Friday, September 12, 2008

My brain and body, a leaky faucet....

Greetings! After Tim's many long rants from Santa Claus to Water to Promise, it's once again MY turn to write. :) And I must comment that I LOVE having four months of Christmas but have vowed not to put up our tiny, plastic Christmas tree until November... just to honor Tim.

ALSO...Tim and I just wanted to express our most ecstatic thanks for all the financial gifts, prayers, and well-wishing after the birth of Promise! Despite the many miles between us, we have felt encouraged and supported by our families and friends! So thank you to all those who gave selflessly to let us know how blessed we truly are!

As for me...motherhood has certainly been a journey. Promise doesn't like night time and refuses to sleep. Sometimes she just has bad gas and other times she just wants to talk and stare at us and if we don't stare back, she gets a little peeved....which I like better than her getting fussy. She's growing so fast and seems to change with every diaper change....her thighs are getting fat, her belly more round, her cheeks more squishy...and she even smiles a ton! She's added three inches in her length, too....finally fitting into some 0-3 mos. clothes now! It's amazing how fast they grow and she is getting frustrated with the fact that she can't hold her head up by herself....she tries so hard and is almost there!

However, despite the full heart of love I have for her, I have to say, motherhood is hard (everyone told me it would be.) and I can't imagine doing all this more than once. :) I feel like a leaky faucet and a worn out, saggy lady...which is okay, I guess. This too shall pass, I hear, and I know I'm not alone. :)

I sometimes wonder what God is up to with us having a baby while I am supposed to be working and learning at the birthing to serve Filipina women...but for now, all I can seem to serve is milk every two hours to a hungry, wee gift. We felt called to the Phils to serve the Lord while serving the poor...intent on putting everything we have into it and here we are....parents for the first time...putting everything we have into surviving the first few months of parenthood. Seems lonely, seems off the original plan....and all the while, we know without a doubt that God's timing is perfect and He is not surprised by the miracle He gave us. Makes us wonder what kind of calling SHE has on her life. It's obviously more important than any "work" we do here in the Phils. So much to be processed, so much knowledge and wisdom to gain. Struggling through...guess I don't need to know or see the tapestry the Lord is weaving. I am sure it's beautiful and moreso without me trying to "fix" it to make it look the way I think it should.

For now, we're just trying to figure out the next few weeks. I have class and a few continuities to do prenatals on and two assignments to plough through. I receive daily texts from previous patients wanting to see the baby and still asking lots of parenting, postpartum questions...the same questions I am currently struggling with myself! God is teaching me so much!

The end of this month holds a week long course in Neonatal Resuscitation and then.....OCTOBER 3, my parents come to meet their newest granddaughter!!! As you can imagine, this will be a breath of fresh air in our changing world and I can't wait to visit with a piece of FAVORITE piece. We have a few things planned for them, but ultimately, we are so desiring to enjoy them in our neck of the woods. God has provided for their needs in order to endure the long journey here and we are forever grateful for that. No doubt their presence will provide a very tangible encouragement to us.

Toti is working hard on the water project and it seems to be running great! Tim is currently doing what he can to raise support and awareness for the project while making connections with organizations that could help make the project self-sustaining. Thankfully, he is able to this from home and with short trips here and there around the city.

I will keep updating as things progress here and will get Tim writing again soon! Keep those comments coming and many blessings to you all!


heather said...

Mylanta is she cute! I can't get enough! I also love how you talked about how she doesn't like sleep and then in the first two pictures you post she's sleeping - and quite beautifully I might add. Yes, that kid is a gorgeous sleeper.

Praying for you as you adjust to motherhood. Don't try to figure too much out, friend. Let God handle the plans ("For I know the plans I have for you ...") and just enjoy your baby girl. It's gonna go fast.

Love you.

Anonymous said...

Bethany and Tim,
I LOVE THIS BABY GIRL! Bethany, other than her hair color, she reminds me of you as a wee baby. I can't hardly wait to squeeze her! "Surviving" is a good word you used discribing parenthood. You really find out what you're made of when you become parents. I am confident of your abilities as parents because I am confident of your dependance on God to lead you. Promise is a blessed baby. And besides she has terrific grandparents...all of them...including a greatgrandma and Phil, who are all willing to help. What more could she want!
We love you, see you soon.

Anonymous said...

This terrific grandparent says amen to all of the above! Connie please give extra kisses from me, as we have to wait until January.
Tim and Bethany just remember that no matter what, she is worth it all.
Thanks for sending pictures to dad in India. I'm heading home from Wisconsin, then I'm in Seattle; we will both be home Tuesday. Yeah!
Love and blessings, Mum

Anonymous said...

I LOVE that third picture! She is so big already and so beautiful!! I'm glad you're surviving so far. I don't think very many babies like to sleep at night...that would be too easy. Promise will have to survive two sleep deprived parents!! Love you, Nicole

lo said...

so.. i'm kindda regretting the decision to not stuff her into my carry on! my WORD how she has grow, and into even more of a beaut at that!
BETHANY!!! you are doing a fantastic job, and are a GREAT mom! the rest will work itself out in time. Your priorities are right, and that is ALLL that matters. AnD TIM. WEll if you keep taking pics like this your girl willl LOVE you later in life for keeping such a fantastic record of her growth.

Oh to be able to pop in to vinzon and visit. humm. I love hearing from you Bethany.. it had been TOO long :)

Hannah said...

Bethany, I'm a friend of Jenny Freeman. Jenny and I were MKs together in the Philippines. You mention that the timing of Promise's birth seems off when you consider that you're there to be learning. God's timing is perfect! Those patients asking all those questions... God's giving you a window to reach out to them. You are an example of a godly parent and wife to them. Not sure about Davao, but where we were, people put Americans (or anyone white) on a pedestal. We were assumed to be rich, perfect. I think that your patients are getting a chance to see that you are human, too. You may not be perfect (who is? especially after giving birth), but you are living for Christ! Be encouraged! I will be praying for you for rest and sanity in the days ahead!

Anonymous said...

Oh, what a beautiful baby! Truly a gift from God, eh?

We love and miss you lots, and to not be near you in this transitional time of your lives is really hard. How much more so for your folks!

May God's purposes all be fulfilled as he is satisfying the deepest desires of your hearts!

Love and blessings,

Aunt Sylv and unklrbrt

Woman, Wife, Mother, Birthkeeper. said...

Honey, it IS hard. It's VERY hard to go from being an independent woman, wife, to having something that demands more time than anything else in the world has so far. And believe me, I often felt like nothing more than a milking cow at times. It's normal to feel like this. :)

It WILL get better. She will start learning to sleep in a pattern that you can figure out, and rest while she is resting too. I cannot imagine doing midwifery work with a wee one, but as you said...God had a plan for all of this. And there's no way to look at that precious face of Promise's and think that maybe God made a mistake in timing. ;)

As a mom of three, I promise you it will get better. If nothing more than your body fully adapting to less sleep, and constant nursing. You're giving wholly of yourself, and that is a tremendous gift for that little one. So many moms don't give of themselves in this way. YOU ARE!

Promise is blessed to have you and Tim as parents, and to be growing up in an environment where she will see what it is to serve the Lord through serving people. That is HUGE!

You will get through this. Oh, and I LOVED neonatal resuscitation. ;) It's actually awesome to learn about.

Hang in there mama. Much love to you and Tim and Promise.