a harsh realization...

Greetings! Once again, the lack of computer has caused a lack in postings. Bear with me.

As most of you know, Tim and I have been on a media fast since the Philippines....we felt a strong call to enter a bubble in which to shelter our minds and spirits from movies, TV, magazines, and even the news. We hear updates on the world's trials through family, church and the occasional e-mail....our media input has been limited to Buzz Lightyear, Dora and Veggie Tales for the last 6 months. Gotta love living with a toddler!

To be blunt, we have thoroughly enjoyed our fast from all things media (with the exception of e-mail and skype in which to communicate with friends and family). Instead of ending our day with television, we end our day being relational with each other. We read stories with Promise and then read devotionals to each other....followed by some FABULOUS intimate times....you can fill in the blanks. :)

With the many trials we have been experiencing ourselves, we have felt it necessary to focus intently on Christ...it has been too easy to get distracted in the past. Our focal point being Philippians 4:8 -

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure,whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

We have also been trying to spend more time listening to worship music instead of our previous diet of Dave Matthews. It has challenged us enormously to moment-by-moment abide in Christ...our spirits so valuable that even a moment breathed without Christ can lead to destruction. I have come face to face with my vast need for Christ. Without Him, I am and can do nothing.

So, Tim and I watched a recommended movie last night. There was only one slight fleshy bit and mild language. Rated PG. It was a suspense thriller type...the kind Tim and I used to watch quite frequently. I watched feeling my anxiety level rising, my heart sinking and my spirit aching for sanctuary. We call this "being entertained". Whoa. I got a heart check.

I realized just how NOT READY I am to consume media as entertainment. Surrounded by a somewhat "peace" as a result of not having outside influence through TV, movies, news and such, I have been so full of joy...but my anxiety levels sky rocketed while watching this 2 hour movie and I almost started crying.

I realized what an incredible blessing it has been to starve myself of emotions brought on by pointless "entertainment"! How is it entertainment when I feel anxious about a completely fictional story? How is it enjoyable to be distracted by someone else's pain, crime or situation? What have I or "we" become as humans that we thrive on being entertained by lifestyles we cannot attain or other people's pain? I was totally humbled and completely wrecked. I am not ready to leave my protective bubble created after my world was destroyed. And I think it's okay.

Anyways, I am not judging people who DO watch for entertainment, but I know for me, I just cannot do it anymore. I didn't sleep well last night. With the world TRULY experiencing such pains as the earthquake in Japan and the recklessness of sin, how can I sit and watch it for entertainment? I am making a mockery of those whose REAL lives are so greatly affected by such humanity.

What if we all stopped watching TV and movies? Would we all be moved so deeply by people's actual lot in life that we would become more compassionate and more helpful in their plight? I dunno. Perhaps that's where I am at right now.

"Lord, break my heart for what breaks Yours. "

Be blessed.