came up from Oregon to help me out and then we headed down to their house in Oregon while Tim headed to Vernon, BC for work training. Here's what we've been up to.....
Toby enjoying 'cooking' in Promise's kitchen....
Looking for worms in the yard.....
Found one!
Granny Stewart came from Ontario for a visit and met Toby for the first time...
Toby 'filling" the dishwasher....
Bath time! It's easier for mom to bathe the kids in the kitchen sink with a bum hand.
Grandma Con comes and we drive to Oregon for a visit!
Promise's favorite toy at Grandma and Papa's house...DORA!
A morning hug....
Getting ready for Toby's 1st Birthday party with grandma and papa! Filling the pinata!
A backyard moment in the sun....
Papa took them around and around in the wagon....nice Papa Jim!
Our baby boy is 1 year old. July 11, 2011. Precious man cub.
Cousins, Grace and Ben come for the party....
Bashing the pinata!
Go Promise, GO!
First cake with Aunt Ruth....
Help with the candle with Aunt Ruth and Uncle Andy.

The end.

2011-05-23T13:13:00.000-07:00

Enjoying a moment with raisins in the park last Friday.

Promise and I "read" stories together under the jungle gym in the park. The stories can be found on each wood chip lying on the ground. :) She picks one up and says, "Mommy, read me a story" and if I start off on one that she doesn't like, she says, "No, mommy, not THAT one! Do THIS one" and she throws the woodchip on the ground only to pick up another ordinary woodchip. Gotta love her creativity! What a joy! My precious 2 1/2 year old.
Great smile....enjoying driving the fire engine at the park.

Promise and mommy enjoying our favorite park activity....it's actually a good workout for my thighs! I love my kids.

Daddy without a BEARD! Yes, we are still getting used to this. But Toby seems to still like him a lot.
Toby's favorite bath spot.... in our new kitchen.

After 5 changes of clothes because of diarrhea and 3 baths, Toby still smiles. Gotta love those two bottom teeth! What a HAM!

Toby and Promise have become quite good friends even enjoying a swing in the hammock together without poking each other's eyes out!

Isaiah 33:6

"He will be the sure foundation for your times,
a rich store of salvation and wisdom and knowledge;
the fear of the LORD is the key to this treasure."

Oh, no matter how many times I read this, I find myself struggling with believing that He is my

SURE foundation for my current time. Perhaps He was in the past, but now? Things are so

different....my feet always feel as though they are on unsure footing....but God....You are my sure

foundation.

Thank you all for reading despite my waning post times. We are doing pretty well. The kids are

getting over the second run of antibiotics and getting used to all the Western bacteria and bugs.

So glad they are handling them with such grace! We have spent several days in and out of

pharmacies and doctor's offices, but the kids are so resilient despite.

Our home is finally finished and we have almost completely unpacked! I bought a rug for the

front door and felt a strong sense of settlement. :) I haven't bought anything like a rug for a

home in over 5 years. I guess when you buy a rug based on your wall coloring, then you have

reached the point of being a homemaker. :)

Tim is enjoying his new job and I am just starting to get used to his very long absence each day.

He often works 12+ hours, but he is progressing well and has received good reviews from his

boss and his peers.

So just a short update on us. I would appreciate some prayer. I have been struggling a lot with

regret. A lot of memories....rather, nightmares, have been coming up from our time in the

Philippines and I have been striving to give up my regrets to the Lord, but I find the process

tough and tiring. I am daily asking the Lord to soften my heart and give me the strength to

bring Him the sacrifice of praise daily.

Be blessed and thank you for praying. Pics of our home to come. :)

2011-04-30T20:19:00.000-07:00

Greetings! Time for another update, I suppose.

I have not been very good at updating this thing, eh? Life has been handing us lemons, but despite the sour lemons, we've been making some sweet lemonade. :)

Steve (my father-in-law) is on the mend post-heart attack. He is currently on the last few days of IV antibiotics and just in time, as Christina, my mother-in-law is leaving for Uganda on a Journey of Compassion with Impact Nations this coming week. We are still praying that Steve will make a speedy full recovery so he can rejoin her on their overseas adventures. In the meantime, Steve is getting some much-needed rest and time with his boys.

Speaking of which, Tim was hired for a management training position with Kal Tire this week! God is so faithful to provide. Though this job will mean extremely long hours the first year, it will yield some great career opportunities and long term growth. However, there is a negative or "lack of growth" in one area....he has to shave his face....no beard.

Now, that may seem like just a small sacrifice for a big return, but you just don't understand the ramifications of a beardless Tim. I met him over 10 years ago WITH beard. I married him WITH beard. We had two children WITH beard. There has only been one occurrence where Tim was without beard.....and it was at the request of his wife asking him to shave it to see what he would look like. Well, that went over like a lead balloon and I ended up NOT touching him until it grew back. A beardless Tim = a sad Bethany. However, I am THRILLED that he is excited about his new job. He starts Monday! Thank you all for praying.

Last weekend I left brave Tim alone with Promise and flew with Toby to Calgary for my dear friend, Serena's, wedding. I was reunited with some very dear friends from the Philippines and as one friend put it, "This was like a women's retreat!!" And so it was. We had some amazing God-talks and laughed and cried together as we relived some of the pain and joys of our time in the Phils. God was amazing and Tim survived! Although he says he will NEVER try to do Promise's hair again.

Easter was particularly meaningful this year. I have never come so face to face with all I have been forgiven of as I have this year. He was wounded for my transgressions.....oh how PRECIOUS His life, death, and resurrection. No words can express my gratefulness to Him. I am reminded of the Jeremy Riddle song, "Brought to Tears". Download it, if you are curious. Good tune. Expresses what I cannot express.

Promise got a nasty strep bug along with Pink eye....enter heavy antibiotics for her and Toby. Sigh. But thanks to Dr. Heidi Dunbar, our lack of medical care didn't matter in the least! Thanks, Heidi! She even called in our prescription! The kiddos are finally on the mend.

Then we headed to Oregon while our basement continued to be renovated. We visited my parents for 5 days and had an amazing time. It was so restful to have a few days of fellowshipping with my parents without any outside stressors. We had a brief visit with my brother, Andy and his family, too. What a blessing.

Then we headed back to Abbotsford just in time for Tim to hitch a ride with someone from our church to head to the men's retreat 3 hours away! So I am currently SANS Tim with Promise crying for daddy in her bed. Sigh. At least she hasn't woken up Toby, yet.

We love our church. Every week I find myself deeply challenged and convicted of my sin.....and equally as encouraged in the Power of our Awesome, Personal God.....more aware of His Presence and more desperate for Jesus. When I feel the walls of my sin, hurts, pain, and shame begin to close in.....threatening suffocation and crushing weight, I see my Father's yoke....the one He has fashioned for me. He says, "Bethany...I go with you....to the ends of the earth....my yoke is easy and my burden is light....release your control and yield." And I melt into a puddle of weakness and He carries me.

I am nervous about Tim going back to work....working a job 10-12 hours a day is scary enough, but I fear that he and I may drift apart. Our life already in a vulnerable spot, I fear that I may lose him altogether. I am relying heavily on the knowledge that God has our best in mind and this is where He has led us. Sigh. I am also a little nervous about having a toddler and an infant 12 hours straight everyday without a break! Time for more Bible studies with free nursery! HA!

I am praying for creative ideas for the kiddos. God will get us through another rough season.

Thank you for all your prayers. We are so grateful for them.

Be blessed.

PS. I will make Tim post some pictures when he returns....I know, I know...they are LONG overdue.

E-I, E-I....Oh.

2011-04-05T19:38:00.000-07:00

So...as many of you know, Tim has been looking for a job in the Lower Mainland. We are currently on week 3 of the job search. No bites.

Tim is somewhat downcast and after 3 weeks of applying for over 35 jobs, he is pretty exhausted. Without an income for 3 weeks now, we are beginning to weigh our options while we continue to search for a job for Tim. He has been so diligent in looking and applying, but most jobs that pay what we would need to survive only allow online applications. Mmmm. So, today he applied for Employment Insurance (EI)....welfare. And this week, we are gonna hit up the Food Bank. Never thought we would get to this place, but somehow, we both have significant peace. It is just for a season.....sure wish the season would pass sooner.

I understand how difficult it is for families who struggle to feed their growing kids and spend a good majority of the day trying to find creative ways of making every meal stretch to two or three nights of leftovers. Yesterday morning, I pureed the last of the chicken along with some sweet potatoes for Toby's baby food. Getting more creative with my recipes for him.

To be honest, I am finding it rather rewarding to work at thrifty-creativeness.

Meanwhile, Tim's job search took a short hiatus this week as yesterday morning, his dad had a mild heart attack. Though recovering extremely well in hospital, our family is processing a lot of shock, pain, and concern for him. Please keep him in your prayers. He seems almost unscathed by the experience, but it will impact his ability to travel these next few months which is of great frustration for him and Tim's mom. Their ministry and livelihood consists of sending them overseas on a monthly basis, so this is quite the change in pace. Though much needed rest is required, I have no doubt he will make a full recovery. They thrive on physical, emotional, and environmental stress. :) They seem to handle it all with the utmost strength even when at their weakest.

Regardless, Tim is spending oodles of time with his family right now, as you can imagine.

Well, I am fried to bits....it's been an emotional week. We would appreciate your prayers for Tim regarding a job and for his dad for a speedy recovery.

Be blessed.

a harsh realization...

2011-03-29T16:50:00.000-07:00

Greetings! Once again, the lack of computer has caused a lack in postings. Bear with me.

As most of you know, Tim and I have been on a media fast since the Philippines....we felt a strong call to enter a bubble in which to shelter our minds and spirits from movies, TV, magazines, and even the news. We hear updates on the world's trials through family, church and the occasional e-mail....our media input has been limited to Buzz Lightyear, Dora and Veggie Tales for the last 6 months. Gotta love living with a toddler!

To be blunt, we have thoroughly enjoyed our fast from all things media (with the exception of e-mail and skype in which to communicate with friends and family). Instead of ending our day with television, we end our day being relational with each other. We read stories with Promise and then read devotionals to each other....followed by some FABULOUS intimate times....you can fill in the blanks. :)

With the many trials we have been experiencing ourselves, we have felt it necessary to focus intently on Christ...it has been too easy to get distracted in the past. Our focal point being Philippians 4:8 -

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure,whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

We have also been trying to spend more time listening to worship music instead of our previous diet of Dave Matthews. It has challenged us enormously to moment-by-moment abide in Christ...our spirits so valuable that even a moment breathed without Christ can lead to destruction. I have come face to face with my vast need for Christ. Without Him, I am and can do nothing.

So, Tim and I watched a recommended movie last night. There was only one slight fleshy bit and mild language. Rated PG. It was a suspense thriller type...the kind Tim and I used to watch quite frequently. I watched feeling my anxiety level rising, my heart sinking and my spirit aching for sanctuary. We call this "being entertained". Whoa. I got a heart check.

I realized just how NOT READY I am to consume media as entertainment. Surrounded by a somewhat "peace" as a result of not having outside influence through TV, movies, news and such, I have been so full of joy...but my anxiety levels sky rocketed while watching this 2 hour movie and I almost started crying.

I realized what an incredible blessing it has been to starve myself of emotions brought on by pointless "entertainment"! How is it entertainment when I feel anxious about a completely fictional story? How is it enjoyable to be distracted by someone else's pain, crime or situation? What have I or "we" become as humans that we thrive on being entertained by lifestyles we cannot attain or other people's pain? I was totally humbled and completely wrecked. I am not ready to leave my protective bubble created after my world was destroyed. And I think it's okay.

Anyways, I am not judging people who DO watch for entertainment, but I know for me, I just cannot do it anymore. I didn't sleep well last night. With the world TRULY experiencing such pains as the earthquake in Japan and the recklessness of sin, how can I sit and watch it for entertainment? I am making a mockery of those whose REAL lives are so greatly affected by such humanity.

What if we all stopped watching TV and movies? Would we all be moved so deeply by people's actual lot in life that we would become more compassionate and more helpful in their plight? I dunno. Perhaps that's where I am at right now.

"Lord, break my heart for what breaks Yours. "

Be blessed.

Tearing down walls

2011-03-10T18:50:00.000-08:00

Greetings!

So we are still settling here in Abbotsford. This coming week, we will be knocking down our living room/kitchen wall to connect our bedroom to the rest of the basement suite while expanding the kitchen a bit. This is pretty exciting because this tiny kitchen is in desperate need of cupboard space and the wall coming down will help. :)

Other walls are coming down, too. Walls of miscommunication that have grown over 9 years of marriage between Tim and me are beginning to crumble. Walls of fear and insecurity are slowly coming apart, too. Tim and I are realizing just how weak and unstable our foundations have been and how hard they are tumbling down. We are so grateful we serve a God of restoration.

Speaking of restoration, we are excited for tomorrow evening. We were connected with a couple in their 80s at our church who have a ministry mentoring couples. Tomorrow night, we have the privilege of meeting with them while my dear friend, Arnica, babysits. I cannot begin to tell you what an incredible blessing it is that they are willing to meet us and how amazing it is that God even provided Arnica to watch our kids.

We had a interesting week regarding restoration. One of our dearest friends, whom you have read about on here, I am sure, came all the way from Ontario via New Zealand to visit us. Aunt Sylvia, of the famous Uncle Bob and Aunt Sylvia, stayed with us for a few days just to BE with us. Her presence was deep deep refreshment for our spirits.

This was the first time we had seen her since the death of Uncle Bob, so it was a time to share each other's grief, but also share the wonderful memories we had together. You see, Uncle Bob and Aunt Sylvia were our precious mentors, but even more than mentors, they were our spiritual parents....our dearest friends. Uncle Bob passed away suddenly when we were in the Philippines, and I can honestly say, his absence has been incredibly painful.

However, having Aunt Sylvia here seemed so comfortable....even without her other half, she was whole. And she wholly devoted herself to blessing us. She held the kids while I got work done around the house, she helped with chores, she did laundry, cooked, played cards, made espresso and encouraged us. She walked through our house with us praying over each room for the Holy Spirit to take over and cried with me as I shared Tim and my current journey. We had an amazing time of dedicating our new home to Jesus. I needed that time with her. God knew that and I am so grateful she came.

Sorry this post is so scattered, I am busy listening to my tantrumming Promise in the bath tub and Tim trying to explain to her that it's almost time to get out of the tub and stop playing "hi-one" (basically playing dolls with Little People). I love my family.

Promise continues to astound me. Though she has reached the TERRIBLE part of the 'terrible twos', she is so very smart and creative. Her giggles and silly songs make every tantrum worth it. While I cannot seem to get her to eat anything but cheese, yogurt, bread, pesto pasta and chicken nuggets, she LOVES to cook and help with all the daily chores.....though I have to follow behind her cleaning up her cleaning. :)

She often talks of Jesus and believes with all her heart that He lives inside of her. She talks to him everyday. We also do a Bible study together that she gets from her children's church every Sunday. She asks if we can go to church almost every morning. I love that she is loving Jesus. She even thought the furniture delivery guy with the long curly hair and dark beard was Jesus and was so very excited he had come to bring Grandma Christina a table. :)

Toby just cut his first tooth and still explodes from his southern orifice greater than anything I have ever known (this coming from a midwife!). He loves to wrestle and is already fitting into 12-18 month clothing at just 8 months. He is so cuddly and sweet. He is saying "Da-Da" lots now and has learned to fart with his lips, which he is so very proud of. While he still cannot crawl, he is RUNNING after Promise in his mind.....his eyes are always following her and you can see he is just itching to get up!

I guess I should stop writing now. Anybody reading this anyways?

So that's what God has been up to the last two weeks in the Stewart home in Abbotsford.

We are clinging to Haggai 2:6-9....the passage God has given us for this season at home.

Be blessed. I will make sure there are pictures in the next post.

Newsletter and news

2011-03-01T20:34:00.001-08:00

Sorry about the last post....or lack thereof. It was supposed to tell you that we were moving, but my computer broke and because Tim takes his to work everyday, I have to quickly check e-mail and blog on Tim's iPad before Promise gets wind of it. However, the iPad doesn't do blogger. Sadness. So all you got was a title. Sorry.

So I am currently writing on Tim's computer....in our new home in Abbotsford. :) Our basement suite has quickly transformed from an empty 3 bedroom 1.5 bath stranger's place to a homey, busy, and bright toddler land....complete with a very happy Promise and a giddy Toby. They love their new home....as do I. It's the perfect size for us and with upcoming renovations to the kitchen, it will be quite nice.

While the transition has been tough, we're excited for the future here in Abbotsford. I met with the women's pastor from our new church today and she seems very eager to connect me with a mentor and get me involved in the women's groups. I am so excited to see how the Lord provides community here.

Tim wrote a brief newsletter to play a bit of catch up....Complete with pics from our new home.

Here it is:

Bethany and I returned to Canada near the end of 2010 after having spent three and a half years in the Philippines. During those years we gained a deeper understanding of God's grace than we could have ever imagined. As I look back at our time in the Philippines, I am astonished by what the Lord accomplished through us. It is so humbling to see how He can use us despite our weaknesses.

When we arrived in the Philippines in July of 2007, Bethany had never delivered a baby, I had never seen a water filter, and we were without children. By the time we left, Bethany had delivered 80 babies and was a registered midwife, we had seen the distribution of 4000 filters, and we were the proud parents of two beautiful children, Promise and Toby.

God is so good. And my wife is amazing.

We have withstood the reverse culture shock that returning missionaries face, and have begun to re-prioritize our lives. This will be a season for building up our family and seeking the Lord for restoration and refreshment.

We have just moved to Abbotsford and are living in the basement suite of my parent’s new home. After living on the other side of the world, we are looking forward to being close to family. Promise and Toby will be near all of their Stewart cousins and of course their grandparents will be just upstairs.

The move to Abbotsford has led us to search for a new church. For the last seven years our home/sending church has been Life Center Community Church in Vancouver, and while we will forever feel at home there, we will simply be too far away to attend regularly. We feel very strongly like the Lord has directed us to Northview Community Church in Abbotsford. We look forward to getting plugged in to their various programs for children and adults.

God’s provision never ceases to amaze me. Shortly before we left the Philippines, our water project was adopted by a Vancouver organization called WOW Ventures. They have committed to assisting us as we attempt to develop a sustainable business model. At the beginning of January, WOW sent Daniel Anggara to Davao to take my place as the new CEO of Impact Nations Philippines Inc.

In partnership with WOW Ventures, I will continue my work with Impact Nations through to the end of May. I continue to serve the water filter business in the Philippines as a technical advisor and sales consultant. I’m also working to raise awareness for clean water initiatives and other Impact Nations projects.

Bethany is looking forward to a season of home building. She will spend time with the kids and set up our new home, making it a space we can call our own. She is currently looking for ways to keep her midwifery skills sharp so that she is ready to serve the poor in the developing world when the time comes.

Promise and Toby are doing great and have adjusted well to life in Canada. Promise is now two-and-a-half and loves to spend time with her cousins. She is also really enjoying the Sunday school program at the new church. At seven months, Toby is a big healthy boy who lights up any time his mother walks into the room.

Many have asked us how long we will be in Canada and whether we will one day return to a less developed country. We can honestly say that we have no idea what the Lord has in store for us. We do know that we will follow Him to the ends of the earth, but we believe we are right where He wants us right now.

Let me conclude by saying thank you. We have had an incredible team of supporters throughout the last several years. I don’t know how we could have done it without you. I cannot express how much we have appreciated your prayers and continued financial support.

If you have been giving on an ongoing basis and would like to continue, your gifts are certainly welcome. As mentioned, Impact Nations continues to pay me a salary for the work that I am currently doing, both on the Philippines water and other projects. Your gifts make a big difference. Alternatively, you may wish to contribute to a specific project that Impact Nations is spearheading.

We would love to hear from you. The best way to reach us is either by email or by phone. We look forward to catching up with you soon.

In His Service,

Tim & Bethany Stewart

Moving forward!

2011-02-21T15:02:00.000-08:00

A day of pondering....

2011-02-14T13:51:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentine's Day. Tim and I went out last Wednesday for our "date" while his brother and his brother's future wife watched the kiddos. What a blessing. Tim gave me an incredible Valentine's present. A journal....that HE writes in...to ME! Just about everyday, I can find a short note written to me in his handwriting. :) A blessing considering he will make a shopping list on his iPad instead of on a piece of scratch paper!

Thank you, Tim.

Today has been a rough day.

I was just writing the women's ministry director of our new church to ask her how to connect with a mentor and some discipleship and came face to face with my loneliness.

I have friends. But I need a mentor....a woman strong in the faith to kick my bum when self-pity and anger pop up...I need someone to sit and listen to me cry when I feel as though God isn't enough....even when I know He IS!

After tearfully writing her an introductory e-mail, I was reminded of some friends' blogs who are currently serving at Mercy in the Philippines and decided to "quickly" check in on them since I no longer facebook. Perhaps this wasn't a very good idea.

As I read about their delivering babies and ministering to the women, how Mercy just celebrated their 15th year anniversary with their 17,000th baby, how each one is struck by the compassion of a merciful God, I began to weep.

I cannot begin to describe how I am feeling....a deep sense of loss perhaps? Missing making a positive contribution to the Kingdom? I should be clear....I do not miss the Philippines....I miss some dear friends there, but even moreso, I miss serving women in need.....and now I AM THAT woman in need. I am struggling to be okay with that. "To every season...."

While I struggle with hating the last 3 years of my life, I am struck by God's mercy through those 3 years. The power of God and the miraculous were part of everyday life. And they still are, though I find Him more difficult to see. He is here.

At this time last year, I was pregnant with my precious son, Toby and had taken Promise with me on a long flight to Oregon to take my midwifery certification exam. That was a rough month. I wish the Lord would wipe away the memories of the last 3 years so that there would be no pain. However, there would also be no memory of the joys of the last 3 years....the birth of my Promise....and my Toby. Mmmm. I thank the Lord for them daily.

Just some blue thoughts on this grey day.

Affliction.

2011-02-09T13:10:00.000-08:00

"Do not recoil from afflictions, since they are among My most favored gifts."

I read that early this morning in my devotional "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young (though most of the writings are really Jesus speaking and Ms. Young just writes it down with Scripture to solidify it all).

I had the picture of a snake getting ready to strike, but then "recoiling" quickly after being threatened with a big, fat bat to the head. Yeah, that sounds like my response to afflictions at times! Could they be one of Jesus' "most favored gifts"? You have got to be kidding! This Jesus..full of love, mercy, grace, joy....giving us a GIFT of AFFLICTION!? What is He ON!?

I am reminded of the passage from Luke 22:

³¹ “Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift all of you as wheat. ³² But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.”

³³ But he replied, “Lord, I am ready to go with you to prison and to death.”

³⁴ Jesus answered, “I tell you, Peter, before the rooster crows today, you will deny three times that you know me.”

What is affliction? Dictionary.com says it's 1:a state of pain, distress, or grief; misery: They sympathized with us in our affliction.

2.a cause of mental or bodily pain, as sickness, loss, calamity,or persecution.

Sometimes affliction comes as a result of sin....consequences and such. Sometimes affliction comes as a result of what Luke 22 is saying....Satan asked to sift us like wheat, God gives permission and Jesus is interceding on our behalf during the process. A gift?

The gift part of it all must come when His strength and glory are shone through our weakness in that affliction....for how can their be reconciliation without division, forgiveness without sin, grace without wrongdoing, joy without sorrow, a show of strength without weakness? You get the point....the gift part is the amazing opposite of affliction that can only come after affliction. Mmm. And in affliction, Jesus is interceding for us so that instead of that affliction causing us to run from the faith or die or whatever our temptation may be in order to cope, we will be STRENGTHENED in the faith so that we can encourage and strengthen our "brothers" to endure affliction as well. In the end, we will enjoy pure freedom and joy, peace, and His Presence more fully than before....appreciate His Presence more than before.

His favor is all over affliction.

I feel conflicted and convicted in my affliction. "Lord, thank you for my current afflictions because I know that You are working within them to reveal Your glory and precious gifts in me...may they draw me closer to You."

Ugh....

Be blessed.

Dying to self.

2011-01-31T13:23:00.000-08:00

Enjoying the cold in the West. Promise's new favorite activity....SWINGING!
Toby learning what it means to be COLD!
Our very last few moments in the Philippines with our dear friends Toti and Connie Ambulo. We miss them.

Greetings!

Today I am closing my facebook account. It seems weird to do that, but I feel as though it is one more step I am choosing to make to create a bubble of safety around myself and my family.

I have been reading several books these days on God's desire for intimacy with me. I am at risk of becoming a "spiritual nut-job" as a result and to be perfectly honest, I am happy about that.

As I struggle to find some peace and sanctuary from the painful memories and anguish of the last couple years, I am struck by 2 Corinthians 4. Read it here .

Especially verse 17: "For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

Basically it's saying, once again, that this life is merely a blip on the radar....we are a blink of an eye....a vapor....a moment compared to eternity. To the sovereign God, our life span is just a snap of the fingers....To the God who created the entire universe with a spoken word, my life here on earth is a glance....my troubles, momentary.

While I am precious and of great value to my Maker, who gave His very own Son, Jesus, to reunite me with Himself, my life here on earth is simply the "rehearsal" for my life in eternity. With this thought in mind, my daily struggles with anguish, pain, and hurt are, too, a blink of an eye. When I feel as though I "don't deserve this" or the pain feels as though it will never end or if I feel as though I "need" to end it all, I am challenged to see it through this perspective: "Can I suffer for a moment in time? Can I feel pain and anguish for a blink of an eye? Can I be obedient to God for a vapor if it means spending an eternity in glory with my Maker?"

Abso-flogging-lutely!

I love the song "Brought to Tears" by Jeremy Riddle.

The chorus goes like this:

"When I think of all You've done for me:

Taking Your majesty and wearing humanity.

Giving Your life for me, changing my destiny.

I am brought to tears."

I, too, am brought to tears when I think that for thousands of years, humanity has been sinning, living for "himself", selfishly hurting those around "him", but most of all, grieving God and yet, Jesus underwent the greatest suffering, enduring every awful deed of every created being for all of history just so every generation, every person's "blink-of-an-eye-life" can have the opportunity of spending an ETERNITY with Him in His beauty and glory. What grace! I can endure injustice, suffering and emotional turmoil for this moment knowing that Jesus paid for it all and my eternal destiny is secure. Mmmm. 2 Corinthians 4 gives me license to be a spiritual nut-job, too...for I am living for what is unseen....ha ha ha! Tell THAT to your therapist and see what they say! CUCKOO! Love it.

That's what I am grappling with these days as I process my hiccup of a life. Be all glory to Jesus. Amen.

Be blessed.

Entering a new season. Leaving an extended winter.

2011-01-27T12:42:00.000-08:00

I am always astounded by the desolation of the winter months here in Canada. While in the Philippines, there was very little to differentiate winter months from summer months except for the Christmas carols being played in groceries stores in the "ber" or Brrr months, here in Canada, the shocking reality of winter is clear.

The past 4 months have been the most difficult months of our lives....an extended winter....one full of the bitter, bone-chilling cold emotionally, relationally, maritally, and spiritually. As so many of you know, Tim and I have been going through our greatest hell in the past 2 years and we are now beginning to see the hope of spring.

Without going into detail, Tim and I have made a very drastic life-change in order to seek the Lord more fervently with every piece of our being. We are now entering a season of rejuvenation, healing, and restructuring. We have cut out most forms of media (TV, movies, news and the like), are seeing a counselor bi-weekly, and have found a home church where we will be getting fed, keep accountable and get discipled.

We still know without a doubt that we are called overseas once again to serve the poor....but not in the very broken state that we are in. We seek to be whole and wholly devoted to each other and the Lord before entering into full-time service once again.

So that leads me to where we are currently.

We finally are moving into our "own" home the end of February. We will be moving into a basement suite below Tim's parents in Abbotsford where Tim's family is located and where we have found a church. Tim is working partially with Impact Nations being their "water guy" while fundraising for the Philippines. He is also a sort of tech guy for another company called WOW Ventures. Feel free to google them! They're great.

I have the privilege of staying home with the kids and packing boxes for my in-laws' so that we all can move to Abbotsford together. :) (they are in India until 2 days before we move!)

I am looking forward to having a place of sanctuary to begin to raise Toby and Promise in a more stable environment.

As some of you know, I am leaving facebook and would like to keep tabs on people more personally via e-mail. Feel free to e-mail! (bagpipegoo@yahoo.ca)

I will try to update this blog more regularly now that life is looking a little more manageable. I will also try to be a bit more transparent regarding our life's journey in the future.

Thank you for reading and praying for us. God is faithful and I am so grateful for His unfailing love, acceptance, mercy and grace.

Be blessed.

Clinging to the cross....

2010-10-12T03:22:00.000-07:00

Greetings. Sorry for the long delay in posts. Our family has hit a very rough spot and we are currently unable to blog. Unfortunately, it will be a very long time until our next blog, so I will try to sum up the next couple of months for us.

We leave the Philippines November 11th and head back to Vancouver. We will be staying with family until either Tim's parents' house sells and we can move into a larger home with them, or God provides us with a place of our own. The last 3 years have proved to be the hardest in our lives, but they have also been the greatest testimony of God's mercy over us.

We are currently trying to put our Filipino lives together to immerse ourselves into being Canadians again. We could really use your prayers right now.

Among the stressors are just the sheer thought of moving across an ocean, living with family in a small space until we find a place to live, having to ship our belongings home, culture shock for the kids, buying winter clothes and other necessities on a Filipino budget, and some other very difficult circumstances. Please pray for our protection as a family, as we have been hit with some serious spiritual attack. Please pray for God's gracious provision and for peace.

Thank you all for reading these last 3 years and for your prayers, financial support, and encouragement. We are so very grateful and look forward to connecting with many of you in the near future.

Be blessed.

Teething, Tantrums, and Two

2010-09-16T06:58:00.001-07:00

Greetings! Bethany here. I have been incredibly thankful for Tim's postings. I miss reading his updates even though I share a room with him and get updated quite frequently. :)

I am currently sitting on the bed next to Toby who has just graced me with a giant snot bubble and a mound of fresh spit up while listening to Promise cry on the baby monitor because she has just woken up from her nap.... *sigh*.

Toby is now two months old and what a handsome little man he is! Though fighting a bit of a sinus infection (I have to give him saline drops twice daily and then suction all that green mucous out...eww), he smiles every time I enter the room and looks expectantly for his loud and silly older sister. He is so precious. His personality is starting to show, too. He hates being alone....even when asleep! He knows when I leave the room and will immediately show his displeasure by letting out a quick shrill cry. Thinking he has hurt himself, I race in there only to see him smiling because he got my attention. As long as I am holding him, he is content....however, with him growing well passed 14 pounds now, my hips are crying out to put him down! He is already out of his 3 month clothing and we have had to change to medium size diapers because the amount of excretion surpasses that of most grown adults. We are blessed....hourly. I love having a boy!!

Promise is growing just as fast sporting new words and sentences daily. She is a hoot and I am ever surprised at what she picks up. She discovered her daddy's real name a bit ago and has tried, "Hey, Tim!" and "Where'd Tim go, mommy?" We have to keep reminding her that his name is "daddy". :)

She is super independent and yet, has entered a "hold you" stage...that is, every couple of minutes she asks, "I hold you? I hold you?" meaning, "Will you hold me?" Usually it is in response to teething pain or anxiety, of which there has been a bit these days. Our current living situation has not been conducive to a transitioning 2 year-old. Between the dogs and constant change over of visitors and strangers in the house, Promise prefers to play in our bedroom. Living in community has been tough on her, though Tim and I have enjoyed meeting and getting to know so many new people. When we return to Canada, our home will certainly be less full.

Speaking of which, we are planning to head home November 15 and will be living in Abbotsford, BC. The Lord has gone before us and we have the privilege of living in a basement suite below Tim's parents. The set-up will be a huge blessing for us! A place of sanctuary and rest, home base for the kids and close to family....all the reasons we desire to head home. We look forward to our first Thanksgiving and Christmas at home with our families. God is faithful. We have even had friends and family collecting furniture, winter clothes, and the like for us so we can set up house! We are still in need of a car, as Tim will have a bit of a commute to work (more on that later).

We plan to be there for at least 6 months, but are certain we will head out overseas once again to develop more water projects and serve in midwifery. I will let Tim share with you what his work plans are when we return to Canada. They are pretty cool. I, too, may need to work a bit, perhaps teaching prenatal courses. We are not sure what I will have time to do other than hang with my precious ones...which I must say, is a full time job!

I have been spending most days trying to prepare for heading back to Canada...it's amazing how much paperwork and "stuff" gets picked up after 3 years overseas! I have also been trying to secure Promise in her surroundings.....we threw her a Birthday party the end of August with as many familiar faces as possible including her favorite babysitters and playmates. She LOVED having friends over and since then, every time the gate squeaks, she announces, "Friends are here!" even when they are not visitors for us, but for the other tenants in the house. ;) I am also trying to set up a daily routine with the two kids that will easily be transplanted back to Canada....I must say, having TWO small children is quite the challenge. I knew it would be tough and I am amazed at how resilient my aching, overtired body is! Our routine for both kiddos seems to be feed, bathe, change, feed, rock, change, feed, etc. until bathe, put down to sleep and try to sleep. Pretty normal, eh? :)

Tim has been an incredible support, too....we are both in love with our kiddos, but gosh, two screaming children with incessant barking dogs, yapping puppies, and a busy household can really wear on us. This too, shall pass.

In all honesty, I am still struggling to find my "place" in 'our' calling....The Lord sent me to university to get a teaching degree -- check! Then He sent me to the Philippines for a midwifery degree -- check! He has us wait 6+ years before having kids and then SURPRISE right in the middle of what we thought was the "start" of our overseas ministry....now what? Tim is sure of his calling and passion....and mine seems to change yearly. :) While I am not bitter or at all disappointed in this, I am confused as to when these degrees will be used. Guess that's something for the Lord to figure out and let me know later. I love being a mom, but I still feel that PULL to do what I have spent countless hours, tons of money, and moved halfway across the world to do....if my calling is to stay at home with my kids full time, then I really want to do it with my family nearby....if the Lord wants me to both raise a family and divide my time with midwifery or teaching, then I want to be overseas serving. I dunno...I miss working at the clinic here and I miss seeing my peers minister there, too. God gives me situations here and there to help out and advise patients and peers here in midwifery, but it is not quite the same as working along side them.

I think Tim and I are in a funny stage of life.

Please keep us in your prayers as we continue to prepare for moving...again. :) Please pray that the Lord will protect our health, too, as both Toby and Tim have been fighting colds on and off. Please pray that the Lord will go before us and prepare a home for us that will bring Him glory and us joy. :) Please pray for our finances, as it will be a very difficult adjustment living in the West. Thank you for all of your support, encouragement and prayers. We are so blessed to be partnering with so many of you.....so glad to have family reading.

We will try to update the blog more frequently now that some of the dust is settling. :)

Be blessed.

In The News

2010-09-10T05:04:00.000-07:00

Did you know that we have produced over 4000 BioSand Water Filters since we began in February 2008? That's a lot of clean water! We couldn't have done it on our own. The Lord has provided us with some great partners who have helped us distribute these filters in over 20 provinces.

These days, I am working very hard at looking to the future, setting a course for 2011. This week, however, I had occasion to look back into our past and gain some perspective.

I mentioned that Toti and I began working together in February of 2008. While he was busy building some of his first filters, I was out on a crazy adventure with some friends. We were part of a team performing a small medical clinic in a very remote village called Newtawas, located on the Davao river, on the wrong side of a distant mountain range. The hike nearly killed me.

When we arrived in Newtawas, we learned that they had just buried two people in their village who had died from water-related diseases. In fact, they reported that several people died each year due to the unsafe water. They had no choice but to drink from the very contaminated river, the effects of which were obvious. I returned to Davao and Toti and I immediately began plans to provide them with some water filters.

Did I mention that the village was on the wrong side of a distant mountain? Have I mentioned

that our filters weigh roughly 150lbs? These desperate people found a way to bring two filters over two mountains in two days. They first strapped them to a horse (oh, how I interceded for that animal!) and when the path became narrow and steep they carried the filter by hand. These people clearly understood their need.

We were glad to get the news a few days later that the filters made it to Newtawas in one piece. Our very first partners arrived in the village a few days later to install them. We distributed a few more filters in the area that month and then our attention shifted to other provinces.

Why am I telling you this outdated story? Well, last week we were reminded of our first great adventure. One of the national television networks, GMA, did a story on the evening news about these crazy BioSand Water Filters in this little place called Newtawas. GMA has a foundation that does community service projects, and they happened to be doing a medical clinic in Newtawas when they saw the filter in use.

A reporter decided to learn more about the filter and did a story on the evening news. The villagers reported that their health had improved immediately after the filter's arrival and they hadn't had any problems since! They marveled at its ability to proved safe drinking water day after day, year after year. They called on local politicians to bring in more of the filters for the entire region so that everyone could benefit from this powerful technology.

GMA's foundation has inquired about partnering with Impact Nations to help bring more filters to Newtawas and the surrounding area. We'll let you know as that develops in the coming months. We are also trying to track down a copy of the news story and will post the video here if we can find it.

I am left to reflect on the grace of God and the power of partnership. Together with a number of participants, we rescued lives. We partnered with donors in North America who provided the funds to build the filters. We partnered with another local missionary couple who provided the land on which to build the filters. We delivered the filters to the drop point using a truck that was donated by a church in Connecticut. The filters were carried over two mountains by people who were determined to be a part of the solution, and installed by compassionate people who saw the need and purposed in their heart to meet it.

The really cool thing is that these sort of stories are happening all the time, and we won't even hear about most of them. As I said, we now have over 4000 filters spread throughout more than 20 provinces. We can't keep track of each circumstance, and sometimes we get so caught up in the big picture that we forget what it is all about. We are rescuing lives. And when you stop to think about it, we have been blessed with an incredible privilege and an awesome responsibility.

Cheers,

Tim.

90 Days To Go

2010-08-17T08:03:00.001-07:00

Hi, my name is Tim. You may remember me. I'm the dude with the red beard who used to hang around these parts. I'm related by marriage to the lovely lady that you are accustomed to hearing from. I have cute kids. I'm sorry I've not written on the blog much in the last few months. I could give you excuses, but I haven't got the time (you see what I did there?).

I realized today that we have exactly 90 days left in this country. We are scheduled to leave the Philippines on November 15th. It got me thinking a little bit about all that we have experienced since we arrived in Davao City more than three years ago, but mostly I was left fretting about all that needs to be done before we leave. With your permission, I'd like to get you caught up on what I've been up to and how I plan to spend my last 90 days.

We had dinner with some old friends tonight, and I was asked how often I get to go to the mountains to distribute the BioSand Water Filter. I explained the gradual shift from being the wild guy with the Grizzly Adams beard (don't click this link) who would wander around the countryside looking for dirty water, to the super focused business/sales guy that I am today. That's a pretty big shift in two and a half years, especially when you consider the fact that I still have essentially the same goals, with the exact same product.

My feelings about the BioSand Water Filter haven't changed. I still believe it to be an incredibly powerful tool for bringing safe drinking water to families in need. It also opens all sorts of doors for sharing the gospel, not to mention that fact that it can serve as a powerful demonstration of the gospel all by itself (Matt 25:35).

My approach to the BioSand Water Filter, however, has changed dramatically over the years. I have learned the hard way, time after time, how not to distribute the filter. I have felt pride at my accomplishments one day, only to come crashing down to earth the next as I learned of colossal failure. Without boring you with specifics, I will tell you that our greatest mistake was failing to maintain control over our distribution system. We had some great organizations and individuals who were helping us to install filters all over Mindanao. We became so focused on manufacturing quality filters and getting people excited about them, but I wasn't following up with our partners to be sure that we had a sustainable plan in place. We were all having fun blessing people with safe water, but it was total chaos.

It's funny how a deadline will sharpen your mind. As a student I used to leave my large assignments until the last minute. When the night before the due date arrived, I suddenly found myself able to focus. I have since matured and the Lord has helped me in my battle against procrastination, but the principle still applies. When it became clear that Bethany and I would be leaving the Philippines at the end of this year, I had the deadline I needed. In the time since that decision was made, Toti and I have been working like crazy to put systems in place to bring order to the chaos that I had created.

In recent weeks I have been working with Grayson Bain, the chairman of the Impact Nations International Ministries' board, and his right-hand man, Daniel Anggara, to put together a short-term and long-term plan for Impact Nations Philippines. The two of them have done a masterful job of helping me get our books in order so that we can better plan on where to go next. Now that we have a pretty good grasp of our financial situation, we can focus on the other factors. I have my regular weekly meeting with them in a few hours, so I'll need to get to bed soon.

I should mention that Impact Nations Philippines, Inc. has been financially self-sustained for some time now. We sell filters to government agencies and NGOs, and then reinvest our profits in order to increase our infrastructure and influence. We now have two manufacturing facilities on opposite sides of the country and two large flatbed trucks delivering as many as 70 filters at a time.

In addition to my work with Grayson and Daniel, I have been working hard on creating a consistent marketing message and strategy that can be employed by our team of distributors. We have individuals and organizations serving as authorized distributors of the BioSand Water Filter. They now have the marketing tools and the training needed to go out into their communities and promote this technology. Creating these tools was a great deal of hard work, but I believe it will lead to considerable success. We hope to create employment (distributors can earn a handsome wage and hire an installation team) and increase our market while maintaining quality control throughout each step in the distribution process. We will also have a much better ability to assess which strategies are working and which ones are in need of alteration.

If you would like to get a feel for what all this looks like, I encourage you to check out our new website. It should give you a bit of an understanding of our approach and our commitment to quality control, ensuring that each recipient of the BioSand Water Filter understands its import, use, and maintenance.

So, those are some of the things that I've been working on lately. My hours have been long and I don't get to the mountains anymore, but I am chasing a dream. I want so badly to see a network of distributors bringing a lifetime supply of safe drinking water to families all over this country. I so desperately desire to see my dear friend Toti take up the torch and carry this organization to bigger and better things. The Lord has been so gracious with us as we have stumbled in the dark. Toti and I believe that He has great things in store for us in the coming years.

Cheers,

Tim.

Update and Birth story....

2010-07-24T00:31:00.001-07:00

Greetings! Sorry for the delay in posting...we have been spending the last few days catching our breaths. :) What a whirlwind it has been! However, things are going very well and God has shown Himself to be merciful, faithful and good.

Just a quick update before telling the "birth story" (midwives love that stuff)....

Toby had 7 days of antibiotics - 3 days intravenously and 4 days intramuscularly receiving 3 injections in his thigh per day (not an adventure I want to ever repeat).

By day 5 of the antibiotics, Toby's jaundice was beginning to subside with morning sunlight treatment and his activity level and awake, alert times were increasing. :) He gained a bit of weight taking him back up to his birth weight and managed to breastfeed 2 times per day without trouble (I had to pump the rest of the day and feed him by bottle).

Today, now two weeks old, Toby has passed his birth weight (PRAISE THE LORD!), is looking more and more like a little man, is having normal bowel movements (AND FREQUENT, TOO! No "fairy farts" and "angel burps" for THIS kid! He is ALL BOY!), is becoming a bit playful, smiling, cooing and seems like a completely different baby! The doc said that he believes Toby is out of the danger zone, though we were advised to be monitor him carefully over the next few months to make sure there are no side effects to his infection.

He sleeps well and only cries when he is overtired, falling quickly asleep at the breast....and not necessarily eating. Grr. He quietly wakes every 3 hours to feed...but doesn't cry...just grunts and squeaks....how nice of him.

Promise is still adjusting, but has stopped trying to steal his clothing and toys. She is still very clingy and high maintenance, fearing Toby has taken our affection, but she now pokes him and will kiss him on the cheek when prompted. She even pokes his nose saying, "Cute Baby Tobes".

Gramma Con (my mom) is coming to Davao this Tuesday (!!!) and Promise and I are sooo very thankful for the company, Tim is thankful for the help (he needs to work!) and Toby is thankful that his mommy will enjoy peaceful conversation over coffee with her mom. :)

Sooo...now for the "birth story" for those of you who like that kind of stuff. For those of you who can't handle reading about blood and private parts, stop reading now. :)

So...as many of you knew, we had tried to naturally induce labor as a result of my excruciating hip pain. After trying evening primrose oil, stripping the membranes, exercise, "contact" (sex), blue and black cohosh, and red raspberry, my midwife and friend, Bea and I decided that enough was enough....nothing was working and we were both very tired. At 39 weeks, I was exhausted, Tim was fried, and Promise was getting more and more annoyed with my decreasing ability to play with her. Then we got the flu.

The flu sent all three of us into a tailspin, giving me very painful contractions and hip pain without any cervical dilation...I THOUGHT I was in labor, but then the contractions just stopped. Grr.

A few days passed and my other midwife, Erin, came over to take me on a fast walk....I had mentioned to her that when I was active, the contractions would come every 2 minutes, but as soon as I would enter air con or sit, they would just stop. Erin and I walked briskly with Promise, Tim, and Erin's sister, Colleen, in tow with my contractions coming every 2 minutes...strong...when we got back to the house..yeah, you guessed it...they stopped. Erin and I discussed my need to just get this little man out or get a good night sleep. After talking to Bea, we decided that I needed to drink a beer and get some sleep. We would try inducing with stripping the membranes and walking again tomorrow.

Beer was had and I fell right to sleep....until 2 am when I woke up with strong contractions every 4 minutes putting intense pressure on my hips and cervix. YEAH!!! I definitely felt like I had reached true, early labor. Thankfully, I was able to stay lying down and rest through the contractions. Upon waking and showering, the contractions slowed a bit, but I felt as though perhaps they had done some good. Bea came over at 10 am to check things out while Tim took Promise to church...I had told her about my night, but I that I didn't think anything had progressed....she did an internal exam....4 cm dilated!!! WAHOO! We both cried....we had started labor.

She stripped the membranes for a long time and when I got up, my contractions nearly knocked me over! YEAH!!! We were both excited....we knew today was the day...Toby was coming and we were ready. We decided to make pancakes with chocolate chips and walnuts and visit....except my water broke as soon as I sat down to eat...it was a high break causing just a little fluid to come out....Bea and I prayed, checked Toby's heart tones and the color of the fluid and headed to the air con bed room to eat, labor and wait for Tim to come home. We also texted Erin and An-An so that they would be ready when Bea and I decided baby was coming. Erin was to assist Bea while An-An was to assist Promise. :)

Labor pains increased significantly after my water broke, which is totally normal, except my hips started to seize making the pain very different than the labor pain I remembered with Promise. The pain was so intense that I thought I was dilating much faster than I truly was. Bea was busy squeezing my hips together and reminding me to eat my pancakes here and there between contractions. We totally enjoyed our time together....we talked with our dear friend Sherry Gregory (remember her from previous posts?), Heidi and Kate, and my parents breathing through contractions and trying to shoot the breeze in between. Fluid came out periodically, but no bloody show or anything else. Early labor.

Then things got more intense....Tim came home and Erin came shortly thereafter to find me not coping as well as I once was. Tim put Promise down for a much-needed nap and Erin and Bea began checking heart tones again. An-An came just in case Promise woke up from her nap wondering what all the grunting and heavy breathing was coming from. :)

Promise slept from 1 pm to 4 pm (a record for her for sure!) and during her sleeping hours, I progressed from 4 cm to 6 cm...we knew this because I was in excruciating pain desperately desiring to push or bear down....Bea did an internal exam and broke the bad news, "Bethany, you can't push, you need to only breathe." I think at this point, I said a naughty word and eagerly rose to my feet to try and cope with the next contraction...this was where Tim, Erin and Bea were needed to help me cope. The pain came like a HUGE, angry 10-wheeler barreling down on my hips....I screamed bearing down a bit and needing to bite something. Yup, it's true. I wanted to displace the pain, so I bit myself in the arm! Ha ha ha...Erin, Tim and Bea bursted into laughter....

Then there were the contractions that made me cry out "TCHOO-TCHOO!" and "I REALLY can't do this anymore!" and "BEA, JUST GET THE BABY OUT!" and "TOBY! COME OUT IN JESUS' NAME!!!" Followed by a series of giggles. I nearly bit Tim twice, nearly broke Bea's hand off and chewed out Erin for telling me to breathe one million much-needed times. Contractions came faster leaving no time for adequate breathing and Tim's strength became the only thing I could physically feel holding me up. It was at this point that I literally felt abandoned by God.

Now, I know He was there the entire time, but I distinctly recall Him being tangibly, emotionally and graciously present when I labored with Promise. So much so, that I sang hymns and thanked God for the contractions....this labor was totally different. I felt no peace, no grace, no mercy, and though I know in my heart He was there, I honestly felt abandoned....on my own...though we prayed, I felt no emotional relief, no spiritual encouragement, no strength or power outside of myself to continue. It was the most difficult place I have ever been in...I felt so strange ....I felt like Tim was it...His strength was all I felt.

An-An hung out with Promise outside the bedroom and managed to keep her totally content. :) I love An-An.

Around 4 ish, after copious position changes and coping attempts, Erin suggested I head into the bathroom for a warm shower. Erin, Bea and Tim followed me in the tub, an enclosed space about 4 feet by 6 feet...and me thrashing about in the hot shower spray. I was still wearing my "duster" (dress) squatting with each contraction held up by Tim and Erin on the edge of the tub while Bea coached me to breathe.....

Then it came...the BURN....then, the BLOOD...then I said, "TOBY IS COMING!!!!!" Bea maneuvered the tight space to get a good look at my pwerta..."HEAD VISIBLE!"

We managed to turn me around so that I was in supported squat held by Tim, Bea was at Toby's head, and Erin donned gloves checking heart tones and getting towels prepared. We laughed and cried as we knew this labor nightmare was almost over.

I pushed through only 2 or 3 contractions moving Toby to 4-5 cm head visible...more BURN! I could feel my body gently pushing without me...stretching further and further...

Bea coached me to breathe Toby out little by little....we met eyes and I touched Toby's head...Erin was encouraging me that it was almost there while Tim leaned over my shoulder to see Toby's squished skull between my legs. Poor kid!

Erin was unable to find heart tones during the 20 minutes it took to get Toby's head out....he was just so deep in my pelvis. As his head came out, I felt some relief, but another contractions barreled down on my lower abdomen making pushing so hard seizing my hips, too. I could hear Bea call out, "Body wrap"...the umbilical cord was around Toby's body, though not around is neck...his purple body came out with a gush of fluid and blood....he was purple. No cry. Limp. Instinctively, Bea and Erin placed him on my naked abdomen and chest stimulating him to breathe....nothing. He had passed terminal meconium, so we were covered in the thick, sticky, black goo. Good thing we were in the tub!

It was then that Erin jumped out of the tub grabbing the stethoscope and locking eyes with Bea and myself. We all knew the severity of the situation. Toby was in trouble. His first Apgar score was 2 and his second, at 5 minutes after birth was 3. I started to call out to Toby - "Toby...it's your momma...you gotta breathe, love....open your eyes and breathe, Toby!!...Jesus, make Him breathe, please!" I heard Tim begin to pray in tongues...

Bea grabbed the Ambu-bag to start PPV (resuscitation) while Erin checked Toby's heartbeat (it was steady at 130 bpm). His heart was strong, but he just could not take a breath. His eyes closed, I yelled for An-An and Promise to come in...An-An began to pray aloud and I heard Promise say, "Toby came out!" :) It was then that above Bea's "Breathe, two, three, Breathe, two, three" I heard Tim, Erin, An-An and myself storm the gates of Heaven for mercy. Praying in whatever language we could speak under the circumstances, we claimed life for our precious boy. Erin and Bea cut his umbilical cord and moved him to a flat surface to continue resuscitating. We continued to storm Heaven claiming Toby's name..."God is ALWAYS good...Tobias Robert James Stewart....GOD is ALWAYS GOOD! You are a TESTIMONY of God's goodness so you cannot die....you will LIVE in Jesus' Name to PROCLAIM the GOODNESS OF GOD! You are POWERFUL in the KINGDOM and the breath of LIFE and the HOLY SPIRIT are on you!"

The peace in the bathroom as we prayed and prayed was thick...the Presence of God had returned. We all knew it, too. Though Toby was still not breathing, we were feeling God's grace in the room.

An-An called 911 for an ambulance to be transported to the hospital and while we waited, Erin had the idea to literally turn Toby upside down, hanging him by his feet to get blood to his head...his eyes flew open and he grimaced! The first sign of improvement. Bea brought him to my chest again and gave him oxygen...he was a bit more pink, but still could not breathe...his chest was pink, but his hands, feet, and head were purple like death....we continued to pray...LOUDLY. Erin and Bea scurried around the bathroom preparing a transport bag and wrapping Toby up tight.

The ambulance came and the EMTs came in looking like deer in headlights as they saw a half-naked white lady in an empty tub with three large white people running around, a new baby purple and not breathing and An-An and Promise directing them. It was quite the sight for them...I am sure it was their first homebirth experience!

Toby, Tim and Erin raced to Brokenshire hospital while An-An stayed with Promise here at the house and Bea assisted in delivering my placenta, checking for tears, and stabilizing me. She was amazing. I immediately showered off with Bea's help and went pee. She checked me for a tear...a slight 1st degree that, though she suggested we suture, I argued that I would try the natural healing way if it closed straight...Bea looked a little skeptical, but she knew I was just wanting to get to the hospital ASAP. She relented and helped me dress, got me food, checked me for excessive bleeding (total estimated blood loss was 200 ccs), assisted me with the horrible afterpains, and helped pack an overnight bag for the hospital. Meanwhile, Promise and I skyped my parents, my brother, called Tim and sent out a facebook plea for prayer.

We were getting periodical updates from Tim and Erin...the last one just before leaving for the hospital was a noise I will never forget...Toby's cry...a shrill, but strong cry. Made me cry.

An-An offered to stay at the house while Bea, Promise and I raced to the hospital by taxi to meet up with Toby. Tim would then take Promise back home, tuck her into bed, An-An would be relieved by one of the girls from Mercy (thank you to Beth and Sarah for that!) and Tim would head back to the hospital overnight with me and Toby. Bea would be back in the morning to assess the situation and stay with me at the hospital while Tim headed home to check on Promise. It was quite the scheduling party!

At the hospital, Erin and Tim shared how the emergency room nurses and docs seemed so taken by the "white, peaceful baby" that they really stunk at helping him to breathe. Tim and Erin had to fight to get care for Toby and argue for his needs to be met as the nurses were thinking the baby was just quiet. Erin and Tim both shared how they emphatically, nearly yelled, "HE CAN'T BREATHE!!!"to the nurses. However, the pediatrician was being reached by phone and was ordering a bunch of tests. When I arrived, he was already hooked up to a oxygen-checking machine checking his O2 saturation and had been poked several times. I tried breastfeeding and he immediately latched on though he was still struggling to breathe and came off often in order to catch his breath.

Nurses came and went...we were all quite shaken up. And then Toby developed jaundice....the bad kind that develops within the first 24 hours of life. He rapidly turned from yellow to orange, making him irritable and difficult to feed. The next 24 hours were extremely difficult, though we were happy Toby was crying, he did not stop. He cried for 36 hours straight, arching his back and flexing all his muscles as if he was in great pain. He could not relax. His breathing was rough and his grunts sore. His voice was so hoarse. Tim and I were fried. Bea and Erin stayed super late to make sure we were okay for the evening. We were brought food and supplies while waiting for the next nurse to check Toby's vitals. None of them would give him anything for his distress. In the morning, after a sleepless night, Bea came and pleaded with the nurses to help Toby with his discomfort. We waited for the doctor to come while feeding Toby breastmilk by syringe.

The doctor, Dr. Estuart (the husband of the amazing OB doc I had at Brokenshire the previous month) was super friendly and helpful. He shared that the blood tests showed that Toby had a serious infection, though we had no idea what the bacteria causing it was. Bea and I thought it might be Group B strep as they do not test for that here, but it is quite common. Dr. Estuart ordered more tests and by Monday evening, Toby was on his first dose of intravenous antibiotics. Between the heel stick glucose testing, the multiple attempts at intravenous lines, and the blood tests, Toby had been poked 20 times....I cried a lot. So did Bea. Erin came Monday, too, and together we tried to figure out what we had just been through and what possible bacteria could be causing Toby such horrible chest pain and retractions.

Tim stayed at home with Promise Monday night while Bea stayed with me...it was another rough night. Bea helped me take a sponge bath and held screaming Toby while I slept. My hips were in excruciating pain as a result of afterpains and labor trauma. It was awful. Bea brought me beer to help with the milk production and pain, milk tea, and malunggay pills. Her house brought us a TON of groceries and snacks...we were in tears we were so grateful.

Bea and I had it out with the resident doctor as she was not doing her job and met with Dr. Estuart the next day to discuss the possibility of continuing Toby's treatment at home given the fact that the bacteria had still not been identified. There was the possibility of Listeria...though the onset of symptoms did not match....everyone seemed baffled. With Bea's help, we argued a good case to continue Toby's care at home. The Doc agreed as long as Bea gave the antibiotics intravenously until his catheter could no longer be used and then switch to intramuscular injections. We told him that we would keep in contact and he wrote our discharge papers.

The next few days were extremely rough. I was happy for a hot shower, but between the aftermath of labor, my tear, no sleep, and the stress of poking Toby 3x a day made healing very difficult. Promise was sensing the overall stress of the house, too. Tim was eager to get back to work, but with Promise struggling with the new addition, he spent a long time manning her while I focused on Toby. Toby began taking a bottle again of pumped breastmilk. We woke up by alarm every 2 hours to feed him as the jaundice had caused him severe lethargy that he wouldn't wake up even when hungry. My milk came in and between the early morning sunbathing and the new milk, Toby's jaundice started to subside. It was awful giving him injections in his thighs 3x per day, but he started to improve. Meanwhile, we were in close contact with Dr. Estuart regarding his care. Bea came over everyday either to bring food or arrange for food to come and to help give Toby his meds or check on me.

After a week, we met with the doc again....Toby was given an "out of danger" sign and we were told to monitor him closely for any residual side effects. 12 days after birth, I went to Bea because of severe pain in the pwerta...I was not healing...the stress and pressure had caused my tear to stay open and we opted to suture. A little late and painful, but needed.

So, though I am leaving a whole bunch of details out...you can see how God truly walked with us the whole way.

Today, I said goodbye to the dearest friend. Bea left Davao this morning for good. She is returning home after two years of midwifery training and I have to tell you...she is the best midwife I have ever seen...the most caring and qualified of nurses I have ever met and the dearest friend I have ever made here in Davao. Her service and grace, compassion and mercy over me and my family has truly impacted me...for life. She has been incredible....a source of encouragement....a source of help....His hands and feet when I could not "feel" Him....the Spirit of God in flesh. My life will never be the same because of her. She enriched and challenged me more than anyone I have met in our travels. I will miss her.

Not only Bea, but the whole 2010 Newlife International School of Midwifery class left this morning...the dearest friends I have ever had. We went to the airport together today to say our tearful goodbyes. They left a HUGE hole here. Tim and I have been so impacted by them. Amazing group of women. I am so thankful for the two years I had with them. They were there when Promise was born and they stayed to see the birth of Toby. Wow. Two years and so much has happened. I am grateful.

Tuesday, my mom arrives and not a moment too soon...or too late. The emptiness I feel as a result of losing such friendships here, no doubt will be alleviated by the sweet friendship, conversation, and companionship of my mom. I can't wait to hug her....and cry. A lot.

Tim is getting back into a routine and Promise is adjusting. Toby is growing and is now breastfeeding well. He is awesome....and burps and farts like a boy. :)

I better quit now. I am tired....crying now, too, as I reminisce on the past two weeks. Whew.

God is ALWAYS good.

Be blessed and thanks for reading.

Tobias Robert James Stewart....we are so thankful for YOU!

2010-07-15T01:53:00.000-07:00

Greetings! I have to make this short and eventually I will share Toby's more detailed birth story. It's a long one and very very different than Promise's birth story.

For those of you who have been commenting on facebook and via e-mail, your encouragements have been priceless and we are so grateful for your prayers. :)

Now here's the quick version:

I finally went into labor Saturday night late and 15 hours later, at 4:42 pm, Sunday, July 11th, our son, Tobias Robert James Stewart was born in our empty bathtub weighing in a 9 lbs .4 oz., 51 cm long. :) (Told you it was a short version....but it REALLY is a LONG story)

He came out not breathing and could not be stimulated to breathe adequately despite resuscitation efforts at home. We were literally storming the gates of Heaven in tongues of prayer while trying to resuscitate him, but he just refused to cry or breathe. After 35 minutes of stimulation through PPV and oxygen, though his heart was beating strong, we transported to Brokenshire hospital here in Davao. Tim and my assistant midwife, Erin, took him while my primary midwife, Bea, and friend, An-An stayed to make sure I was stable. Three hours after birth, I headed to the hospital to feed Toby and find out his status. Promise was great the whole time and stayed with An-An while I went to the hospital. Toby was given oxygen and finally began to take breaths on his own. He was taken for blood work and a series of quite invasive testing.

After him not sleeping for 36 hours and screaming in pain, we found that he had a fairly serious infection and required immediate treatment. He then turned jaundice and within 2 days of birth, could no longer breastfeed. I immediately started pumping and fed him through a syringe and bottle. With the help of our midwife and nurse, Bea, the doctor allowed us to take him home to further his antibiotic treatment. (I have to tell you how amazing she is when I post the birth story). We came home Tuesday, hopeful that he would improve keeping a very watchful eye on him. Since tuesday, he has made remarkable progress...and he is beautiful.

Despite the extremely rough few days we've had, Toby is recovering well. He is not out of the woods, yet, but he has made drastic improvements in the last 12 hours. We are now giving him antibiotic IM injections 3x/day until the 19th as opposed to the IV catheter injections we were giving the last 4 days. I am not too thrilled with having to cause him such pain daily, but I know it will be a short season making the rest of his life a healthy one. :) Bea has been so encouraging and is teaching me how to care for him during this process of healing.

Tim, Promise and I are coping. I don't know how else to say it. She is struggling. She misses being an only child and having our complete attention...she is currently wearing Toby's bib, tried to put on his clothes, and stole his pacifier walking around the house with it in her mouth refusing to let it out of her sights. She bit me today, too. We have such grace for this, though, because Tim and I are both feeling the same way. :)

We sure love our Tobias Robert James and his sweet disposition constantly melts our hearts.
We are making daily visits to the morning sunlight to help with the jaundice.
My nerve pain in my hips has not subsided since birth, but I am sure God will cover that, too, in His time. We have been well cared for and looked after by the Mercy midwives and friends here. They have sent us prayers, meals and have looked after Promise while Tim and I were in the hospital with Toby. We are very blessed.

We will post more pics soon, most of them are already on facebook, so if you are curious, you can check them out there. But here is one taken just a few hours after birth. :)

Be blessed and thank you for your continued prayers.

Bethany

It's been a mighty long time!

2010-06-25T04:26:00.000-07:00

Sorry. Tim was supposed to blog. He says he just doesn't have the inspiration to do it, yet.

Perhaps it is because we have no baby boy, yet.

Or perhaps it is because Tim has been so busy with the water project and feels that the monotony of it all is uninteresting.

Or maybe it's because we are just getting really lazy with blogging.

So, without further ado, I will simply share what Promise and I have been up to while Daddy is working hard and we wait for labor to begin so we can meet our new Stewart. It's boring to most, but it is our daily grind.

Promise, myself, Tim or our new friend, Jin, try to visit the park a couple times a week...it's the first park we have found in 3 years of living here that has a slide and grass! Promise also gets to hang out with Eliana and Justine (pictured). They are kiddos of our friends, Manny and Heather, who work at Mercy. The park is in the complex we have been staying in, so it's just a short walk! YEAH!

And then there's all the Filipina visitors we have since living with others....

Promise does love the attention...

And then there's iPad time with Dr. Seuss while Daddy works (Thanks, Uncle Jeff! You have saved our bacon). Dora always sits beside her.
And snacks in bed with mommy....which always ends up with some form of tickling. We do other things, too....these are just the times we slow down to actually take a picture!
And of course the morning distraction of dancing with Daddy before showering.
And the non-stop chatter just before bed after our Bible story.

So...Promise and I are two peas in a pod...soon to be three. We spend a lot of time reading together....waiting for this baby boy to come out!
Be blessed.

"I will Hold On"...

2010-06-09T03:30:00.000-07:00

Greetings! Have you ever heard that Vineyard song, “Hold On”? Tim used to sing it quite a bit and it appeared in my head this morning. Here are the lyrics....

My times are in Your hands
I know I'll never understand
But I'll trust in You
Sometimes my heart grows cold
I m sorry when I take control
How I'm needing You

Even when I fall
You help me stand
Even when I'm lost
You take my hand

I will hold on
I will hold on
I will hold on
Yes, I will trust in You

My life is in Your hands
You hold the key to who I am
And I'll trust in You
Sometimes my heart is stone
I m sorry when I walk alone
How I'm needing You

These last few days have been tiring and hard. I realized about two days ago that my body had not actually withdrew from the effects of the opiates I had been on in the hospital and was prescribed for home use. Stopping them completely left my body in total chaos. Between the LBM, heart palpitations, sweating, nausea and restlessness, I felt like I was either going into labor or needed to be and FAST! I couldn’t sleep and my hip would seize in pain from the muscle tension putting pressure on the nerve, thus I would feel the need to pop another tramadol or dolcet to ease the pain and discomfort.

Although I was down to a quarter of the dose originally prescribed and was nearly totally off the meds, I would hit a wall around 3 or 4 pm with severe withdrawal symptoms not knowing that my body was trying to detox.

Well, after yesterday’s prenatal exam, I had enough. The prenatal with Bea went awesome and the baby is doing fantastic...no side effects for him! :) Praise God. But Bea and I began to talk about how high my pulse was and at one point she said to me, “You okay? You look white!” And I began to feel like I wanting to purge and vomit breaking out into a cold sweat. I finally said, “Bea, I think I am addicted to the opiates!” While that actually isn’t true, I can definitely understand why one would become addicted quite quickly. Detoxing is awful and the only “cure” for the signs and symptoms of withdrawal seemed to be taking an optiate!

Bea and I quickly made some ginger tea for the nausea, I took homeopathic chamomile for the restlessness and irritability, and drank a beer to help sleep and bring down my pulse. Honestly, friends, I am not proud of all this and I wish I had been a part of the decision-making in the hospital when they put me on the myriad of opiates intravenously, but they just didn’t tell us what they were giving me and finally when I left the hospital with a prescription did I find out that what I would be taking is highly addictive and I would need to wean off the meds slowly, as my body was FULL of them upon leaving the hospital. Well, within 3 days outta the hospital, I was trying to get off them completely and here I am...a week later...managing withdrawal symptoms with whatever we can find in the Philippines!

Thankfully, Tim and Bea....and even Promise, have been patient with me as I stumble through this journey. It’s been lonely and each day feels like a battle. However, I have been receiving frequent encouraging e-mails from dear friends and mentors back home that have been reminding me of the strength of Christ in me, the fearlessness of His character in me, and the calling on this precious baby boy’s life. I am struck with awe as I am reminded of His unfailing love for me and the power He has to overcome all things in and outside of me.

I feel vulnerable and my physical body feels more weak than ever and yet, my spirit is very alive and is striving to rise above every circumstance, hurt, disappointment, feeling of rejection, and loss. I long to have those closest to me to share in the journey we are facing now. I long for meaninful “God-talks” with people dearest to me. I long for them to be a part of our baby’s birth, as I feel as though it is such a triumph in our adventure with the Lord. But we are alone.

With a humble and somewhat heavy heart, I look forward to laboring for this baby knowing that God will sustain me and the precious life inside. While we have not announced his name to many, yet, I will say that we picked his name based on its meaning. His name means “God is always good” and he is and will continue to be a constant reminder of that no matter what country the Lord takes us to, how lonely we feel, and when circumstances don’t make sense, God is ALWAYS good.

I apologize for hogging the blog these days. Tim is busy working hard so that he can take some time off when the baby is born, but still be able to feel confident leaving the Philippines in December. He has been slowed a bit by my status and though I feel horrible for this, I am so thankful I have such an amazing husband who desires to serve me in whatever state I am in. I am sure he will post something about water soon.

I wish I could post something about the awesome ministries we are involved in, the people we are tending to, the lives of the poor that are being transformed as a result of our service here, but all I can say is that in the holding place we are in right now, God doesn’t need us. While Tim may be able to tell you stories of how the water filters are blessing the poor and transforming lives and you can find them on www.impactnations.com, I honestly can’t think of a life that I have impacted besides Promise’s in a very long time. Perhaps that is the season of life I am in. I am looking forward to “doing” for the Lord soon....right now I feel like He is holding me in a “being” state....so for now, I will just “Hold on” and watch Him move.

Please be praying for us. We are hoping this baby will arrive sometime next week. Please pray he will come, that the pain will not be overwhelming (neither labor pains or nerve pain), and that he will be born competely healthy without complications. “God is ALWAYS good”.

Be blessed.

Update...thanks for praying!

2010-05-28T01:22:00.000-07:00

Greetings!

First of all, I just wanted to thank everyone for their encouragement and prayers. It has been a tiring week, but we are seeing some improvement and are grateful for God's gracious provision through our friends here. One of my friends, Beth, arranged for us to have dinners delivered to our house every night so I wouldn't have to cook! Thank you to all who volunteered to feed us!

And Bea has been over everyday this week to check up on me, help me with some household chores and ensure that I am not doing anything I am not supposed to....like bending over, carrying Promise or overworking myself. Despite her busy work schedule at the clinic, she has selflessly given her time and friendship....she is one of the most amazing women I have ever met.

Saturday night is now a blur thankfully, though there are times I can still taste the bile in my mouth from throwing up 11 times as a result of the pain...makes me a little nauseous. I do, however, remember how amazing Bea and my doctor, Dr. Estuart were in taking care of me. They spent many hours assessing my condition and discussing the possibility of still having a natural homebirth despite the obvious concern of my femoral nerve compression.

So the neurologist's diagnosis was that my left femoral nerve was severely compressed causing the excruciating pain and immobility. He said that the pain would not be relieved until this little baby boy came out. He also said that permanent nerve damage was likely and that postpartum therapy would be required. He suggested that we not have more children. Sorry, buddy, I think I will just rebuke everything you said and trust that God will take care of it, thanks. :) But I was grateful he was willing to give me the straight goods.

The anesthesiologist gave me some heavy-duty opiates - tramadol and dolcet - that totally worked, but backed up the bowels for 5 days...but Bea packed me with psyllium husks, flax seeds and papaya, so we are on a slow road to recovery leaving behind the mother of all hemorrhoids. The pain has subsided some, though nights are rough, as baby boy is most active then bashing into the nerve causing the pain though I am thankful he is moving despite the strong meds. :)

The other concern as of late is the massive and painful edema in my feet and legs. We noticed it after about 12 hours in the hospital. Though I have been elevating them several times a day and increasing my water intake, my legs resemble an elephant's and if I spend more than 20 minutes on my feet, they throb and ache. Mmm.

Caring for Promise and doing simple household chores have become extremely difficult and Tim has had to carry a much larger burden than ever before. He is doing great, though.

So we'll just wait and see what happens over the next couple weeks as the onset of labor gets closer and Tim and I try to juggle work, Bird time, and adjusting to a new living space. The other tenants of the house have been so gracious and understanding of our circumstances. They, too, are praying for complete recovery.

Bea and I have agreed to do a trial of labor here in the house and if things get dangerous, we will pay Dr. Estuart at Brokenshire Hospital a visit. The alternative there is an epidural and a possible operative delivery. We're praying that it will not be necessary. Only 2 more weeks and this boy will be full term and able to make an entrance into the world. We are hoping that labor will begin in about 3 weeks. If not, we may look into alternatives or natural induction.

At this point, I am trying to wean myself off of the dolcet (the stronger of the meds) and have successfully gone a full 24 hours without it. :) It has not come without an increase in pain, but the pain is now tolerable. We will see if I can wean off of the tramadol before entering into labor. :)

Thank you again for all your prayers. We wish we were close to our families during this time, but have been amazed at God's gift of surrogate family members. Rick and Sherry came over last night and prayed intensely over us, our new home, and our family. They leave tomorrow and I can honestly say, their presence will be deeply missed. They have ministered to us in this difficult time more than we could possibly express and saying goodbye to them will be quite painful. They will be forever friends, but as a result of the life God has placed us in, we say "goodbye" more often than "hello".

So we press on. I guess that's about it. Thank you again for your incredible and faithful prayers and support, everyone. We are so thankful and know that God is doing something bigger than our earthly minds can comprehend. Be blessed.

Bethany Update

2010-05-23T04:28:00.000-07:00

I'm gonna head to bed in a minute, but I wanted to give you a quick update on Bethany's health. For those who were unaware, Bethany was taken to the hospital at around 4am this morning. She had been suffering an intense pain that spread from her back, around her left hip, and down to her groin. She woke me at 1am when the pain was becoming more intense, and a couple hours later I called Béa, our midwife, and asked her to come have a look.

Béa brought Beth K with her to assist in what we thought might have been pre-term labor. An internal exam revealed that her cervix was still closed, but this certainly looked as though it may be the beginning stages of labor. Bethany is only 34 weeks, so a home birth was out of the question (you need to be 37 weeks for a safe home birth) and a trip to the hospital was the obvious choice.

I called our friend Sherry and asked her to come help. She and her husband Rick were here in a flash, and while I went to start the truck, the gang helped Bethany down the driveway. Oh, did I mention that we just moved yesterday. So trying to pack a bag for her was a bit of a gong show. I didn't know where anything was. Truth be told, I was having trouble finding light switches, so I was groping in the dark. We had literally only been living in the house twelve hours.

Anyways, Beth offered to stay at the house while Promise continued to sleep unaware. Meanwhile, Sherry and Béa and I went to the hospital. Béa had already made arrangements with the doctor at this hospital a few months ago, just in case a home birth became a problem. The doctor that Béa had chosen was amazing. Amazing. She was so attentive. She was there very quickly, despite the 4:30am wakeup call. She stayed with Bethany for so long and made sure she was getting the best of care. She let the three of us go into the birth ward even though it was against hospital policy.

All of the staff in that ward are fantastic. Each of the doctors was very communicative, telling us exactly what was going on. They did a great job of listening to Bethany and meeting her needs. Her need was simple: Pain Relief. She was screaming bloody murder. The pain was unbearable. Job number one was to relieve the pain, job number two was to find the cause.

It took a while to find a strong enough drug to stop the screaming. Eventually they called in an anesthesiologist who got a tramadol IV drip going, with the occasional shot of morphine to battle the sudden onset of even greater pain. Meanwhile they were doing regular checks on the baby to make sure that he was not getting stressed. Each check confirmed that he was largely oblivious to his mother's agony.

The first suspected culprit was kidney stones. An ultrasound ruled that out. The next thing on the list was a possible blockage in her intestines. This hospital doesn't have an MRI machine, so we took an ambulance to the nearby hospital where they scanned Bethany for over 45 minutes. Of course, she was asked to remain as still as possible so they could get a clear picture. She did amazing. I sat with her in the room while Béa sat with the tech and saw some very cool pictures of my baby boy. After the scan we were told that it had not revealed any trouble.

This left us with only one other possibility, and that is where we are now. Bethany has been referred to a neurologist who will check for some sort of pinched nerve. She was signing the papers for that referral when I left this evening, so we expect to get some word later tonight.

I sat with Bethany while she slept for a couple hours this afternoon while Béa went home for a quick nap and a shower. She returned at 6pm to send me home so I could tuck Promise into bed. I can't tell you how excited I was to see Promise. Bethany and I really missed her today. What was she up to during our adventure? She was having fun with her friends!

Beth, who had arrived in the middle of the night, stayed for the entire day with the Bird. Kendra and Bethany W. were here as well. They had a great day with Promise, and I can't tell you how much they blessed me. I came home to a super happy kid who had already eaten dinner and was already bathed. After a big hug, we waved to the girls as they left and then we went to my bed to play.

What a privilege to play with my kid. We spent about 45 minutes together doing our regular evening activities of "horsey" and "woah". "Horsey" is the one where I lay on my back and Promise sits on my belly facing me while I jiggle up and down. "Woah" is a similar setup with her facing the other direction while I hold her arms and pull her in every direction before finally flopping her on the bed beside me.

We then read our nightly bible story and went to her room to read "Tiger Can't Sleep" and sing our songs. She went to bed perfectly happy. That, my friends, is the grace of God. Imagine, she awoke on her first day in a new house, to find that her parents were missing. She spent the day with the girls, got an hour with me, and then went to bed with a smile on her face, never having seen her mom. And she's not even two years old. God is good. He really is good to us.

I know I've said this dozens of times on these pages, but we have some incredible friends here. They helped us pack up and move house over the course of two days, and then on day three went the extra mile and took care of us in yet another crisis. Beth, Bethany and Kendra—thank you for being such awesome babysitters. Sherry, thanks for being there and loving on Bethany when I felt like I had nothing left to give. I don't know who was working to cover Béa's shift today, but thanks to all who arranged that. Rick, thanks for doing what needed to be done and taking care of those who were taking care of Bethany. And Béa, thanks for all that you do. I don't know how you can so graciously take such good care of Bethany and I when our world seems to be crumbling around us. Thanks for the wisdom and peace that you bring with you everywhere you go.

I'm gonna sleep at home tonight and Béa will stay the night at the hospital. She has a shift in the morning, so the girls have offered to watch Promise at the orange house while I go see Bethany first thing. I hope to bring the Bird with me for another visit later in the morning. I'll try to update this blog late tomorrow when I have more news for you.

In the meantime, if you'd like to pass on a little message for Bethany, leave a comment on this blog. I'll be brining a computer to the hospital tomorrow so she has some tv shows to watch or something. I'll be sure to open up the comments window before I leave with the computer so she can read your get well wishes. I know that would really bless her.

It feels awful to hear her in such agony. I feel so helpless. Please continue to pray that the doctors will find the cause of her pain and find a solution. Thanks for all your prayers.

Tim.

PS. I was texting Darrell about the silly little shoes that I had to wear in the hospital room today, and he suggested I take a photo. I had my phone, so I leaned over and took a snap shot.

MOVING!

2010-05-20T14:51:00.000-07:00

Greetings! Sorry for the long delay in posting. Our lives have been a little chaotic.

To just quickly update ya'll before Tim's following LONG post, here's what's been happening:

Rick (Sherry's hubby) arrived last Saturday bearing Tim's COMPUTER!!! This computer I am currently working on is now simply Promise's "Dora the Explorer" addiction....or so she thinks. :) Tim is ecstatic, as he is now able to get lots of work done and follow up on the items he was unable to get to because of a lack of computer. I haven't seen him so very happy in a long time!

We've been sucking every morsel of time out of Rick and Sherry, as they head back to California this on the 29th. It will be very hard to say goodbye to them. Their presence here has been an incredible encouragement and blessing to us and we have no doubt in our minds that God will cross our paths again and again over time. :) They reek of Jesus and it's awesome.

We had a great evening of celebration with the graduating class of Newlife International School of Midwifery. This class of 11 girls have been a source of great fellowship and fun and we are so excited for them as they step out in faith for what God has in store for them as international midwife ambassadors.

Filipino elections have ended, though there is still some unrest with some of the results...in fact, we are still waiting on receiving word who are the winners in some areas of the country! Ha ha ha...however, the blackouts have diminished significantly and for that, I am grateful!

Promise has completely recovered from the accident last month, though we spent the majority of the last two weeks awake at night with her as she got a horrible flu we later discovered was an amoeba. After 6 days of diarrhea and recurring fever, I took her in to see a pediatrician. He listened as I rattled off all of Promise's symptoms and said exactly what I thought he'd say...."Get a stool sample and we'll put her on metronidazole". Sure enough, stool sample showed a nasty amoeba infiltrating her intestines (usually caused by bad water or poorly cooked food). She started the meds a couple days ago and though very pale and tired, seems to gaining her appetite, is not dehydrated, and is in better spirits. I hate seeing my baby girl sick. :(

The package my parents sent came at a wonderful time! It had Easter candy for Tim and me and stickers for Promise. :) It also contained my certified professional midwife certificate. :) It was full of encouragement and we are so grateful for the pieces of home.

Speaking of which, this morning, some of my dear friends from Mercy are coming over to help us move out of our apartment and into the house we will be watching for 6 months for our pastor friends. We're just about completely packed and though there is actually very little to be moved, we have been amazed at how much "stuff" we have acquired over the past 3 years! Though mostly paper and books, determining what stays and what goes has been an arduous task. Tomorrow, we will complete the move and prepare this apartment for the couple arriving in August to serve with Newlife and Mercy. God's grace has been super sufficient in this time of preparing.

Sorry this post is a little disheveled...I am writing it at 5 am as I have not been able to sleep the last few nights. With only 4 weeks left until this little baby inside is full term, sleep is becoming quite the luxury and with the added stress of moving and Promise being sick, sleep is just not really happening. This, too, shall pass, I am told. :) My midwife and very dear friend, Bea, has been totally amazing coming weekly to hang out, help pack things, watch Promise, remind me to take it easy, and just be a blessing. I am so so thankful for her.

Tim is having a GAS being back to work and there are exciting things happening with the water project, so stay tuned for his post in a couple of days. He has lots to share regarding God's amazing provision of clean water to the poor of Mindanao...and beyond!

Be blessed!

I leave you with just a few pics of the month....
The Newlife International School of Midwifery Class of 2010 (minus me and Promise, of course). They have served the poor women of Davao City at Mercy Maternity Center tirelessly. :)

Promise's new Easter bunny from Gramma Con and Papa Jim (notice the stickers on her arms...those came in the package, too!)

Sherry doing nutrition teaching at Mercy on our prenatal day.

Our lovely preggo ladies at Mercy.

And this is what I woke up to on Mother's Day.... (*BIG smile*)

April-aftermath

2010-05-03T00:00:00.000-07:00

Greetings! WELCOME TO MAY!!!

I cannot begin to share with you my gratefulness in seeing April come to a close. April, the nightmare month, is officially over! May is SURE to be better! Just read what we get to look forward to in May:

1. Filipino elections (signaling the "possible" cessation of rolling blackouts...."possible")

2. Our friend, Sherry, gets to meet her hubby, Rick, at the airport (they have been apart for 3 months!) BONUS: He is bringing Tim's new and absolutely necessary computers!

3. My dear friends at Mercy Maternity Center graduate from Newlife International School of Midwifery.

4. We're moving at the end of this month into a temporary place until November.

5. My parents sent a package that should arrive sometime this month.

6. Tim planned a date for the two of us this week and Sherry is coming to babysit!

7. There will be MANY nights of playing cards and chewing the fat with Sherry and Rick. :)

So, as you can see, there is a lot of GOOD things to look forward to. :) Already this month is better than last month in that we haven't had a power outage since Thursday because of the May Labor Day holiday! That's FOUR DAYS with consistent power! That's a Filipino record! WAHOO!

So, I won't go on much longer, but I wanted to just give a quick update on the healing process since the no-so-fun Wednesday we had last week.

Promise's head is healing well and her cuts and scratches are beginning to itch showing she is on the mend. Her bruises are fading and we rode in a taxi this morning without incident. I don't think she even remembered that is was the same company and taxi-type we were in last Wednesday.

She will often point to her head and say, "OWIE" when I clean it...she even tried to clean MY head after seeing me gingerly put salve and betadine on her cuts. Cute. She does seem a bit more clingy, but not crabby or fussy. God has protected her. :)

Tim's back is still very very sore, but some of that was from long before the accident. He is trying to stretch it out everyday, but I think he will need some therapy when we return to Canada. His shin is healing, too, though you shouldn't ask him about it when Promise sits on it. She's like a magnet for touching the OWIES. OUCH!

I took the advice of friends and iced my left side as best I could and decided not to "rest" it too much, which could cause it to become stiff. I have regained most mobility now in that side, though it gets sore and tired very quickly. I am still experiencing some muscle weakness in my left arm, but little by little I am seeing the bruising fade and the muscles relax. My back is still very sore, but I am thrilled that the pain is less than what it was. Contractions have lessened and little baby boy seems happy, so I am happy. I am wary to ride a taxi or motorbike as of late, but I am sure my protectiveness will fade a bit over time.

Tim is working hard picking up the pieces of April. We should get the truck back this Wednesday, which will make his life significantly easier. He is excited for continued progress in the water project and will blog next about it for you.

Thank you all so very much for your support and prayers throughout these past horrible weeks. As a friend shared with me last week, "With much adversity, must come much blessing." So I am anticipating a lot of joy this month...my spirit certainly feels more joy! Thank you again and please continue to keep us in your prayers....they are working.

Be blessed.

Crasho Basho

2010-04-28T05:27:00.000-07:00

My car died today. And that's the beginning of the story. Bethany and Promise and I were in the truck this afternoon, headed home from a wedding, when the rattling noise emanating from the engine could no longer be ignored. My mechanic happens to be located on the road on which we were traveling, so I rolled in and asked him to take a look. He said it was definitely overheating, but that he won't have time to look at it until tomorrow.

My family and I were tired and very hot. The wedding had suffered from a poorly timed blackout (we now get them everyday), so there were no fans or air conditioners, making for a rather warm event. Add to that the fact that the wedding was held under a large, translucent, greenhouse-like dome, at high noon, and you can imagine that we were cooking. Even Promise had BO!

We were anxious to get home, crank the aircon, and take a nap. I suppose you've already guessed? Yes, Murphy's Law was in full effect. We took a taxi home from the mechanic, only to discover that our neighborhood blackout had just begun, and would leave us without power for three hours. Awesome.

But, we have the victory. God's grace was sufficient. We took a cold shower with what little water pressure we had left (no power means no pressure), and I called our friends Darrell and Shannon and invited ourselves over to their place. Darrell and Shannon have a generator at their house, so they have aircon and internet even during blackouts. We like them for other reasons too, but the generator is certainly a good bonus.

Freshly showered, yet already sweaty, we chased down a cab and headed across town—Murphy's Law still in effect. We were halfway there when it happened. Our car was t-boned in the middle of an intersection by a large SUV. The vehicle struck on Bethany's side, pushing her door in significantly and showering glass over the three of us. I'm still not sure who was at fault, but certainly one of the two vehicles did not belong in the intersection at that moment.

Our immediate concern was for the baby, as Bethany was experiencing sharp pain in her belly. The other major issue was the blood running down Promise's face, though it looked like just a small scratch from the flying glass. Sitting on the other end of the bench seat, I was fine.

I didn't panic, but I wasn't sure what to do. Once I had taken a moment to assess the situation, I determined that there was no immediate danger to Bethany, Promise, or the baby (this boy really needs a name). Rather than wait for an ambulance, the traffic cop helped us hail another taxi and we headed for the hospital that was only two blocks from our location. The emergency room nurses were great and took good care of Promise, who had a few pieces of glass lodged in her skin, including one in her scalp that led to a small bit of suturing.

In the meantime, I had been on the phone rallying the troops. I called Matt, the director of Mercy Maternity, because he always knows what to do. I called our midwife, Béa, because I wanted to have somebody looking out for Bethany and the baby. I called Darrell and Shannon because I knew we were gonna need some friends to take care of us. I called Toti because he is my dear friend and he is very good at looking out for me.

That seems like a lot of people, and perhaps it was a bit much. And yet, I was so glad to have each one of those people around. Matt arrived quickly and gave me the scoop on what to expect as far as the legal details were concerned. Béa was so good with Bethany and Promise and really helped to reassure us that the baby was okay. She fought to get us an ultrasound even though the technicians were just closing up shop for the day. The ultrasound was good, the heart tones were good, and baby seems fine (as does the placenta, for all you midwives out there).

Toti, as per usual, was fantastic. After spending a few minutes with me at the hospital, he went up the road to investigate the accident and check in with the traffic officers. What a blessing to know that he was taking care of that for me and that I could just focus on my family. When Toti returned to the hospital, he had the driver of the SUV with him. They volunteered to pay for all of our hospital bill. I have no idea how Toti got them to come, but he did. What a relief to know that all this was taken care of. The driver waited until all our business at the hospital was done and then paid our bill. Toti waited right there with them the whole time. In fact, he sent us out the door and stayed behind to take care of it all. What a blessing, and what a dear friend.

The hospital that we were in happened to be the same hospital that employ's Toti's wife, Connie, as a nurse. He must have contacted her because it wasn't long before she was in the emergency room. It is so reassuring to see a familiar face there when they are working on your kid. Connie and Béa helped Bethany hold Promise down on the table as the doctor sutured her scalp. Poor kid was so brave the whole day, but she was clearly in pain while getting stitched up. Hearing your kid scream in pain is the worst feeling in the world.

Darrell and Shannon were awesome. They were quick to get to the hospital, and Promise perked right up when she saw them. Shannon even brought one of Promise's favorite stuffed animals. They stood with me outside the hospital when I finally broke down and had a bit of a cry. Shannon gave me a big hug and they prayed for me before I went back in to check on the ladies. They gave us a ride home and then went out and grabbed dinner and brought it back to the house. It was nice to finish the day eating KFC with friends.

Promise and Bethany are okay, and it looks like everything is okay with the baby too. We would appreciate your prayers in the coming days. Needless to say, we are a little shaken up. Promise has lots of scratches and bruises, but she is still pretty cheerful. The left side of Bethany's body is quite sore, but there doesn't seem to be any major damage. Aside from a banged up shin and a sore back, I am fine.

I thank God that we are okay. It could have been much worse. I'll wait a few days before I tell you how I feel about all this. If you've been following along at home, you may have noticed that we are having one hell of an April. But more about that later. For now, I think I will sleep.

Cheers,

Tim.

Darrell just emailed me a couple of photos he snapped secretly with his iPhone in the emergency room:

We are blessed and I stink.

2010-04-26T00:08:00.000-07:00

Greetings! Let me begin by saying that the last post was convicting to me as I read it again this afternoon. Tim wrote it. Today, though I know I am blessed, I do not FEEL blessed. I feel like a horrible sinner swimming against the flow of a giant river of feces. Sorry for the visual, but honestly, I am feeling that way. The irony is, this river of feces is ...... my own doing.

I guess I should explain.

April has been the month from H-E-double hockey sticks. It started with the death of Tim's computer and the necessity of having to buy a new one (set to arrive the 14th of May). Then there was the stolen water meters leading to 4 days without water. Then the rolling brown-outs leading to spoiled food and the need to escape our fan-less apartment, thus increasing our "going out" budget to avoid the heat, and the non-stop inconvenience leading to Promise's sweaty naptimes that weren't so "nappy". Then came Tim throwing out his back and my hips reaching the point of OUCH...the increase of temperature putting Davao at 110 degrees F on the heat index....you put rolling brown-outs with that and you get a very crabby baby and mommy. Then I received a power bill charging us $270. USD....the largest one we've ever had...and it was that high even with the rolling brown-outs! Then Promise got sick. Really sick...then she passed it to Tim, who then passed it to me....enter TODAY....6-hour brown-out on our street in the heat of the day leading to something I am not proud of.

I threw a tantrum. I have kept my cool this whole month....trying to stay positive and helpful as I watched Tim throw minor tantrums through the mess and stress of it all, but today, my tantrum was 100% worse than any he had thrown. Mine was so bad it threw me into a painful tizzy of shortness of breath and of uterine contractions. I'd had enough....of this country....of mosquitoes....of the weather....of the brown-outs...of loneliness....of missing family....of being uncomfortably pregnant...of being so sweaty that I can't see straight....everything seemed to be too heavy to handle...I was too physically hot to bear it and with sweat pouring from every portion of my body I cried out, "I AM DONE AND I WANT TO GO HOME!"....and Tim prayed. And I felt convicted. It's been years and years since I'd had a fit like that...or even felt like I 'needed' one.

So here I sit...30-weeks pregnant and so grateful for the life inside, so grateful for my husband that God gave me to fill in the gaps when I suck, so grateful for Promise, who despite the heat, maintains a pretty great disposition. And here I sit, so disgusted by my attitude and lack of grace for life here and so disappointed in my ungrateful actions.....and I still desperately want to go home.

I listen to stories of others around the world facing trials and the difficulties they go through daily as a result of poverty and pain and I realize just how petty my grievances are. Even during prenatal exams, I listen to the humbling stories of my patients and how much they sacrifice to simply have some assurance that their babies will be okay. Just last week, we had a patient come in for a prenatal at 36 weeks who had not felt her baby move in a few days. Heart tones were not found and the baby had turned from cephalic (head down) to breech and no fetal bones of the head were found upon palpation usually indicating the baby had died. Gosh....what kind of tizzy would THAT send me into? I cannot imagine.

I am reminded of the Scripture from Romans 8, which says,

" ¹⁸I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. ¹⁹The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed. ²⁰For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope ²¹that^{i]" style="font-size: 0.75em; line-height: 0.5em; ">[i]} the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God.

²²We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. ²³Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. ²⁴For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? ²⁵But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

²⁶In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. ²⁷And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will."

The bold area describes the groan I feel, hear...almost taste these days....it pours out of me like the sweat dripping....as the number of natural disasters seem to increase and the wars and rumors of wars continue to plague headlines, and as some of our patients lose their children for no known reason....my heart aches to see His coming and ALL CREATION yearns to be relieved....

"His grace is sufficient." Oh God, forgive my ungrateful heart and my petty, earthly grievances.

Please pray for me.

I leave you with three pics of the Bird.

That's Tim and Promise riding the Gaisano Mall "train" to escape the heat of the day...it was super busy....guess everyone had the same idea to escape the heat!

And this is our friend, Sherry, who has blessed us immensely with her gracious company, wisdom and support. Promise just loves her and she has a granddaughter about Promise's age! Her hubby, Rick, is the fantastic guy bringing Tim a new computer. :)

We sure are blessed.

2010-04-16T21:16:00.000-07:00

I'm writing this on my phone—I can't figure out a way to transfer the text from my phone, so I'll type it up later—because it is the only computing device available to me at the moment. Promise has a slight fever, so all she wants to do this morning is cuddle on the bed with Mom and Dad while watching "Backpack" (Dora).

The three of us have been sharing Bethany's old MacBook since my computer went to be with Jesus a couple weeks ago. It's been a challenge, but Bethany has been so gracious to let me use it for work for several hours each day. I'm grateful for the computer that we have, but I'd be lying if I told you that it is meeting my needs.

The reality is that most of my documents won't even open on Bethany's computer because it does not have the necessary software or the processing power needed to run such applications smoothly. I tried swapping her hard drive out for the big one that once resided in my computer (changing a hard drive while balancing a toddler on your lap should be a televised sport), but the crashes became more frequent.

I am making this work as best I can, but I have certainly been less productive and my stress level is pretty high as I struggle to find a workable file management system. I've got a bunch of video editing to do this week for our website, but I've got more video footage than Bethany has available storage. All that to say that we cannot continue like this for very long.

My parents have graciously offered to loan us some money so that I can get the tool I need to do my job. The tricky thing is that the most up-to-date computer hardware can only be found in North America. It would cost a fortune to ship a computer from Canada to the Philippines, where it would then be held for ransom by the always popular, ever scrupulous Customs Bureau.

Thankfully, there is a solution, albeit a convoluted one.

Our new friend Sherry is currently serving as an intern at the clinic right now. Sherry is from California and is missing her husband, Rick, terribly. Rick will be coming to visit his wife in May and has most graciously offered to help. So, I could simply purchase the computer online and have it shipped to Rick's house, ya? Of course not, that would be too easy. Apple won't accept a Canadian credit card on their website. Besides, were I to send the purchase to a California address, I'd be paying hundreds of dollars in sales tax.

We spoke to Bethany's parents and they have graciously agreed to purchase the computer in tax-free Oregon using money that my parents will send them from Canada—thank you God that in your infinite wisdom you have preserved a strong Canadian economy, resulting in a CAD that is equal to the USD! The really cool part of this crazy plan is that Jim has a business trip to California in early May and might be able to bring the computer with him, thus saving the cost of shipping the stuff from Oregon to California. I love it when a plan comes together.

Why am I telling you all this stuff? I don't mean to sound like a whiner, nor do I wish to bore you with the details. Nevertheless, I want to make a point. Bethany and I have been here in the Phils for almost three years now. There is absolutely no way that we could have survived without a support network that includes my parents, her parents, people like Sherry and Rick, indeed all of our dear friends in Canada and the United States. Sure, their prayers are invaluable, and their financial assistance is an incredible blessing, but today I speak of the practical things that they do to make our lives easier.

It's the care packages in the mail with little tastes of home. It's the running around to government buildings to get needed immigration documents. It's cashing cheques or mailing documents for Bethany's certification. I could go on and on about all the little details that get taken care of. Our support team in North America continues to stand in the gap for us.

I know that several of our readers are already making plans to move overseas, some of you to the Philippines. I cannot stress this point enough. You will need a huge amount of support once you have left. Finding financial contributors is just the beginning. The key is to have people back home who are ready to take your call and go to bat for you when you need it.

So to all of our support team, I say from the bottom of my heart, Thank You. You continue to amaze us and bless us beyond our wildest dreams. We would have crashed and burned a long time ago if it weren't for you.

Cheers,

Tim.

PS. Since I haven't computer time for Facebook these days, let me just get these few things off my chest:

Henrik Sedin for the Hart!

Alex Edler, you da man!

Go Canucks Go!

Helena Guergis, good riddance.

This is the coolest thing Impact Nations has ever been a part of.

Bethany is getting huge and our boy needs a name...

Ok, I'm done. I've got no way of processing images from my camera, so for now we'll give you a few of Bethany's recent snapshots.

Promise is just beginning to "potty train" with very little success....but she CAN sit on the potty....It's a good thing Promise is too young to be embarrassed by this pic:

And one of her favorite things to do is help Daddy plan a worship set for Sunday mornings. She sings along, dances and claps, but most importantly, she "plays" the guitar.

HE IS RISEN!

2010-04-03T02:46:00.000-07:00

Happy Easter!

I hope to pump out this blog before Tim needs my computer again....his has bit the dust and as many of you know. So much of what he does requires him to use his much fancier computer. Alas, the poor computer is tuckered out and Tim, as a result, is very stressed. So....here I go...

We were strangely awakened on Good Friday at 4:30 am. In the Philippines, it is tradition to create a funeral procession for Jesus on Good Friday and everything is shut down for the day. No one works and no one goes outside after the procession. They believe that because Jesus dies every year on this day, if something were to happen, such as a death in the family, this poor family member would go directly to hell because Jesus has not risen, yet. You don't want to commit a sin on Good Friday, either, because it will not be forgiven until Sunday....however, there seems to be less "procession" and celebration on Easter Sunday than on Good Friday.....Mmmm. So Good Friday, at 4:30 am, a funeral procession came down our street blaring sad, remorseful music with a very heavy, dark voice speaking Visayan over the top, proclaiming that "He was marred for our transgressions." Thought-provoking, indeed, but I think they missed the point.

It has certainly been a while since we have blogged. Everyday seems riddled with change and I barely remembered it was Easter until Holy Week came upon us. Yes, I had heard others saying they had given up "this" or "that" for Lent and facebook was full of people saying "goodbye" for Lent. But somehow, Lent seemed to pass so quickly and my best intentions of starting an Easter tradition failed.

Maybe it was the lack of bunnies, plastic eggs, and pastel colored Easter candy in the supermarket like I am familiar with at home. There are no "Cadbury" eggs or speckled malt eggs here....nothing to tell you Easter is coming, funny how those things are "Eastery" ha ha ha.... and there were no crosses or pictures of Jesus around, either. The days have seemed to run together like a watercolor painting gone wrong.

And yet, God is clearly speaking.

Three weeks ago, I met a very special person. Her name is Sherry. She's come to the Philippines from California to acquire more birth experience. As a nurse in her 50s, she came to a place of desiring to practice the Gospel in a very tangible way through serving the poor. And in the last 3 weeks, she has ministered to me immensely. She is only here until the end of May, but I know her impact on my life will last much longer.

In the last year, I have grown very tired. Worn. Lonely. Hungry for deep spiritual connections...relationships....longing to be filled up, as I have felt that the last 3 years have emptied me totally. I think about all that has happened in 3 short years and I am thoroughly amazed at the faithfulness and power of God....in a nutshell, Tim and I moved to the Philippines, I became a certified professional midwife, had our first baby, Tim discovered his passion and calling, and we got preggo with our second baby....we've missed many weddings, births of family members, funerals of precious loved ones....all while living in an unfamiliar country, culture, and living daily by God's gracious provision alone. I'd say that's quite a bit for 3 years. Probably more action than some and certainly not near as much as others.

Meeting Sherry this past month gave me the IV infusion of perspective from the Holy Spirit that I desperately needed. While I feel as though our time in the Philippines is starting to wind down, I feel as though another journey of equal difficulty and equal grace is on the not-too-distant horizon. If it's okay, I would like to share what plans we feel the Lord has laid for us in this season of change....

Let me start by saying that our passion, as a family, is to tangibly act out the Gospel of Christ through practical service to the poor and broken. Narrowing it down, Tim's demonstration of this passion is bringing clean, safe drinking water to the poor for life. My demonstration is through tending to the physical and emotional needs of women and children living in poverty through midwifery and health education. Meanwhile, a new passion that the Lord has unveiled is that of raising our children to desire Christ in every part of their lives...this includes a life of service. However, we feel strongly that hands-on parenting of our children does not include putting service to the poor above their discipling. Yes, I know it's not really a word, but I say "discipling" over discipline because parenting is truly discipleship. Serving the poor overseas is certainly a part of this new passion of discipleship. Okay...with that thought in mind....we feel as though we will be vagabonds for most of our lives (Lord-willing and guiding), but we also feel as though so much has happened in the last 3 years, that we need a time of "refilling" and rest as a family...surrounded by family....

We are coming home....but not permanently. :)

In the meantime, God has opened the door for us to house-sit for a missionary family who will be going on a 6-month furlough to the US starting at the end of May. This is an incredible blessing to us as we will not have to pay for rent, but rather just utilities allowing us to (hopefully) save some money for flights home. At the same time this opportunity came, another couple received acceptance into the Newlife International School of Midwifery program here. This allows us to pass on our apartment and all our belongings to the couple serving the poor in Mercy Maternity Center in July! (Yes, this does mean that baby Stewart #2 will be born in the Philippines; hopefully at our new place of house-sitting!) I cannot begin to tell you how the pieces have fallen into place regarding the timing of everything.

You see, Tim and I have had a deep desire to go back to Canada to spend Christmas with our families. It may seem trivial, but having spent the last 3 Christmases here and now having two children...well, it has been a desire to experience Christmas with our kiddos with their extended family.....so the missionary family that we are house-sitting for will be returning to Davao the end of November leaving us without a place to live. This is a good thing. This sealed the deal for us that God was setting up the opportunity to come home for Christmas. So our current plan is to arrive in Vancouver the end of November and hope to stay for as little as 6 months while we prepare for the next move. Tim will continue to oversee the water project in the Philippines while creating international partnerships with and for Impact Nations through the provision of safe, clean drinking water......

This creates a whole new set of transition....we have no place to live, no winter clothes for the kiddos, no furniture, no vehicle...no equity...you get the idea. But just as God prepared for us a place (a beautiful and peaceful place) for us here in the Philippines after selling everything we had, we have no doubt that He will continue to pave the way for us, though we are treading carefully and submitting every detail to Him....

Toti, Tim's right arm man, will continue the water project here with Tim communicating with him frequently. There is so much happening with the water project now and Tim is confident that helping manage it from afar will not be a problem come November. I will be supporting him while beginning to plan for the next place of residence....whatever country that will be in...while learning to parent two toddlers.

I know without a doubt that I am leaving out a whole bunch of details and thoughts. I am aware that I have followed a few too many rabbit trails in this post. Just blame it on me being 27 weeks pregnant. :)

Back to Sherry. She challenged me this month with the story of a gal who "left it all behind" for the passion of Christ. If you get a chance, read the blog postings from www.kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com and perhaps listen to the podcasts she recommends from www.brookhills.org/media/series/radical. I guarantee it will challenge and maybe encourage you....I would love to hear some of your thoughts or comments on the subjects shared....honestly, I am shaken by their challenges and I am encouraged that our calling as a family has not changed.....and will not change, though I look forward to His rest and refilling in November.

Be blessed. I leave you with the Bird sitting on our front step awaiting another adventure.....

PS. Please keep us in your prayers as there is a LOT to plan and think about. THANKS!!!

Back to School

2010-03-25T00:29:00.000-07:00

Hey all. Toti and I had a goofy day of presenting the Biosand Water Filter to school children yesterday. Read all about it here.

Tim.

Catching up...

2010-03-21T00:09:00.000-07:00

We're having a lazy day. There was no church today, so we sat in bed and watched the hockey game instead. Well, truth be told, Promise had the other computer set up next to mine with a Dora DVD. But I could tell she was conflicted about what screen to fix her gaze upon. I think she'll turn into a good Canadian soon enough.

It was nice to have family time. I've been trying hard to set aside some special time for that each week. I always look forward to our evening routine of eating together (still no television shows during meals, if you were wondering), and then playing with Promise before her bedtime. Reading her favorite story to her is the highlight of my day (and no, Tiger still can't sleep).

The last two weeks, however, I've taken a morning off from work to go swimming with Bethany and Promise at the Marco Polo. A few weeks ago Mum & Dad got us a privilege club membership at the nicest hotel in Davao. Included in the membership is several free trips to the rooftop pool. Now, there are several pools around the city, but there is something about escaping to a place of luxury for a few hours. You might have to live here to understand it, but it really is an escape. We may be only four stories above the noisy, stinky streets of Davao, but lying there on the fancy poolside chairs, with a plush oversized towel, contemplating a fancy fruit smoothie...you just forget where you are for a little while.

Promise absolutely loves swimming and begins to squeal with delight as soon as we exit the elevator (even the elevator is a nice place to hang out) and approach the pool. Promise calls it "the bap", believing it to be her own personal oversized bath tub. I wish I had pictures to show you of our recent visits to the Marco Polo, but I keep forgetting to bring my camera. I'll remember next week. Maybe.

Work has kept me pretty busy these days. As you may know, we're working on a deal with the Province of Pampanga, which is on the opposite side of the country, a couple hours north of Manila. We're facing an excellent opportunity to reach a whole new population, but it's not without its challenges. The province has requested an initial order of 500 Biosand Water Filters and has agreed to help us partner with another NGO to fund a new manufacturing center.

At this point we are still trying to work out the details of how to cut through the bureaucratic red tape and get the job done. Further complicating matters is the approaching election (May 11) with rules that restrict spending. We've looked at delaying the project until after the election, but the rainy season is fast approaching which always leads to a spike in water related illnesses. Toti and I will be in Pampanga for a few days on Thursday. Please be praying that we find creative solutions and reach an agreement with the government that will bring safe drinking water to the province in a reasonable amount of time.

I realize I haven't blogged in forever. I could keep writing at you—there is lots to say—but that would make this the mother of all blog posts. I can tell you that I've been busy enough with work that I haven't taken a meaningful photo or written anything creatively for a very long time. I'm even ignoring Facebook, because Facebook without wit just feels like an empty exercise. It's not that I don't have any free time. It's just that when I get to the end of the day, I feel like I have no creative energy left. I miss Uncle Bob. He would have been on me this month to get outside and make some photographs.

My hard drive filled up recently too, which meant that there was no room on my computer for new photos anyways. In fact, I've had images sitting on my memory card, waiting to be offloaded, since February 20th. I put in a new hard drive this week, upgrading from 250GB to 500GB, so I've got 4 gigs worth of photos uploading right now. I'll share some with you here, though they'll be painfully out of date.

Okay, this was a pretty lame bit of writing, but we'll just call it a bout of knocking off the rust. I'll get back to you later this week with something a little more eloquent. For now, I'll leave you with a few photos that should have appeared here a very long time ago, including some from my parents' visit, our 4am gold medal hockey game party, the really cheap and lame potty that Bethany mentioned a couple weeks ago (we've had a lot of requests), and the new table and chair that Promise has been enjoying.

Peace out.

Tim.

Somebody got a new rooster.

2010-03-08T20:05:00.000-08:00

I think our neighbor got a new pet. This particular pet has very strong lungs and at 3:30 am every morning, he makes his presence known with a heartfelt macho "cock-a-doodle-doo-er". Yes, ever the "er" is at the end of his crow. In fact, the first time I heard him, I thought it was somebody outside being silly...it was almost musical!

However, since the morning he showed up, I haven't been able to get back to sleep once he starts his dirge. Doesn't he know that the sun doesn't come up until about 5 am?? I haven't been able to locate his whereabouts, but I know he is near.....sure, we've had many cocks around our neighborhood doodling all morning...but this one is particularly loud...the baby monitor in Promise's room on the other side of the apartment even picks up his morning call....he crows as though he is in my bathroom...stuck and can't get out. Poor cock. Dumb bird.

Okay....enough with my rooster tale. Tim has some great and awesome news for you all, but I don't think he will get around to blogging until the end of the week, so please stay tuned. For now, I will just give you an update on family life and getting back into the swing of things.

Tim's parents left on Saturday morning. We had a great time with them and felt encouraged to continue following the path God's been taking us on despite its sometimes invisibility....or so it seems. Although I was very tired during their visit and was still adjusting to being back here, I appreciated them coming and taking the time to just be with us.

Promise is adoring her "new" room. She is finally sleeping through the night without incident. :) This makes her mommy and daddy very happy. We bought her a $2 "potty" this week and hope to start the training process.....this little Chinese-made potty is hilarious and I am not sure exactly how Promise is going to make the switch between the potty being a mobile "comfy chair" that can also be a storage place for toys and it being a place for her excrement. So the journey begins. :)

I start working at this clinic next week. Because of Tim's work schedule, I will only be doing one day a week to start. I am looking forward to being back with the buntis. It feels a little funny to be going back to work no longer a student and not needing supervisor or preceptor signatures! This week I get to start home prenatals on a friend of mine from church. While she is planning on delivering her 5th baby in the US in October, she has asked me to be her midwife until her departure. I am honored to attend to her. :) She is my first "client" as Bethany, CPM.

I also get to visit May-May this week. Remember her? Her mother passed away in early February from complications of diabetes. She and her family have been continuing to struggle with the loss of her mother and new challenges. For example, after the big earthquake in Chile, parts of Davao were evacuated for fear of the tsunamis. May-May's family was just one of many evacuees. The tsunamis never came, but the fear and inconvenience to them was very hard. Tomorrow is the 40th-day anniversary of her mother's death and she has asked me to come and visit. In Filipino culture, death is mourned a long time....and days are counted. I look forward to the day when she has the freedom deep within to stop counting.

Sorry for the lack of pictures...I am finding it hard to remember to take them and Tim is just too busy to be working on photography....I will be sure to get back into taking some soon.

Thank you all again for the congrats, encouragement, support and prayers....the proof is in the pudding and the pudding seems good.....prayers are working.

Be blessed.

NARM Exam results....

2010-03-04T20:43:00.001-08:00

PASS!

God is faithful.

Thank you oodles for the prayers. I am a certified midwife. :)

Be blessed.

Adjusting

2010-03-02T16:41:00.000-08:00

Greetings! I am writing from my kitchen table in very hot, sunny Davao City....Promise and I made it back safely without any major issues. :)

After the incredible miracles God performed while Promise and I were in Oregon, I was certain that our flights home would be covered in the grace and mercies of God.....and they were. Despite all flights being insanely full, I managed to bargain my way into getting Promise her own seat....and her own meals. However, she screamed most of the way from Portland to Tokyo with 2 hours of interrupted sleep in between. After a wonderful sponge bath in the Tokyo handicap bathroom, Promise and I headed to our 5-6 hour flight out of Tokyo to Manila....we sat next to a little old lady who was gracious enough to let us out 3 times to pee and get diapered. :)

We were so blessed when we arrived in Manila because immigration was speedy and though it was after 10 pm, Promise was still coping. We managed to get out into the humid air 30 minutes earlier than expected and we were overwhelmingly blessed when we saw Christina (Tim's mom) in the distance looking around for us. :) We ran to her and got BIG hugs. She had ordered us a van from her hotel and put us up in a wonderful room for the night. We were greeted by the Philippines Impact Nations team and my dear friend, Danielle, even gave me some of her halo-halo. :) Exhausted, we lumbered up to our room and Christina watched the Bird while I showered. By midnight, I was almost in tears from exhaustion...I tried to get Promise to go to sleep....she wasn't taking the bait. By 2 am, I was crying and Promise was wailing...I was sure everyone in the hotel was thinking that I was beating my child or something. I put on some soft worship music from my computer, gave Promise some infant Motrin and rocked her until she dozed off...only to wake up again at 5 am. Poor baby.

But Friday morning held a wonderful reunion. Steve, Christina, Promise and I boarded a plane bound for Davao to see Tim. They let me run ahead while they got the luggage from the baggage claim....I ran outside to see Tim in tears and Promise very sleepily say, "Daddy!". She leaned into his chest and rested. It was sweet. I cried, too.

While I was so grateful to have my hubby back, I couldn't help but feel an aching sense of doom. I didn't want to be in Davao. I wanted to be in Oregon still. Feeling my purpose for this season unclear and daunted by the overwhelming feelings of exhaustion and the responsibility to "DO" again, I started to withdraw.

This week has been very hard. We've had several earthquakes, power outages, water shortages, extreme heat and that doesn't include my questionable attitude and sheer exhaustion. I am sure that being pregnant is not helping...though I am so thankful to be healthy and strong for this little baby boy.

Promise is adjusting okay to all the changes again. She is finally in her own room (PRAISE GOD!) and is no longer breastfeeding! YEAH!!! During the day, the heat gets to her and she is getting eaten again by mosquitoes. She struggles with jetlag still, but is doing great at sleeping through the night. The many Dora the Explorer dolls help. :) She and her daddy are two peas in a pod and are enjoying every moment together despite her terrible crabbiness. In all honesty, this little girl has been through a lot and for what she has endured, I'd say she is pretty amazing and fantastic. She is handling it better than I could ever ask....and she is cute, too.

This week has been filled with visits, trips out and about with Steve and Christina and bacon. Yes, I have bought bacon nearly everyday this week. It's hard to come by here because it's pretty expensive....but my preggo body is craving it like water.

Tim and I were also blessed this week as Steve and Christina bought us a package deal at a very beautiful hotel here in town....they have a pool, several restaurants, air con and gorgeous rooms! This week, they are watching the Bird for a FULL 24 hours, so Tim and I can enjoy a day of rest together away from the stressors of home....and from water shortages, heat, and power outages. :) I am TERRIBLY excited. I wish it were Thursday right now.....one more day and Tim and I get to be in "honeymoon" mode for 24 hours. LOVE IT. The last time we did something like this was Valentines' Day 5 years ago!

So, I suppose that's the quick update version....no news on the results of the NARM exam. My ultrasound results came back showing a perfect little baby boy situated in a perfectly healthy womb. God is so good. His little kicks remind me of my Father's faithfulness again and again.

My parents in Oregon have been so encouraging as I have been transitioning back here...their prayers are certainly making a difference. I miss them.

Tim will update soon on all the crazy and awesome goings-on here. Cool stuff. I am so proud of him.

Be blessed.

In over my head.

2010-02-21T02:05:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting in the Manila airport, listening to Dashboard Confessional, awaiting my return flight to Davao. I've just wrapped up a last minute trip to the province of Pampanga, where some very interesting stuff is going on. I was so pleased to be able to join Mum and Dad and a small JOC team who are working in a couple different cities here in Luzon. My parents will be visiting us in Davao soon, but this visit was a very nice bonus.

As Dad has been traveling around the world this year (he is in his seventh country in as many weeks), he has spoken to church and political leaders about the biosand water filter. It seems that I have become the Impact Nations "clean water guy", a resource to project leaders and apostolic leaders from around the world.

Throughout the last few weeks, I have received a number of Skype calls from Dad so he could introduce me to the men he is working with. We have made the most of some very limited bandwidth in countries such as Kenya, Zimbabwe, and Uganda. I've had the privilege of encouraging men like Langton, who is working with his team in Zimbabwe and have already installed over one thousand biosand filters, making a significant dent in a very serious cholera outbreak. I'm working with men such as Robert Mponye in Uganda and Simpson Rebbavarapu in India as we explore ways to train their teams to bring safe drinking water to communities all over their respective countries.

Some of these discussions have included potential partnerships with governments at both the provincial and national level. One such possibility came to my attention five days ago. As the JOC team was working in Pampanga, Dad had an opportunity to meet with and pray for Governor Panlilio. During their initial meeting, Dad spoke of the biosand filter and the governor expressed significant interest. As had become our protocol, Dad called me to arrange a Skype meeting with the governor and his staff. I suggested that I hop on a plane, since I live in the same country and a face to face meeting would likely lead to bigger things.

Two days later I was on a plane headed to Manila and then a bus to San Fernando. It was great to see Dad again. I hopped off the bus and caught a ride to a local church where he was teaching a bunch of pastors. It was felt good to listen to him doing his thing as I sat at the back and did a bit of work on my computer.

He wrapped up his session and we headed to the provincial capitol. We got a few minutes with the governor who seemed genuinely pleased that we had come. We proceeded to a boardroom where I spoke to about eight of his senior staff about the filter technology. It was neat having Dad in attendance so he could see me do my thing.

As always, I was peppered with technical questions as people struggled to understand the power and simplicity of this thing we call the biosand filter. After the presentation, the provincial administrator invited us to her office where we agreed in principal to move ahead with a plan to bring clean water to the province of Pampanga.

I have already written a rough draft of a Memorandum of Agreement that I will bring to my lawyer tomorrow to turn it into a legal document. The proposed plan is to start a new filter manufacturing center in Pampanga as a private enterprise, with the government purchasing filters for distribution in the coastal communities.

The ramifications of this deal could be huge. It brings us to a whole new level of influence. It will very likely lead to other provincial contracts (I have leads in both Sultan Kudarat and Agusan del Sur). It will certainly strengthen our business, giving us profits that can be reinvested in other projects around the Philippines and perhaps the world.

It seems that the Lord has suddenly accelerated things and brought me to a whole new level. A couple months ago I was focused only on Mindanao, but today I am contemplating ways to make our Zimbabwe project profitable, drafting job descriptions for project leaders in Uganda, India, and northern Philippines, and beginning to get a vision for an integrated global clean water strategy.

I'm excited about the possibilities, but I'd be lying if I told you that this stuff doesn't scare the crap out of me. I'm in way over my head. I'm just a mediocre musician. A university drop-out. Now I meet with governors and draft province-wide strategies? How did this happen? Do I really want it to happen? This stuff is hard work, and I don't know how to do a lot of it. I feel like a fraud.

However.

This morning Dad preached a message that speaks directly to this issue. I'm a child of the King of kings and He has called me—you too, by the way—to the family business. He sees what is not yet, and calls it as though it were (Romans 4:17). While I may see my current limitations, God knows my destiny and has set it like a horizon before me. He has put a purpose and a passion in my heart that will serve as the vehicle to get me there. I'm just along for the ride.

Cheers,

Tim.

CATCHING UP WITH LIFE!

2010-02-19T08:57:00.000-08:00

Greetings! Bethany here...writing from sunny and cold Gresham, Oregon!
These past two weeks have been such a blur...a "brrr blur". When Promise and I touched down in Portland, exhausted and smelly (Promise barfed on the plane), my precious dad was there to greet us with coats and smiles. :) It was such a blessing to see him...Promise recognized him, but was just a bit unsure about life.

The next few days proved to be very trying and tiring. I got the flu. A bad bad flu. Promise wasn't sleeping and spent each night calling out for her daddy. We cried a lot and between barfs and diarrhea, we coped. My mom came back from California the Sunday after we arrived and Promise greeted her as if she had been missing her for years....screams and screeches of delight and excitement bursted from her and of course, my mom was equally excited. Grandma Con is her friend. :)

Mom and dad helped me through the woes of the flu and manned The Bird for me as I tried to study for my NARM exam. My brother even volunteered to watch her here and there! However, studying was just not happening....I was just feeling too icky, tired, jetlag and overwhelmed with life. I was feeling as though my urinary tract infection and fever were returning, too...making me nervous.

Then my dear friends, Heidi and Kate came from Vancouver to pray over me and to encourage me. They made the 6 hour drive just to bring me vitamins and build me up! I was so blessed! We had an amazing whirlwind time of prayer for our futures, for the NARM exam, for Promise....you see....about 3 months after Promise was born, I noticed a little physical abnormality but was not sure if it was something serious or something that could just be dealt with later in life. After having my suspicions confirmed with the advice and expertise of nurse practitioners, Heidi and Kate, I felt like it was time to go to pediatric specialist. However, I have no insurance and no way to receive care for neither Promise or myself.

Then enters a very special doctor......I had met Dr. Sayson in high school....the father of a saxophone rival of mine, he and his wife came to all the competitions and concerts. I had no idea at the time that our paths would cross in such a divine way.....
Dr. Sayson runs a free clinic for patients without health insurance in the Gresham area. The Good News clinic serves people of all races and walks of life and last Tuesday, they served me. I was floored.
My mom, Promise and I entered the clinic to find the whole volunteer staff doing devotions together. We were greeted so warmly and were told that there was one opening that morning for me!

After devotions, the nurse checked me in and I had to pee in a cup for the urine analysis. Dr. Sayson came in and after discovering our strange past connection, he asked me what I was up to now....I shared about the Philippines and the journey we've been on....he got so excited sharing that he is Filipino and has a vision to start a charity medical/midwifery clinic in the Philippines, too! We were able to encourage each other and he asked me to come and speak at his Bible Study that Thursday night. I was so grateful as my urine analysis came out completely clear of infection! He referred me for an ultrasound to make sure some of my other concerns were alleviated and also checked out Promise, agreeing that a referral to a pediatric doctor would be necessary.....I left there feeling at peace, but recognizing that there was quite a lot of work ahead of me.....

Wednesday came and I headed to my long-awaited NARM midwifery certification examination. I drove to the testing site in tears....grateful the day had finally come. Completion. The first half of the exam was a challenge and despite my many trips to the washroom, I managed to finish the first session 2 hours early! I headed out early to find some lunch.

While lunching, Dr. Sayson called sharing that he had booked me a FREE appointment with a pediatrician for Promise for that very afternoon. I was so thankful, but mildly concerned as my exam was to last until 5 pm. The pediatrician said I could come as late as 6 pm....I wasn't sure that we would make it in time. However, 1 pm I was allowed to reenter the testing site and take the second part of the 8-hour exam. I prayed that the Lord would quicken my mind so that I could get Promise for her appointment....I finished in 1 hour and 40 minutes. The 8-hour exam was finished in 3 hours and 40 minutes. God either answered my prayer or I REALLY had no idea what the right answers were! Ha ha ha! (I find out the results in 3 weeks).

I raced to mom and dad's place to pick up my mom and Promise. We booted to the pediatrician making it there at 4:30 pm. :) She saw Promise and shared that the problem was not as serious as originally suspected and that a simple regimen of medication should solve the problem! I was so blessed. The fun part was that this lovely pediatrician knew my brother and had attended his church! What cool connections!

The next day, I went to purchase Promise's prescription...$150.99. OUCH! I felt the Lord gently remind me that He was going to take care of all the details....so I put it on my visa and prayed that God would provide in all the places I lacked.

That evening I had an opportunity to speak and share the adventure Tim, Promise, and I have been on these last 3 years....the group I shared it with were so encouraging and upon leaving, I was given a "blessing" that I later opened up in the car on the way home....can you guess what it was?? Right...$150 cash. God cracks me up! I was so humbled. I also received a check in the exact amount that I had arrived in Portland with that I had spent on necessities such as groceries, underwear, and items I couldn't purchase in the Philippines....THE EXACT AMOUNT! God floored me again.

This morning, my brother asked me share a message on stepping out from fear and stepping into faith to a bunch of high school students! Well, with the kind of week I had, I had lots to share!

After speaking, mom and I headed to the ultrasound clinic to check out on my pregnancy. Though I have no insurance, my mom gave me the precious gift of seeing the little one inside...we marveled together at the sight of this squirmy monkey in my belly and the ultrasonographer, though not at liberty to comment medically on the state of things, shared with us that the little monkey is A BOY!!! We're having a baby boy! Meanwhile, we had a wonderful conversation with the ultrasonographer and found out that he has a deep desire to serve the poor overseas! What a coincidence! Mom and I shared about Dr. Sayson and about Impact Nations...he was excited to discover that so many opportunities were waiting for him! We'll see where it all goes! I am hoping to find out the results of my ultrasound by next Tuesday.

So two weeks of Divine appointments come to a close and I am FRIED....but my soul is refreshed and my spirit is invigorated knowing that my Saviour has prepared my path and has spoken clearly the steps I am to take all the while making some incredible connections! I have been floored by His mercy.

We are missing Tim terribly and know that he is very busy at home making some amazing connections with the water project. We are eager to see him next Thursday.
All this to say...THANK YOU FOR PRAYING FOR US! YOUR PRAYERS HAVE MADE A SIGNIFICANT IMPACT! God is on the move and we are so thankful to be leaning against Him as He continues to move us on.
Please pray for this coming journey on Wednesday as Promise and I (somewhat reluctantly) leave my parents and her cousins to board a plane for a very long trip home. Thank you all again.
Be blessed.

Just One of Those Days...

2010-02-13T08:25:00.000-08:00

Exactly seven days ago, I was feeling like an all-star. An absolute champ. One week later I feel like a miserable failure. Oh I feel like a loser! It wasn’t supposed to be this way. Today’s event should have been better than last week’s. After all, last week was just the dress rehearsal.

I guess I’d better explain myself. As I mentioned in these pages earlier this week, Toti and I spent February 6th in a town called Koronadal, where we launched a new biosand water filter project (you can read my brief account here). The goal was simple: train up a team of filter salesmen, arming them with the necessary knowledge to go and promote the technology in their respective communities. We were also there to train up an installation team that could fill the orders generated by the sales team.

My job description is ambiguous, but my number one responsibility is to go out into all the world (or, more specifically, all of Mindanao) and get people excited about the biosand water filter. My wife will tell you that the biosand filter occupies much of my thought life. It is my passion to make others passionate about safe water. So, last week I was in my element. I was doing my thing and loving it. By the end of last Saturday, we had 25 people who were very excited about water filtration and were armed with the knowledge to go make an impact in their community.

Honestly, I was in the zone last week. I was networking like crazy, getting laughs with my lame jokes, and encouraging as many people as would listen to me. Our turn out was much bigger than anticipated and everything was way more organized than I was expecting.

This week, my expectations were high. Perhaps our recent success had me anticipating big things. We certainly worked much harder at planing this event. Regardless, this was just one of those days. Some stuff was completely out of our control. A flat tire put us behind schedule, and a well-meaning but stunningly ignorant stranger gave us some very bad directions that got us so lost that our expected arrival time was missed by nearly 2 hours.

Getting lost, however, isn’t what has me feeling like a failure. No, it is the mistakes that I am still making after years of learning the same lesson over and over again. An example. Why do I continue to believe people when they say that I do not need a translator? I learned this lesson the first time I preached in this country two and a half years ago, and I’m still learning it. I’m pretty sure this makes me a moron.

This morning, I did my usual lecture, a one hour lesson on the biosand filter, explaining its origin, the specifics of the technology, and its recommended implementation in the community. No translator needed. Ya right. My attempts to interact with my audience/pupils went unreciprocated. But that’s cool, because blank stares are fun too. When I opened it up for questions at the end, the room remained silent which told me we were suffering from a serious disconnect. Two questions were eventually lobbed my way after which I turned the mic over to the local staff to address the payment structures and all those financial details.

And then it happened. As soon as a Filipino had the conch (wow, a Lord of the Flies reference, really?), the questions started to fly. I should have been pleased to see that people were finally beginning to engage, but instead I was mildly ticked. Their questions seemed stupid to me because they had all been answered in my lecture. In English. Sigh. So I let Toti answer most of the questions and did my best not to sulk or scowl (a great challenge for me, as you may well know).

Things got worse after lunch. Despite the clear agenda that I had laid out via email, we had a strange change of plans that had the entire group (about 40 people) loaded up into vans to go to a nearby school for a demonstration. Apparently there was already a filter installed at the school (who installed it?) and we were going to promote the technology to the parents of the school children.

There were no parents nor were there school children. There was, however, a filter. Oh, the emotions I felt as I rounded the corner and first laid eyes on that filter. Rage? Yeah, probably. Embarrassment? I was mortified. Amusement? This was no laughing matter. Despair? I wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

Toti is a much better man than I. While I was struggling to keep my emotions in check, he was calmly and quickly formulating a plan to turn this into a teachable moment. I should first explain that every filter must be installed by a certified technician. We certify technicians, and in fact that is what we are doing here today. I don’t know where this filter had come from, but there wasn’t a certified technician within a hundred miles of this thing when it landed at this school. To complicate matters, the owner was standing there with a toothless grin, proudly proclaiming that he had installed it himself. Toti deftly and delicately explained to the group, in their own language, that this was a valiant effort but was not providing the best results.

I didn’t take any pictures of the beast because I wanted no evidence of the atrocity. I can tell you that it had a strange mixture of river sand and very large rocks inside and was being fed a constant stream of water from a hose, origin unknown. There was also a hose attached to the spout of the filter, which led into a massive cauldron which was catching the water. I know this description makes little sense to most of our readers, but I am certain that Aunt Sylv is rolling her eyes right now. Needless to say, this particular “filter” was an abomination and was doing very little for the health of its users.

Why do I take this stuff so personally? Why did this site rock me to the core, and literally bring me, a 30 year old man in full control of his faculties, to the brink of an all-out temper tantrum? Well, the three hours of sleep I had last night was certainly a contributing factor, but there is much more to it.

This is what I do. I’ve dedicated more hours than I am aware of to the proliferation of clean water in Mindanao. I have carefully crafted a business plan and organizational structure that is centered around quality control. So when I see a filter that has “slipped through the cracks” I count it as a personal failure. Sure, I realize that with over 3000 units out in the wild, there are going to be some rebellious filters. But when I actually lay eyes on one, the only thought that enters my mind is that I’ve wasted my time.

Further inquiries revealed that the filter had been acquired and “installed” (I use that term very loosely) nearly two years ago, when we were still building filters in Joe’s backyard. At that time, we were very new to this business and didn’t have a clue what we were doing. Yes, we have since put policies in place that I believe greatly reduce the chances of such incidents. And yet, today’s encounter will keep me from sleeping tonight. I will go back to the drawing board and re-examine all of our policies to see how we can do better.

I’ve been writing this inside while Toti is outside doing the installation training. It looks like they have just finished, so I guess I need to get up, paste on a smile, and find a way to gracefully exit this town. The good news is that today over 30 pastors have learned of the importance of clean water and the need for the biosand water filter. It sounds like Toti just successfully trained 7 more installation technicians. These are good things, but it sure seemed like an awkward way of accomplishing them.

Cheers,
Tim

Six Days and Counting

2010-02-08T23:52:00.000-08:00

It has been less than a week since Bethany and Promise disappeared through the security checkpoint at the Manila International Airport. Last night somebody asked me when the ladies were scheduled to return to Davao and I jokingly replied, "Sometime in 2013." I must confess that some of the days have gone by excruciatingly slowly. It took a few days before I realized that my signature "I'm home" whistle from the bottom of the stairs would not be returned. It sure is quiet around here.

Other days have blown by. Saturday was one such day. I left the house at 4:30 and met Toti at the shop where he was waiting with the fully loaded truck. We drove for nearly five hours to the city of Koronadal in South Cotabato, where we were launching a big filter project. I've already written about it, so if you'd like a bit more detail about the day, you can click here.

After returning from Manila, last week was spent preparing for Saturday's event. Well, that was the plan. I was working away at my computer at 12:30 Friday afternoon when I received a text message from one of my "ambassadors"—I have an ever increasing network of people around Mindanao who are so excited about the biosand water filter that they are regularly promoting the technology in everyday conversation. Shari Bailey wanted to know if I could meet her friend Grace for a quick meeting at the Waterfront Hotel.

Now on the one hand, I was swamped with work, needing to organize my thoughts and my teaching materials for the following day. Conversely, Grace Pingoy is a highly connected woman in Sultan Kudarat, a province in which we have yet to make any significant inroads. In fact, I have been trying to connect with Grace for a few months, but the Maguindanao massacre delayed our meeting (she was personal friends with several of the victims). I wasn't about to miss this opportunity and was quick to leave my work for an hour and a half.

An hour and a half. Yeah right. We sat down in one of the hotel's many restaurants and I started doing my thing. What is my thing? Perhaps that is worth talking about one day. For the sake of brevity, let's just say that I blather on about clean water coming out of concrete boxes. Grace works with a congressman and is personal friends with the Governor of Sultan Kudarat, so we had plenty to talk about.

Partway through our conversation, Grace explained to us (Shari and her friend Peter were also in the meeting) that she was at the hotel attending a conference, a gathering of politically influential women from all over Mindanao. She excitedly pointed out that one of their sessions had been centered around climate change and its effect on safe water sources. Southern Mindanao is currently suffering from a drought that is expected to last up to seven months, meaning that many fresh water sources will dry up, leaving people to gather water from unsafe sources.

Long story short, Grace managed to secure me an invite to present to the conference at the end of their afternoon session. While I was painfully aware that every minute I sat in that hotel would be one less minute of sleep that night, the opportunity was too good to pass up. While waiting for my turn to present, Grace and Shari did the bulk of the schmoozing for me (I felt weird standing around with a bunch of women, so I was happy to take a bit of a back seat), passing out brochures and stressing the need for clean water.

I had arrived at the hotel at 1pm, thinking I could certainly afford one hour away from my desk. I finally left the venue at 7pm. It meant a stupidly late night of prep for Saturday's event, and I think I only managed about 3 hours of sleep. I'm looking forward to seeing what comes of the spontaneous women's conference appearance. It's funny how the Lord can strategically stick you in the right place at the right time.

For those who are worried that I will waste away without Bethany, I can assure you I have been well taken care of in her absence. In fact, I have eaten only one dinner at home since she left. Our friends just keep inviting me to their houses!

Please be praying for Bethany and Promise. Truth be told, it has been a pretty rough week for them. Bethany has a really bad case of the flu, and Promise hasn't been sleeping. Apparently the poor Bird spends most of her nights lying awake, crying out "baby, daddy, go". Cute, but sad.

That's all I have to say about that. Thanks for your prayers. No photos today. No time to take photographs this week. Actually, I'll share one from Manila that I put up on my Photo Friday album last week.

Cheers,

Tim.

All Alone

2010-02-03T07:12:00.000-08:00

Well this sucks. I'm home. Alone. I just returned from a little 36 hour jaunt to Manila, where I got to spend a day with Bethany and Promise before seeing them off at the airport this morning. They will be gone for over three weeks. I think this is the first time Bethany and I have been apart for a significant portion of time since we got married seven and a half years ago. When we were dating, we had lots of long distance seasons because she's from that big empire to the south of my communist home. But this is different.

I love my wife. She is my friend, and my daily encouragement. She makes me a better person by reminding me of the bigger picture. I don't like life without her nearly as much. She makes me happy and helps me to pull my head out of work mode long enough to be silly from time to time.

She took my kid with her. That was very difficult too. Promise is still so young, and it seems that she's changing every day. Imagine what I will miss in three weeks. Especially considering she will be spending it with her cousins, meaning communication and motor skills will likely develop at an even faster rate. Sigh.

Thank God for Skype. The Bird hasn't shown a consistent appreciation of the whole video conferencing concept, but perhaps she will be more attentive if her own Father is on the screen. If not, Bethany is welcome to put a picture of Dora the Explorer on the screen next to the Skype box, just so that it at least appears that Promise is interested.

We had a really nice time in Manila yesterday. Isn't nice a terrible word? We took Promise to the mall for some western food. Manila is all about the food. Food that can't be had here in Davao. Yesterday it was ribs at T.G.I.Fridays for lunch. Bethany was already in her pajamas by dinner, so I went out on the LRT in search of western food round two. The take-out pasta survived a long trip in my backpack on the very crowded train.

It was hard saying goodbye to my ladies this morning. I know that they will have a great time, but I would certainly rather they were here. Bethany is gonna do great on her exam. She's been studying hard, and she really knows her stuff. Thanks to all of you for praying. I am now awaiting word from her to find out how the flights went. They should be arriving at PDX sometime in the next 20 minutes. Perhaps I'll hear from her around 12:30am here.

My original plan was to go on a photo hunt after having dropped them off at the airport. I must confess that after I said goodbye, I was in no mood to create anything and just wanted to sulk. I asked the taxi driver to take me to the nearest Starbucks (again, I see Manila as one big food and beverage opportunity) but he seemed rather confused by the request. Thankfully, his randomly selected route—that was quickly taking us to an area that won't see a Starbucks for another hundred years—was enough to bring me some inspiration. The early morning sun was hitting a crowded river bank and that was all I needed. I think he was relieved when I asked him to drop me there, though his expression said "Buddy, I don't think there's a Starbucks in this neighborhood."

Anyways, I wandered until the light started to suck, and had a nice time making images. Unfortunately, my second attempt at finding a Starbucks very much resembled the first. This time however, the driver didn't even attempt to communicate that he had no idea where the nearest Startbucks was. I was too busy dwelling on my wife's absence to notice. When I finally snapped out of it, my driver, who was clearly too bashful to stop and ask for some navigational assistance, had rung up a whopping 190 peso bill and brought me to some remote corner of the city with which I was quite unfamiliar. I'm still not certain what prompted him to drop me at that particular location, as there was not a Starbucks in site. I suppose he had finally just given up.

Some of you may have already guessed what happened next. The meter had become so high, that I didn't have enough small bills to give the man. When I gave him a P500 note, he just looked disgusted and sniped, "No change!" I had kept my cool thus far (I wasn't being gracious or patient, as that's not my style, but rather inattentive). When I handed him that five hundred, I knew what he was going to say, and yet couldn't help but blurt back that I could have paid exact change if he hadn't driven me to Detroit and back! The hyperbole was lost on him, so I sent him out to look for change. When he hadn't returned after ten minutes, I decided my time was worth 300 pesos and abandoned his vehicle. To my knowledge, he may still be wandering the streets of Manila looking for change.

Oi! Rabbit trail. What was I talking about? Oh, my day. Actually, never mind. Not much to say. I never found a Starbucks, but the Seattle's Best was an acceptable home base for a few hours of working through my email. The rest of the day was spent going back and forth on the Metro, which is more crowded than you can imagine. (If you've just imagined a crowded train, you are wrong. It's more crowded than that. Nope, it's more crowded than that too.) One must be violent to enter and exit the train. Thankfully, I've got lots of weight to throw around.

I managed to catch a matinee showing of Avatar in 3D (one more thing that can't be found in Davao), before heading back onto the train towards the airport. I'm glad to be home, though it sure seems quiet here. I'm feeling sleepy, but feel silly for saying so. Bethany just flew across the Pacific with a toddler on her lap without my assistance. I hope she coped okay. Thanks for all your prayers. I'll keep you posted on my bachelorhood. Below are some photos from the trip, but most can be found at Facebook.

Cheerio,

Timmy.

May-May's mother

2010-01-31T17:40:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone...just a quick word. May-May called me this morning (Monday) to tell me her mother passed away late Sunday night. The family is sad, but feeling some relief that their mother's suffering is over and she has gone to be with her Lord.

Thank you for all your prayers and please continue to pray for her family, as grief is a process and they also have many bills to pay.

Be blessed.

Almost there!

2010-01-29T23:38:00.000-08:00

Greetings! Sorry for the long delay in posting. We were planning on Tim giving the latest update, but alas, he has been too busy for it and it has fallen to me again. Sorry you have to put up with me one more time, then you can have Tim back. :)

Since last post, not too much has changed with May-May's mother. She was moved to ICU almost two weeks ago with the docs thinking she would not last the night. Her family said their goodbyes, but today, she is still breathing....not completely on her own, but she is still fighting. She fell into a coma last week and the doc said that her brain is currently inactive, but her heart rate is down to 28 bpm. Despite pleas from May-May's family, her mother received a very expensive medication to boost her heart rate. In all honesty, they are ready to have her be with Jesus. She is suffering. The coma has helped to relieve her in some ways, as her brain can no longer process pain. However, it has just added to the suffering of her family.

Ate An-An and I went to see May-May's mother on Monday in ICU. Her daughter was sharing that 4 people die in that ward everyday in full view of all other patients and their families. Resuscitation is tried, though most often failed and only seems to add to the distress of the attending families. Watching each family weep over their loved one was difficult for An-An and me and we were only there for 45 minutes! I cannot imagine being there everyday, all day.

I watched as May-May's father, a deeply sincere and loving man, pumped mucous from his comatose wife's mouth, making sure that no sputum remained around the edges of her lips. He was gentle and caring. Made me cry. Her lifeless body only once in a while heaved with a heavy breath, her eyes rolled back in her head.

Meanwhile, we talked to her family asking them how they were feeling, if the nurses were kind to them and if they had enough food. We were very concerned for the quality of care they were receiving. As we were beginning to pray, a loud beeping sounded in the bed about two yards away....a man who had suffered a stroke was going into cardiac arrest. All the patients' families gathered around the man's bed to watch as a few nurses came to try and revive him. While this was taking place, the man's family walked into the hallway, stricken with grief and wailing. It was clear the man was not going to last the rest of the day....and lying there with the whole ward watching.....An-An and I started to cry. We prayed that May-May's mother would have the privilege of quietly walking into the arms of Christ without worldly pomp and circumstance or frightened stares.

As we were leaving, An-An and I felt a strong urge to ask if we could pray with the man's family as they sat weeping in the chairless hallway. They agreed. One lady attending was the man's sister; the other, his daughter. We asked if he knew Jesus and if they felt he was ready to go and they emphatically responded saying that he knew Jesus and had asked to go "home". So we decided to pray for their peace with his passing and that it would occur quickly....we gave them hugs, too....what else could we do? I cannot imagine watching a family member die so slowly in such conditions. I cannot imagine being the nurse that cares for those in the ward when 4 die everyday just in that wing of ICU! No wonder the nurses were cold and callous. We said a prayer for the nurses, too and headed home....in silence.

I love Ate An-An. She is my dearest friend here. She is a powerful woman of God and I have learned a new, sincere compassion from her. Being with her empowers me to continue. She is precious.

We had an opportunity to visit May-May in her home on Thursday bringing lots of food. She was so grateful and said that though I was going to the United States, she would continue to update me through An-An.

Speaking of which.....the time has arrived. Tuesday, Tim, Promise, and I will leave Davao and head to Manila overnight so that I can fly out early Wednesday morning on a jet plane bound for Oregon. Tim will return to Davao Wednesday night. I am so thankful he is coming with me to Manila, as being alone overnight with the Bird and not knowing my way around kinda made me nervous. Tim will send the Bird and me off. We are going to miss him terribly.

Tim has been so very busy with the Water Project and will definitely be giving you an extensive update soon. If you are impatient, please visit www.impactnations.com and click on Villages to see the latest in the Philippines. Also, if you are interested in the progress made in Haiti, check out what Impact Nations is doing in Carrefour, Haiti just by clicking on the link. God is on the move. :)

For the coming weeks, please be praying for:

The Bird and my safe travels out West - for lots of empty seats so we can sleep! Also, please pray that we are able to adjust quickly to the climate! It's COLD!

Tim's safety while we are away

TOTAL recall while taking my midwifery certification exam on February 17th - pray I pass!

Our health...it has been a little struggle these days

For May-May's family

And for our return to the Philippines, Feb. 26th

Thank you all so very much for keeping us in your thoughts and prayers. And again....thank you to those that commented on the last post....the encouragement is invaluable.

Update.

2010-01-20T15:37:00.001-08:00

Greetings! Thank you all for the thoughtful and deeply encouraging words in response to last post. Each one made me cry...I felt so supported even from strangers! Thank you for reading and for sharing your heart, too. It means a lot to us and each comment makes things feel less far away.

This week has been another doozy. Not horrible...just hard. Tuesday...First Tim had to get a complete blood count test and a urine analysis because he has not been feeling well. Upon retrieval of the results, we found that his white blood cell count was terribly low. TERRIBLY. Wondering was could be sending them so dangerously low, I called my dear friends Heidi and Kate (who are nurse practitioners) to inquire possibilities....we discussed a whole whack of things from hernias to HIV to leukemia! What a way to start the day! We decided that a doctor's visit was in order, but couldn't go until Wednesday, so instead we took off to our awesome friends, Darrell and Shannon's place for dinner. We needed a break...we needed some solace. We got it. What a wondering evening....while there, I received a text from May-May.

May-May was saying that her mother had water coming out her nose, eyes, and mouth and that she was having more trouble breathing. She said that her skin was white, but that her underside was purple with blood. She was dying....in pain. The hospital gave May-May's father a hand pump to manually suck out the liquid and mucous filling up her fragile lungs. He spent three hours pumping until his hands were so sore he passed the job to his kids.

May-May was nervous because her neighbors, who had been watching her baby, could not care for her baby through the night so May-May was asking me if I could take her baby for a few days. Because I needed to take Tim to the doctor the following day and had shift the following day, I knew it was impossible to take the baby for few days, but we could take the baby for the night. May-May, excited and thankful, agreed to meet me at a gas station to direct me to her house where the baby was.

At 9pm, Tim, Promise and I arrived to pick up the baby. May-May ran to greet me in tears saying that she didn't think her mother would last night. We prayed that she would pass quickly. She also shared with me that her family was so surprised that her mother spoke to me and answered my questions when An-An and I had visited. Apparently, she had not spoken in over a week! Mmmm.

I followed her through muddy back alleys and down small sand corridors, through a tiny neighborhood to her plywood home. Her family had suffered a severe fire in 2008 and had no money to repair the house, so the inside was filled with smoke damage, a leaky ceiling and the back half of the house was completely gone where the fire had ripped through. The back was piled with destroyed possessions and furniture still rotting from 2008. The few possessions they had were carefully displayed in their front room. They had done a magnificent job making their home appear welcoming and whole.

May-May raced to put a baby bag together and we quickly ran to her neighbor's place to pick up her baby....asleep. May-May thanked me again, kissed her baby, waved to Promise and off we went....home to put two babies to bed.

Promise THOROUGHLY enjoyed watching, poking and discovering this tiny baby boy and every time he would cry, Promise would cry harder.....it was rather humorous. I knew we could not have these two together in the same room for the whole night! So while I put Promise to bed, Tim fed the baby a bottle and rocked him to sleep.

I headed to the guest room to get some sleep before the baby's next feed and Tim put the baby in our makeshift co-sleeper and Tim headed to bed in our bedroom with Promise. The baby was out until midnight. Next feed....I lumbered to him and picked him up....he was very wet...and decided that he would prefer to cry until 3 am. Despite rocking, feeding, changing, burping, cuddling, walking, he just would not sleep and every time I put him down, shrill cries resonated. He had horrible gas from the formula. Finally at 3 am, I placed him on his side supported by pillows and he felt comfortable enough to sleep.

I was ready to get Tim for his next shift. We traded and thankfully Promise slept through the night (this is the first in over a year!!) and the baby slept for a few hours. I woke up to find Tim with the baby on his chest humming and singing to the wee boy. Tim is so great. I could not have done the night without him. Our sleepy and achy bodies were exhausted. But we managed to bathe two babies, feed the two and head out the door to drop him off with his mom and head to the doctor for Tim.

The doc was fantastic and basically said Tim's blood tests must be a mistake and to go get it retaken. Sure enough, the lab that had done the first sample had screwed up....a BIG screw up. Tim's count was normal, although we are still not sure why he is having such abdominal discomfort.

This morning, May-May texted saying her mother is still alive! But has now been transferred to ICU. They are not expecting her to last much longer as all her organs are failing, but the longer she stays alive, the more suffering she endures. Intense.

Please continue to pray for May-May and her family. They have been through so many trials and yet, their faith in Jesus stays strong.

Thank you again for all your encouragement and support. I am still trying to find some time to study for my exam, but very rarely do I have a free hour these days. I know God will be faithful, but I also know that I still have so much to learn.
Blessings to you all.

With a heavy heart....

2010-01-18T05:57:00.000-08:00

Hello, friends!

As most of you know, my mother-in-law made it safely home to Vancouver after a grueling 48 hours in Haiti. She is doing rather well and is heading to Uganda on Wednesday...seriously...she is one of the strongest women I have ever met. If you'd like to join her on a Journey of Compassion to Haiti in June (or to the Philippines in February!), please visit www.impactnations.com. You can also donate there, too.

Needless to say, Haiti has dominated my daily thoughts. I have a few friends working at a mission's organization providing medical/maternity care for the poor there....they are still working amidst the rubble. You can see their work or donate to their ministry at http://heartlineministries.org . They are updating their blog daily.

Today, however, I have a story to tell.

Remember May-May, my continuity patient that delivered a baby boy on December 22? Well, she came for two baby checks and then I did not see her for a while. Concerned, I texted her several times with no reply until two days ago. She texted apologizing for the late reply stating that something terrible had happened. She shared that her mother was put in the hospital with kidney failure, a compromised liver, and a failing heart associated with severe diabetes. For this reason, she was unable to afford the fare to come to Mercy for her baby checks and was embarrassed to say so. She complained that she was bleeding heavy again, had a very bad headache and felt very tired. I asked countless questions and found out that she had been the watcher for her mother in the hospital and her baby at home getting very little sleep and not eating much.

For those of you who do not know, when a woman gives birth, if she immediately goes back to work, lifts heavy objects, and suddenly switches from breastfeeding to formula, she can hemmorhage from the stress on her body as the uterus is not given time to heal. This, unfortunately, was beginning to occur with May-May...I discovered that she was CARRYING her mother to the bathroom to wash and holding her up all by herself. I found out that she was contemplating giving her baby to her ex-boyfriend hours away from Davao because she had to get a job fast in order to pay for the hospital and medical bills her mother was racking up daily. This would be over $800 US every TWO WEEKS! In a society that lives on less that $5 per day, May-May and her family would be working day and night and still be in debt many years after her mother dies! With no insurance and just a slight bursary from the government, May-May would still have to find a very well-paying job to even sustain her mother's daily medication...not including the actual cost of the hospital stay.

My heart was heavy for her. She asked me if I knew of a nanny that she could hire. I started to look into the idea and advised her to come and see me as soon as possible to ensure her baby was still healthy and to assess her bleeding. I also began to pray for a miracle for her mother....and for her.

May-May came for her check this morning. I had made her a sack of food, iron supplements, and some money for fare and she was exceedingly grateful. She looked so thin and pale. She was too tired to cry. Too dehydrated. However, her vital signs were normal and her baby appeared healthy despite the rapid change in diet. We talked for over an hour and after much questioning by both my dear Filipina friend, An-An, and myself, came to the conclusion that the only solutions for this predicament was either for her mother to go be with Jesus or for her to be totally healed. Two options. I asked if An-An and I could go and visit her in the hospital. May-May was not opposed to the idea, so we headed to DMC in the late afternoon to visit May-May's mother.

An-An and I were having trouble finding her. The ward that she was in was located in the hospital gym, wide open for animals to wander in and out with little to no airflow available. Beds were lined about two feet apart with about 200 beds in the gym. It was not a pretty picture. May-May's mother was being looked after by May-May's other sister until May-May was able to return. She was so sweet and welcomed us to her mother's bed. Her mother was yellow, jaundice from the failing liver. Her frail body was misshapen by edema, so much so that only one of her eyes could open...most likely from the kidney failure. She had already acquired painful bed sores and her breathing was extremely labored. I started to cry. I began to understand May-May's situation. It is dire.

We talked a little while about how things were going and I shared with May-May's sister that May-May needed some time to rest or she may end up in the bed next to her mother. I was a little harsh. But then I felt a sharp tug on my heart...I felt like the Lord said that I needed to ask her mother if she wanted to be healed or if she wanted to go "home" to be with Jesus. I asked May-May's sister if it was okay to ask her that and she began to explain that her mother knew Jesus and was not afraid to die, but that they never asked her that question before. When I asked her, she opened her eye and said in Visayan, "I want to go home. I am tired." So I repeated, "You want to go home to Jesus now?" And she slowly, but with conviction, nodded yes. An-An, May-May's sister, and I burst into tears and look at each other knowingly that she was ready and we needed to pray her passing would be fast....with no more suffering.

May-May had shared that her mother was supposed to start dialysis once every two weeks (costing over $800 USD each visit) and I felt again like I needed to ask if a decision had been made and if her mother had been consulted. They had not asked her what her desire was. So An-An and I did. And her answer was, "no", very firm. She did not want her family to be in debt for life for a procedure that most likely will not work.

Her breathing became labored again and An-An and I asked if we could pray with her. We did so and cried a lot more.....we felt the hopelessness in the room....the anguish, her mother's suffering....her daughter's fear and exhaustion...it was overwhelming. I thought of Haiti. No doubt this conversation is taking place by the thousands saying good-bye to loved ones too injured or sick to recover. I know God can heal them in an instant. And for May-May's mother, I think He may not....because she so desires to be with Him now. Mmmm.

An-An and I rode home together feeling tired, but hopeful for May-May and her family. We may have found her a nanny, too.

The feeling of wanting to go home ....home to the West came over me with such shooting pain as I walked the rest of the way home. Since living in the Philippines, I have missed the birth of two nieces and one nephew, missed 4 weddings, 3 Christmases, lost two very very important and irreplaceable friends and could not say goodbye or go to their funeral, and could not share the birth of Promise with my family except via Skype [:)] or walk through this pregnancy with a pregnant sister-in-law......and this week, I didn't get to be the one to hug my mother-in-law as she came off the plane from Haiti.

After visiting May-May's mother, I realized that I am not willing to miss out anymore. How long will I have with my mom and dad? My nieces and nephews...cousins for Promise? How long will I get with my brothers and sisters-in-law? How many more coffee dates do I have with my mom? Deep conversations about the heart of God with my brother? Stories from my grandma?

I am done. Perhaps this is my preggo body and mind speaking, perhaps it is the realization that at any point, I could lose the dearest people to me and never be able to say goodbye or grieve with those who know them, too. I am tired of missing out on my family. I want to come home now....yet I know I will not want to stay for too long...but I do know that I need some time with my family now. I am eagerly awaiting February 2 when Promise and I will begin our long journey to Oregon to see my family and take my midwifery certification exam. I may not want to leave them. Three weeks is not enough time to make up for 3 years of "misses". I will need to send for Tim..."leave the apartment furnished...who cares about it...just come home." That's where I am at. Selfish. With a heavy heart. I long to cry and grieve for Uncle Bob...for Christina...for May-May...for many things...some grateful tears, some anger, some just plain sad....but I just don't feel safe, yet, to let them fall.

Thank you for praying for us amidst all the crazy prayer requests. This has been a difficult season and I am currently fighting a urinary tract infection and some intestinal problems.....on antibiotics now. Tim is also feeling a little...well, "intestinal", too. :) Blessings to you all...give your mother a hug for me.
Be blessed.

Here are a couple of recent photos. You can see more on Tim's Facebook page here.

She's Okay

2010-01-14T18:34:00.000-08:00

I'm still fighting back tears. Haven't let myself have a good cry yet. It's been a remarkable 48 hours to say the least. For those who were unaware, my mother was in Port-au-Prince when the earthquake hit this week. I received a text from her on Wednesday morning (Tuesday evening in the Americas, minutes after the quake) that simply stated that she and Adam (her traveling companion) were in one piece, and that she had her passport.

On Wednesday afternoon, Bethany seemed confused at my apparent indifference to my mother's predicament. To be honest, I really wasn't giving it much thought. She had texted to say she was okay, so there was nothing to worry about. I went to bed Wednesday night feeling rather peaceful about the whole thing. My mom is super tough and can bring order to any and all chaos, so I was imagining how well she must be doing.

I suppose my lack of concern was partly due to the knowledge that the Lord was with her and He had her back. That would be the super spiritual viewpoint. But the reality is that I just had no idea how bad things were in Haiti because the news wasn't getting out of the country yet.

I broke my rule on Thursday morning and opened my computer before breakfast. That was when my peace started to fade, slowly to be replaced by a vague sense of dread. While I was asleep, the pictures and stories from Port-au-Prince had hit the newswire. Suddenly I had a lot to be worried about. It had now been over 24 hours since I had heard from Mum, and as the sun was rising on Davao, it was setting in Haiti for the second time since the disaster struck. I now understood that she was almost certainly without shelter, food, or water. I had no idea if there were looters or violence of any kind.

Talking to Dad helped. What a strange world we live in. I was sitting in the Philippines, talking to my dad who is in Kenya, wondering what my mother was up to in Haiti. Thank God for Skype. Dad and I talked for a while but did our best not to speculate. I think we were probably both trying hard to be brave.

I understand that worrying doesn't get you anywhere, but with each hour that went past without hearing from her, I was increasingly concerned. I was restless and irritable and couldn't concentrate on work. When Bethany brought to my attention the ridiculous words of Pat Robertson, it was too much for my agitated soul. A fountain of obscenities poured from my mouth and I suddenly realized that I was having trouble coping.

I called the hotline in Ottawa to register Mum as officially "missing", which was kind of a weird experience. The Canadian government was great and gave me as much information as possible. It was a pleasure to call them six hours later to report that my mother had once again been heard from and was reportedly at the airport. She had texted Dad from her near-dead phone and he Skyped me immediately to pass on the news.

She then left the airport to report to the embassy, where they made arrangements for her to catch a flight to Montreal. I have just heard from my brother Joshua, who spoke to her only moments ago when her plane stopped in Miami to refuel and drop off some injured Americans. There will be Canadian officials waiting to assist her in Montreal so that she can get to Vancouver shortly after that.

Why am I writing this? It feels silly to talk about my feelings when I consider what my mother must have just endured. Sure, my feelings are valid, but the story isn't about me. Mum will have time to tell her story another time, but for now I feel like I need a bit of a release from the tension and talking about it helps.

I really love my Mum, and frankly I'm not accustomed to worrying about her. As I said, she is super tough and very well travelled. My parents both have some pretty crazy adventures (though this one tops them all, as it involves her "riding" her bed from the second floor down to the ground), but I know that they are doing exactly what the Lord has called them to do.

This may sound strange, but part of me was wrestling with jealousy yesterday. I'm sure you can relate. Haven't we all wondered at one time or another how we would respond in such a circumstance? Surely, you too have pictured yourself as the hero in a natural disaster. Yesterday I was envisioning my mother and wishing I could have been along side her.

Thanks to all of you for praying for her. We'll link to any blog she writes about the whole ordeal. She says she was interviewed by a lot of Canadian media, and may appear on the evening national news broadcast on two networks tonight. She was already quoted in one Canadian Press story:

Christina Stewart was in Haiti scouting a missionary project for Vancouver-based charity Impact Nations. She had been working on her computer when suddenly the house she was in disintegrated around her.

"The floor opened up, the walls opened up," Stewart recalled.

"The house was gone and I was alive."

The gathered 50 comprised the second wave of Canadians to be evacuated from the Caribbean nation's ruinous capital, memories of the carnage of Tuesday's magnitude-7 temblor still fresh in their minds.

At least five of them were injured, though believed to be in stable condition.

Stewart remembered spending that first night in a field that quickly became so crowded with people fleeing their homes there was nothing to do but stand.

When rumours of a tsunami - which later proved untrue - began to spread, everyone in the field starting running.

"We were just running through the streets, thinking the water was coming."

If you're curious to know what she was doing in Haiti in the first place, you can read the one report she had filed before everything changed. Sounds like she was having a pretty good time.

On a side note, we had a pretty good size earthquake of our own in Davao this morning. We get them quite regularly here, but they are usually more of a "gentle roll" than a violent shake. Perhaps we're just über sensitive this week, but it sure seemed like this morning's was the worst we've experienced. It was enough for Bethany and I to grab the Bird and head for an interior wall, something we've not done before. Like I said, a bit sensitive right now...

Peace out.

Tim.