Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Roach tantrum.

Greetings! Last night I fought a cockroach. He was big...the fastest roach I've seen yet and I have seen MANY. He wore me down so far that I literally THREW my bedside table at him spilling papers, books, bottles, breast pump, and the like...he still escaped unharmed. I nearly had a meltdown....it was passed 11 pm, Promise was beginning her, "I'm not sleepy...someone pay attention to me...NOW!" stage and I couldn't imagine even trying to sleep knowing this giant critter had slipped through my tantrum of death and was somewhere planning a vicious revenge to take place sometime during the night....

Almost an hour later (yes, we were still soothing the wee one), that roach was seen climbing the wall and Tim came to the rescue with a flip-flop and the Baygone (bug spray)....he didn't get him either. I found the roach struggling for his life on his back in the office this morning...justice had been served. I knew he would die soon, but I stepped on him anyway. I needed the release....the closure.

Despite the roach, I fell asleep just after Promise closed her eyes only to be awakened once more by her need to be noticed. "Ah..what the heck..." I said to myself and picked her up and snuggled her into my arms to sleep. She slept. I didn't. Moving her back to her crib after the next feed proved successful and then I started my first night of weird sleepwalking....

If Promise cried, I surely didn't hear it! It was my leaky faucets that woke me up...I fed her in a daze totally not knowing what I was doing. Changed her in a methodical habitual fashion and fell into bed again. It was Tim who alerted me that she had started crying again...I answered with a sure, "She's right here, I am feeding her right now"....yeah...no baby in my arms, no feeding going on....Tim was holding her with fresh cries from the crib. I felt retarded...nutso.

I fell asleep again....I didn't hear anything....got up again to feed her....walked to the kitchen and ate a big spoonful of Nutella and forgot that I was supposed to be feeding her....my internal clock was off and I was just about to make eggs when I noticed it was really dark outside....night. Still.

I crawled back to bed and slept HARD for another 20 minutes. Until the restless little one was up again....Tim took her. My first night of "Where in the world is Bethany Stewart!" She was a few too many fries short of the Happy Meal. However, I made it through neonatal resuscitation class, managed to help set up things with Tim for the arrival of my parents (FRIDAY!!)...check out the baby mobiles, Tim, Serena (my buddy and fellow student)and I made cookies and finished a few homework questions.....now if I could just figure out how to do the sleeping shift! The giant black circles under the eyes and the mildly sore throat are proving the nights are long and sleep is not happening.

We're still plugging away, learning how to do all this....enjoying the journey....but thankful for the prayers....

In addition to my parents arriving for two weeks on Friday, I have two prenatals to do on continuities and an exam to take on neonatal resuscitation. Looking forward to seeing my favorite people and getting more time in the clinic.

Meanwhile, Promise Grace is growing well...she's definitely showing signs of a massive personality and is sporting a full smile here and there. She's a bit phlegmy and has enjoyed playing Russian Roulette with Tim on the changing table (she's winning with yesterday's combination "sneeze and poo" creating quite the mess for Tim). Here are some of the latest pics.

Thank you all again for your encouragement and prayers...we could use some more as we're approaching a little overwhelming stage again! ACK!
Many blessings!


Birthkeeper said...

I LOVE the first picture!! Too adorable!

The stages come and go, my dear. There will be times where you SWEAR she's not getting enough milk, or that there's something wrong because the darn ( I mean beautiful! ) child won't sleep longer than 30 minutes at a time. Two words: Growth Spurts. ;) If you can keep in mind that it's short lived...it might get you through it better.

She is absolutely gorgeous, and I loved the chubby cheeks - they're a telling sign of good mama's milk. :)

Hugs my friend!

pasivirta said...





BeccaLynn said...

YOUR daughter has a massive personality? I don't believe it.

heather said...

haha - i'm laughing at Rebecca's comment. It couldn't more true. Seriously, B, those eyes and her facial expressions are all yours - it's actually strange. :)

much love and prayers (truly!)

Anonymous said...

Love the pictures. Promise is so cute.
Boric Acid is still the stuff to use. We will have to see if we can get you some and send it over.
Love you lots and have fun with your folks

Anonymous said...

Tim, I can't believe after all this time in the hot sun and your skin looks a perfect match to your daughter's new pale pink skin! How sweet you both look. The nights are tough now but it all gets easier and easier. I can't believe you're actually able to go to school and everything and be able to study and retain information...that's just not normal!! The prayers are obviously working. I'm praying for you all.
Love Nicole